Trainwreck

CALL ME MOTHEEEEEERRRRRRRRR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH THE MOTHER IS MOTHERING LET'S GO *STRUTS ELEGANTLY IN 6 INCH HEELS*

*clears throat* let's get started shall we?

The story has so much to unpack. You don't know what will happen in this story. Like one moment, you're gonna be happy and then the next you're sad and crying and depressed cause what the f*** just happened. There are so many plot twists in this story, and I really love the art style cause like, it's beautiful, and the way the colours, and the themes match each other depending on the scene, and what message the author or in this case, the artist wanted to convey matched so well. I saw one time that there was a comment where, one of the comments say they didn't like the art style, but like I think they're wrong so, yes.

Now let's get to the story, to the plot. The first arc was so nerve-wracking. Cause at first you think it'd be like cute and beautiful—cute's? Not really the word you would describe it as, but like the first meet and when they finally found wach other. And then they just give you that plot twist. It was very heartbreaking to know that Sasya went through that kind of experience and to know his back story of having trauma simce he was a child. Basically his whole life was built on trauma and I'm glad that in the first arc, he found people who he could be comfortable with. And it was very clear that in the first arc or in the ending of the first arc. You know that it's still not over. It was vague and it was dark. The color palette were mostly greys in the sense of the colours were watered down, and Karel was crying and the end. Sasya, his eyes weren't clear, they were filled with more sadness than any hint of Happiness.

The second arc was gut wrenching.There was so much suffering, especially in Karel's part, My guy waited and served prison in turn for Sasha. He also went to war and for 4 years he didn't see the love of his life—Even lost connection with him. Of course, the main lead wasn't the only one suffering. Sasya was also suffering. Imagine, OK. You're going through mental s*** while also having to cope with the idea that you were burdened—which he wasn't. Of course he wasn't a burden, but he felt like that and he still wasn't mentally sane, especially with Karel out of the picture. Karel, which was his Stone, his ANCHOR for staying sane. Later down in the plot. We found out that in the year they were together. Julian had a hand in telling Karel that Sasya wasn't mentally sane, which was he was correct. And he even helped them, he even helped Sasha get the therapy he needed. He is the literal goat, and he's the best man for real, but also he's a little bit of a dick, but he's still very likeable. Sasya and Karel spent a lot of time together. If my calculations were correct; it would have been a year that they spent a in the countryside, then 4 years in a mental asylum, and I'm thinking another year where they stayed or they returned to the house that they lived in, and then 4 years they got separated. That would make it 10 years.

The third arc (after military, I think, when they thought Karel died). I think this arc was the most heart-wrenching. Because you've found out that there were so many unreliable narrators, especially Sasha, who has gaps in his memories. A lot of things also came to light and God. I've been crying reading through it cause they've been through so much and I—wow. . .This was heart-wrenching in the in light of Sasya. I felt more for Sasya in this case rather than I felt more for Karel (cuz wtf was that behaviour? But it's also understandable behaviour cause dude went through so much) and then I found out about his experiences. And his sacrifices for Sasha and wow, that s*** hurt. The baby didn't make much of an appearance. But you know that the baby helped in getting Sasya out of the destructive behaviour that he's put himself through, another very helpful person in his life was the maid(I'm sorry I forgot your name, but you are the best girl with this story) Who was basically taking care of him and the baby and just putting some sense in his head and waking him up. And also praised the lord for George (HAWT DAMN THAT MAN IS FIIINEE). I really like the perspectives and the narrations of the extras more. Because they were just observing and they were just telling us what they've been observing as the bystanders.

I am not gonna lie the ending felt really weird to me. Cause with how the colour was colored and how the filter and the lighting was bright and blurry. I was very sceptical, cause I really connected it to a flashback, or a memory. Something that appears a lot when they were looking back at some of the missing parts of the story; like the mental institution or the war and the murder. So I got very nervous. Cause I'm like what if this is just Sasya's imagination again? What is he going through again? You know what if he wakes up? And this is not the life he's woken up to. It was imprinted in my head that I'm suddenly gotta see dark hues again (this mahwa gave me trust issues I didn't know I had). But I'm actually really glad for them, that they got a happy ending. But it still felt off to be somehow. It felt just rushed and it didn't feel finished in a way. I should probably read the novel. Probably.

In conclusion, Sasya's experiences were very heartbreaking and I'm glad that in the ending he got the happy life that he deserved. For Karel, I'm glad that he's also happy and is free from all the shackles of political connections. They had so many ups and Downs in their life and their story. So this ending is really great because now they can just love each other and trust each other, something that was taken away from them. Karel, going from green to red to orange to somewhat green does make sense. Because of his experiences and the choices he had to make for Sasya, it was all for Sasya, and it was all for the benefit of Sasha because he really loved Sasha. And I have an inclining that in another life he would still do the same things. If he was given another chance, he he would do the same things for Sasya (maybe a little differently) but he would do the same things over and over again intil his body gives out. Heck, the guy killed himself after Sasya died just to follow him in the afterlife, so you know.

The end is very bitter sweet. It was both fictional and realistic in different ways. I like the story but not as much as I think. Would I read it again? Probably not. It's a little traumatic and I'm just gonna save myself the mental strain of trying to understand everything that's going on in the story. I think I'll give this a 4.5 out of 5 stars if I could do that in this site but I can't So yeah, that's all I've got to say, those are all my thoughts and my recollections of the story that I just read in one night.So yeah.ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~