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My parents and foster parents are Christians and my mom is a pastor. All of my family are homophobic and I’m bisexual. My family talks about a lot of stuff like liking the opposite sex and how disgusting it is and I have to play along with it even tho I’m hurt. I’m afraid to come out and I dont think I ever will. They already verbally abuse me what are gonna do next? Kill me? There are reasons that I wouldn’t like to say about why I’m bisexual but I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere anymore. A lot of anxiety from past memories and verbally abused at home and with my friends at school too? It’s really hard to put off thoughts of suicide these past days..
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If the environment that you are in hurts you, it would be best to change that. Why do you need to live in pain for people that do you no good. Family is something that you can find everywhere, your blood relations shouldn't keep you chained to a situation that lets you thing about ending everthing.
At first you should keep a distance from these people, secondly you need to find a place where you can relax and have fun and lastly when you have thought deeply about what you want to do with yourself, then it's time to face them because even if you like the present, you also need to come to terms with your past and not run away from it.
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You really should leave. The best way to make them understand is to prove them wrong. Find another family. Close friends could help you or you could go to local organizations or meeting points for people with similar problems. Wait until you have a place to stay, even if you have to wait to move out on your own. Explain the distance between you and your family when you got the life you want. Or maybe just don't talk to them at all. Whatever feels better. You will be happy someday. I promise.
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I know someday you’ll receive the acceptance and respect that you deserve. No one is perfect and being you is hard in this world full of judgement, but i wanna tell you that sooner or later what matters in the end is how you vesion yourself as long as you’re not doing any harm to people I guess you are perfectly fine just the way you are. If they don’t accept you pls believe that they will if not now maybe in the future, don’t lose hope my friend you’re not alone remember that.
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Hey I'm in the same place, I also had the same thoughts as you when I was emotional. Trust me, when it comes to cases like this, you wouldn't want to use your emotions to make the decisions. Your safety should be top priority. Just play along, keep it in. I know it's hard, I'm doing the same. But one day, you and me will be out of their roof and you'll have the freedom we wish to have. Until then, we just gotta hold on and find other bits of happiness until the time we get that big fish. :D
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My family is like that too but I'm just going to do my thing and be me over the years I've learned to ignore them when I'm older and have a proper job I'm gonna move far away from them maybe not cut of ties with them completely because they are still my family I will contact them from to time to let know I'm ok that's what I plan to do
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Alot of people close to me have these same issues, and the only way to really make through it is to just hang in there until you can go off on your own. Its alot easier if you have someone close to you that you can complain to and ate ahve someone just be there for you, on your side, but, I know some people just simply dont have people like that close to them. Its saddening, and very hard to deal with, but just know that it WILL get better, sooner or later. Luckily ththe world is becoming much more open minded these days in compared to other times, so there are more and more people out there who are understanding and supportive of people like yourself. Just be strong. That's the best advice I can give, I wish i was more help
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truth be told, your parents may not accept you, but if its their opinion that determines your future, you wont have a happy one. your parents and friends are just few people, there are several others who will welcome you with open arms, like me. I'm here if you wanna rant but hold the faith(๑•ㅂ•)و✧ Ganbare!(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ
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Hi there! My name is...well, it's the internet so I guess you gotta be careful, so let's go with Rim. I'm actually a pastor's kid too, and I can't help but empathize with your situation more than a little: I've grown up hearing how bad it's supposed to be to be LGBT, but when I saw stuff like that in real life...I couldn't get past how NORMAL it looked, despite everything my dad had ever told me. Sorry, that probably doesn't help much, I do know this though: usually, your parents just love you. You may be different from them, you may be frightened of what they'll think, but ALMOST, almost always; they just love you.
Maybe that won't be the case here, how can I know? But keeping it all inside yourself until the dark thoughts eat you up from the inside out? It's just not an option. It'll kill you.
Your parents may not ever be able to agree with you, but I'd be willing to bet that, like most parents, they'll love you no matter what.
Give it a shot?
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You're not alone I have friends in the same situation. I recommend to tell them they can't kill you cuz that's against the rules and their Christian 2nd we're all equal in God's eyes were all his children no matter how much we mess up. And 3rd if they can't accept you for who you are and they're not real parents this is your life remember that your parents already had theirs you only get one life make the most of it. Just shoutout speak up suck his don't give a damn what other people think so why is that different with your parents
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You have my support! I hope you can keep finding the strength to move forwards.
I have no personal experience with such issues, but it must be extremely difficult for you.
I hope one day you can leave that house and find someone to love who loves you in return.
(⌒▽⌒) I hope things will become easier for you.
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Ah, sorry if I’m being annoying..but does really relate to the manga. It said that uncles boyfriend parents were against him being gay and they said that it was Satan taking over and my mom is a pastor and that’s I’m afraid to come out. So I was just sayin that this made me even more nervous about coming out.. does that make any sense to you?...
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SERIOUSLY?!? You think it is THAT easy a thing to do? The heart is not so easily controlled, and if this person falls in love with another person of the same sex (something that can happen even if they try not to), they should feel SAFE and free to share that news with loved ones. This person does not have any kind of real support system like that in their home life. A person should NEVER have to pretend they are something they're not, just to appease a bunch of self-righteous bigots who think that their way is the only way there is. And if you cannot understand any of this or why what you said is SO wrong, then you need a lesson on the fluidity of sexuality across the spectrum, and what it really and truly means to fall in love with someone else that (for whatever reason) you are either NOT SUPPOSE to love, or who does not love you back. Cause if love were that easy to stop or control, I guarantee that there would be no such thing as unrequited love. A subject I happen to be an unmitigated expert in (much to my own dismay).
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I'm straight so, I don't know how hard it must be to come out to your family, even if I picture it, it wouldn't be enough. I don't judge I have friends who are gay, I accept them because they are still people. I understand the verbal abuse, my mother would call me a stupid bitch, slut, worthless, useless, etc. and I've had friends who also insulted me and did shit to me.
My only advice to you-- your choice if you listen and learn from it or not--
Fuck Them ALL!!! Say bye to those friends of yours because they're not really friends if they hurt you (that's what I did, got some new friends who don't make me feel bad) Prove to them(family) that you are better than what they think of you and if they still talk crap, don't listen to it. Let it enter through one of your ears and come out the other ear. Stop caring for what they think of you because if they are Christian they are sinful as hell for the way they treat you. I'm atheist but I know somewhere in the bible it says "you shall not dishonor your parents"? Well Heck! shouldn't it be the same for them. And suicide? really?! Do you think killing yourself is gonna change anything for you, it's the worst option. I've thought about it too- not gonna lie, but I didn't do it because I want to live happy, I wanna know that there's a good ending if I take the right roads and build the future me that I wanna see smiling, enjoying every moment. You need to prove to yourself that you're to precious to just disappear. And you know what, hold out for a few more years if you're still not 19 or 20 and gather some money, get the hell out of that house once you've got a secure place to live(or share a complex with a friend)(OR if you're going to college, do dorms and keep yourself busy that way you don't have to go home ever) Once you are on your own don't even keep contact with them just say your goodbyes(you can come out if you want to) and live your life the way you want to. Believe me or not but you are gonna met someone someday that is going to make you feel like staying alive was worth it. Just be careful because sometimes you'll have that feeling and that person might not be the one. Just don't kill yourself, I don't even know you and I care about you. Right now I'm living better than before, I'm 20 and I'm still working my way to happiness and I have no regrets, I feel more at ease now.
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Thank you so so much for taking the time out of your day to share this with me. This made me feel better bc I’ve been feeling down more than usual. You are a very kind and caring person and I can tell that just by this huge paragraph you didn’t have to write so I will take this into consideration and think about it every time I’m down. Thank you so so much!
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Real Christians will love you no matter wht u are and who you like. The most important rule about bring a Christian is loving God and Jesus and your neighbors. Once u can, leave. Once u hve the courage to tell em, tell em. If they force u to like someone (like...tell 7 to marry someone your opposite sex) or they dont accept u or hate u, then fuck it. It'll take time but hopefully they'll know how to understand u and realize how important you are in their life.
Don't let yourself get to the point where u wnna kill yourself. It's honestly hard to not think about it cuz of how shitty life is but...God (idk if youre religious but uh yeah..) gave u a reason to live. And someone will love and accept u for who u are. So don't give up on your life. You'll ge through all of this.
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my relatives are extremely homophobic and religious ive been observing them being extremely judgemental towards him like mocking him for enjoying shows like mlp (anyone could enjoy that smh) and just cause he acts very effeminate like tf let the kid have some fun i want to tell them that its not wrong to be like that but i feel that broomstick bruising my ass once i tell them my opinion
ik this doesnt help much with your problem just wanted to share my observations but hope you overcome the problem in the future if at first they are very against you they will come to understand accept you as time passes
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Even though everyone in my family is catholic they never descriminated me for being gay and I think I'm really fortunate to have a very understanding family.I know this might sound cliche and half-assed advice but try to weigh the situation that you are in. Weigh if telling them the truth is more worth it than pretending. Both choice will cause you pain though so I want you to choose carefully. And if ever you're having a hard time you can always message me. I'm willing to listen and comfort you. P.S. I'm not that confident in my skill in english and communicating with people so I hope what I said didn't offend you or anyone here.
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I am very sorry to see that you have so much trouble! All I can do is give my honest opinion. I believe that people should be able to love whomever they choose. I also believe that god does not discriminate as much as some religions would let us believe. I also believe that our parents and grandparents are products of their generation. so my advice is to stay strong. you know that once you kill yourself it is over for this lifetime. you will not see your friends or family again.. you will not get the chance to grow and decide if you want to marry and have kids, or if you would want to someday adopt. every possible idea and dream will be over.
I hope that you can rise above the pain and think to your future. you can be or do anything you want as long as your alive to make it happen.
I don't know you and I will never meet you, but I can say for sure t hat the world would be better off with you in it. live your life, love whom you want and make this world a better place for those coming after you
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Please, do not ever consider killing yourself. Your situation seems to be really hard to deal with, I support and admire you for living through that. People before gave you better advices that I will ever do, but there is something I want to tell you too (Or rather I will do my best to explain it) Stay alive ! :) you’r young, you have so much more to do, to live, to experiment, there is so many thing that are worth living for ! Your present life must be really difficult if you got to the point of thinking about suicide, but it’s a hard time you have to pass, it will got better ! For now, just ignore what terrible and false things your family might tell, you know who you are, you know what you worth, and you are precious :) I don’t know if it’s possible to change their opinion about LGBTQ+ people so just let it pass, don’t let their words hurt you. If they don’t accept you the way you are, (like people before said,) leave them as soon as possible. You deserve to be happy and if those people are toxic to the point that they make you suicidal, then you gain nothing staying with them. Don’t give up on your life because of some stupid and ignorant people. I know what it’s like to feel depressive and alone, I’m myself young and quite unhappy on this time, but I know it’s temporary. I want to do my best to be happy and to enjoy every little thing that can make me so. You are definitely not alone and you will be ok. :) I hope it helped you, even if it’s just a little. Sorry if I made English mistakes, it’s not my first language ^^’ (I hope my sentences made sense)
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Please, do not ever consider killing yourself. Your situation seems to be really hard to deal with, I support and admire you for living through that. People before gave you better advices that I will ever do, but there is something I want to tell you too (Or rather I will do my best to explain it) Stay alive ! :) you’r young, you have so much more to do, to live, to experiment, there is so many thing that are worth living for ! Your present life must be really difficult if you got to the point of thinking about suicide, but it’s a hard time you have to pass, it will got better ! For now, just ignore what terrible and false things your family might tell, you know who you are, you know what you worth, and you are precious :) I don’t know if it’s possible to change their opinion about LGBTQ+ people so just let it pass, don’t let their words hurt you. If they don’t accept you the way you are, (like people before said,) leave them as soon as possible. You deserve to be happy and if those people are toxic to the point that they make you suicidal, then you gain nothing staying with them. Don’t give up on your life because of some stupid and ignorant people. I know what it’s like to feel depressive and alone, I’m myself young and quite unhappy on this time, but I know it’s temporary. I want to do my best to be happy and to enjoy every little thing that can make me so. You are definitely not alone and you will be ok. :) I hope it helped you, even if it’s just a little. Sorry if I made English mistakes, it’s not my first language ^^’
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Please, do not ever consider killing yourself. Your situation seems to be really hard to deal with, I support and admire you for living through that. People before gave you better advices that I will ever do, but there is something I want to tell you too (Or rather I will do my best to explain it) Stay alive ! :) you’r young, you have so much more to do, to live, to experiment, there is so many thing that are worth living for ! Your present life must be really difficult if you got to the point of thinking about suicide, but it’s a hard time you have to pass, it will got better ! For now, just ignore what terrible and false things your family might tell, you know who you are, you know what you worth, and you are precious :) I don’t know if it’s possible to change their opinion about LGBTQ+ people so just let it pass, don’t let their words hurt you. If they don’t accept you the way you are, (like people before said,) leave them as soon as possible. You deserve to be happy and if those people are toxic to the point that they make you suicidal, then you gain nothing staying with them. Don’t give up on your life because of some stupid and ignorant people. I know what it’s like to feel depressive and alone, I’m myself young and quite unhappy on this time, but I know it’s temporary. I want to do my best to be happy and to enjoy every little thing that can make me so. You are definitely not alone and you will be ok. :) I hope it helped you, even if it’s just a little. Sorry if I made English mistakes, it’s not my first language ^^’
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ALL YALL TALKING ABOUT INCEST STFU! LOOK, ADAM AND EVE FUCKED EACH OTHER AND THEIR CHILDREN AND THEIR CHILDREN FUCKED THEIR BROTHERS AND SO ON DF! THEY DID INCEST AND THAT WHY WE ARE HERE TODAY FUCKING RETARDS!
EVEN IF IT WAS EVOLUTIONARY ONE SPIECES ALWAYS HAD TO START WITH ONE PAIR
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The same concept applies to evolution. We didn't all just... Spawn in. There was originally only one or two apes who had evolved from something else, had sex and we eventually evolved from the apes' descendants. However you look at it, we're all descendants of incest. Not that i personally condone incest, it's just that i saw your argument was flawed.
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Putting the strawman aside, however you want to look at it, there can only have been a few of anything at one point. As i said, everything didn't just spawn in, it happened over time through reproduction. Trace anything back through it's line of reproduction and there has to be an origin. If everything came from something, it's all incest. Literally, just using logic can tell you this.
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Not quite aha. There was never an 'original pair' it's not quite how this all goes about sorry.
Evolution works by *populations of organisms* adapting to their environments by having certain desirable (sometimes coincidental) traits, through certain natural processes (e.g., genetic mutation, natural selection). The point of sexual reproduction is to **increase genetic variation** to spur on this process! So no not incest at all.
A small gene pool leads to genetic malformations and diseases - the greater the inbreeding the higher chance of these issues occurring. Which is why some studies suggest we're so 'icky' with incest. We're biologically disinclined to reproduce with our direct siblings/relatives and choose instead to seek out genetic variance.
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Your argument ignores the fact that for much of human history, we lived in small tribes where incest was inevitable because individuals from outgroups were either unavailable or considered a threat. That "ickiness" is actually largely culturally instilled: take as evidence the fact that most nonhuman organisms don't have that problem and will breed with any available partner, regardless of whether they are related or not.
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I understand how evolution works, explaining it doesn't add anything to the conversation. As i said, there is an origin to anything.Even if humans came from, say, a mass of cells, it doesn't change that the human race logically had to come from a single thing and we're all evolved/bred from that thing and whatever things that evolved into as our origin.
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Putting evolution aside, are you denying that all humans have an origin, and as such must all be committing incest as we all share a common "ancestor", though it's not human. What do you think happened? Again, we didn't just spawn in and you're only looking a certain distance back rather than to the beginning, which is where i've been saying our origin is. You're saying "oh well ACTUALLY we evolved from a group of organisms, not one or two", which is irrelevant as you're only looking at a portion of the evolutionary chain. The organisms evolved from something. Those things evolved from something and all of this goes back to a single thing that we all came from. The reason DNA is different, the reason it doesn't LOOK like we're related under a microscope is because of the sheer amount of reproduction after such a long time. The DNA has changed. Incest causes health issues because the DNA is very close to the same in blood relatives as your immediate family will have similar DNA since when you're born your DNA is close to a copy of your parents.
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I didn't really have an 'argument' other than to comment that was not how evolution worked. In terms of as for what you're saying....sure, I agree. It's definitely a socially ingrained reaction. But in terms of debating the morals and ethics (as is happening in a lot of comments) of incestuous relationships...it's a whole other ball game and oddly inappropriate with appeals to nature arguments.
There are a number of behaviours that non-human organisms engage in that, within the socio-cultural context that I live in would be completely unacceptable. This also applies to human or collective cultural behaviour from previous parts in history. Just because something is 'natural' or has happened before really isn't an actual argument in it's favour. In fact, vice versa, simply because something is 'unnatural' isn't really an argument to curb certain beliefs or behaviours.
I'm happy for any consenting adults (related or not) to engage in any sort or romantic or sexual relationship. I've really got no dog in that fight - ickiness or otherwise. As for health issues of children - too complicated a topic! As for this comic - when disregarding Adam or Eve or the role of incest in our evolutionary history lol -They're like....not related and they're consenting adults. And gay men...who can't have kids together. I'm unsure of what the issue is.
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Incest; the sexual relations between people classed as being too closely related to marry each other. So, we're referring to the relatives who have sexual relationships in the last part of your statement here - with the similar genetic makeup.
I'm getting a little lost in your point.....everything is linked through an evolutionary chain and therefore we are all a product of incest? Like a philosophical point? Therefore, what...incestuous relationships between actually closely related individuals is.....expand?
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Feminism: The advocasy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.
Communism: a political theory derived from Karl Marx, advocating class war and leading to a society in which all property is publicly owned and each person works and is paid according to their abilities and needs.
Do i need to continue to further the point that reality and definition aren't always the same? My point here is that bringing up the definition isn't always a sound argument, especially in cases like this where the words is so charged with subcontext. Of course most people would be discussing morals and society. Anyways, this has all been besides my original point, that being that there IS an origin and it is possible that there were only a few humans when we first evolved to being classed as homosapiens. I brought this forward because you were snidely commenting that Adam and Eve didn't exist, so i thought i'd put in my 2 cents and point out that even if you're looking at creation through the lens of evolution, you can't rule out that there definitely WAS at most only a handful of homosapiens at one time. Logically thinking. You think ALL the organisms (that would evolve into humans) evolved at the same pace? You think all the said evolving organisms evolved equally, becoming human with no issues and no loss of life? At the dawn of humanity, there CAN'T have been many, these all had children, their children had children and that is where the incest began.
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You also keep saying "that's not how evolution works", but it really is... You haven't added anything there. Everything you've said is exactly what i said in my 1st response. The leading theory is that humans evolved from apes, i pointed this out as well as that the apes had been breeding long enough for this evolution to take place. I also said that something must've came before the apes, something that evolved into them. Read what i said properly before you try to correct me.
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I guess you're arguing that there weren't "only two", but that's just sheer speculation on your part. Me asserting that there were two apes is due to the fact that, in order to breed, there has to be AT LEAST two. A male and female. Two is a guaranteed number, what you're saying is speculation. That being that there were more than two apes at the very beginning of their evolutionary chain. You're guessing that the organisms that evolved into apes all did so at the same time, pace and rate, leading to many apes at the same time.
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I didn't comment that Adam and Eve didn't exist aha...that was somebody else. They were just being rude to the OP, maybe you're yelling at them?
But, like, again. So, I don't really disagree, I'm not really sure where you got this idea where I think incest doesn't exist. I posted a definition because you're on a bit of a tangent and that was the topic area (i.e., the apparent objection and moral ambiguity of incestuous relationships) I was commenting on.
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@Anon Your original quote: "We're biologically disinclined to reproduce with our direct siblings/relatives and choose instead to seek out genetic variance." This is what I was responding to when I made the point about how other species aren't as picky about what they choose to mate with, so the biological argument against incest is weak.
I'm not arguing in favor of incest, however. I just think it's fun to examine the basis of our own moral code. So often we like to think that it's based on logic, facts, and science, when really it comes down to a personal belief system that has just as little/as much evidence for it as Adam and Eve do.
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We, as in humans. The studies I read didn't suggest it was biologically innate in every species. But really, I should have said we're more psychologically disinclined -which as you said is probably due to cultural belief.
But I totally agree :). I was just sharing what I thought as well - it's an interesting topic. You make an interesting point - we're all so biased by our own perceptions of how the world 'works'.
Just because of this convo, I went and checked up legal penalties for incestuous relationships where I'm from. I was a bit shocked, they're pretty steep - up to 7 years in prison.
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Oh, you answered to my response to Fantelle. I see. I'm on a tangent because i wasn't talking to you. My bad? I mean, sort of. You DID come out of nowhere responding to something i said to someone else without any indication that you're someone else. Your answer was even within the context we were speaking of. My reason for this discussion was to show "you" (Fantelle) that yes, it is entirely possible that an "Adam and Eve" existed even from a scientific standpoint. Your response was so seemlessly inserted into the conversation that i got confused so i do apologize about that.
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Where? Point out the specific part that made you think so. If anything, you came in out of nowhere just to correct me, but I'M holier than thou? what even? Just take the gold medal, those mental gymnastics are on point. You also misunderstood my original response and kept repeatedly telling me i'm wrong about evolution...
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Y’all know that they are step-siblings that have no blood relation..
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yeah that's because they have to start somewhere but now there is literally so many people if you can't find someone other than you stepbrother that's on you go marry your brother or stepbrother no one is stopping you geez but it's illegal so idk how you gonna do that
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that's still illegal wtf you can't marry your step siblings y'all crazy
HURRY AND GIVE HIM THE RING!!
IT'S A RING?!
I knew it! one ring to rule them all
Isn't it obviously?!
Yes you are correct. I thought that's what it was as well