Carddy Chammy's Topics (22)

But bruh I always read Bellesac's name as ballsac sorry, that's the way I can remember him

If this woman is already so handsome and ethereal, what more when she become a man. God forbid a woman this beautiful like a goddess ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄

GYATT DAYUMM

Is that so..... Ok back to topic

Damn, teach is also very handsome like oh my gahhh ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄ , his triceps and biceps are also very muscularლ(´ڡ`ლ), his build is qualified to be a seme but whenever he is beside Gu-Win, his build gets overwhelmed by him BWAHAHAH

So, to some people who always wonder why he can't let go of his father, I will it explain it in my own experience and opinion(I will put spoiler warning to minimize the space), because the author really did a great job capturing the feelings of a child. (This is a long rant, read it if you want, or just read the last sentences dedicated to Wowon)

I also have a great relationship to my father when I was a kid and that changed when I start to grow up, he shows these things he does that I refuse to believe before because I defend him against my mother's side and even in his family side. But, through these years, he changed or should I say I am blinded by the play and things he have given me in my childhood, its like the love and trust I have poured just diminished as I saw the side I kept denying that is true.

I started to hate him and resent him, we argued and got into fights, he hates me and resents me, we can't even have a normal father and daughter conversation, and I know that if he decided to choose between money and his family, he will never choose us(I can feel it). It hurts, but the feeling of giving him a chance of maybe, maybe, he will change and think about us and not about other people, his pride, greed for money and his materialistic mind.

I hate my father, I fully know that, but the past just keeps making me guilty about the good things that he did. Questions of why he did that keeps lingering to me and makes me feel annoyingly guilty about him, it's like I am bearing the weights of guilt of the 'maybes' I keep hoping for. Until now, I am the one who initiates and try to fix my father, because my Mom suffers and is busy being the breadwinner of the family while my father always think about getting profit and his debts that keep piling up because of his-I don't know- the plans that he keeps saying that will make him rich, and I don't want my brother to look at our Dad being a bad example, that is why I try to guide him with the best I could so that he could grow and be a good father soon to his future children and family.

So, just like Wowons debate of conscience, guilt, anger, and regrets. Even with his father dead, it will be hard to let go of the things he carried and the things that made him feel that he must be always responsible and accountable for everything. His father is the he trusted, the one who he knew to be his alliance, imagine being suddenly an asshole to a child after being a good person will make the child feel betrayed and may develop this so called "trust issues", doubt to self and downgrading oneself and doubting to receive any affection because Wowon feels like if he did something wrong, he'll think the love or affection given to him will be taken away.


Anyways, to the people similar to these situations, seek help or care to someone you feel confortable and close. It's hard to pile up the abundant guilt inside, we also need to release it, we are humans not some kind of God.

I am on the path of recovering and reparing myself along with my family, with my father ofc, he is not used to me getting all initiative and confronting to make him talk about his problems and explaining why is he like that and why he should not be like that(because also, he is raised by his parents that way, my father's family side have so much issues)(I always initiates and do not like if problems are not fixed with communication, listening and being open-minded, although I still feel inferior towards myself and always keep downgrading myself because of the traumas I have been through, I keep telling that, I and my own should live me first if I want to find the people that I will love to)

Stay strong my babies, I know they will be together, but the obstacles they are going through will never make it easy for them. Oh, gosh, I have never been invested to a mahwa that it makes me pray to make them stronger and stay together until the end.

(I am rather emotional about this because I am reviewing for my midterms next week, wish me luck

My parents have finally reconciled

Thankfully I'm in the bathroom while shitting, I am sniffling and crying my ass out for this chapter

Jake as a SCORPIO humbled by his wifey SHINGUN a LEO BWAHAHAHAHA