Cloe900311's Topics (155)

So... how did Junyoung and Sihoon continue living under the same roof before Sihoon went to the US? Did they really not talk with each other while sharing the same bed? It was probably too awkward for Sihoon and Junyoung to have sex after their fight, but it's awkward to envision them sleeping on the same bed, far apart from each other too.... .______. I'm startled by this sudden time-skip after their fight last chapter. Did the author rush to complete the story because of the Lezhin drama?? If I'm not satisfied with the next two chapters, I will act like chapters 57-60 do not exist LOL. Junyoung and Sihoon did not need to break up and not interact AT ALL for four years（￣へ￣）

It's clear Junyoung and Sihoon love each other. Sihoon even acknowledged in chapter 47, "We have a communication problem" when they reconciled after the misunderstanding. I would assume that these two would be motivated to talk more after the misunderstanding, but maybe it takes time to learn...? It is true that sometimes people learn after more than one mistake but spending four years without interacting at all is just too much time wasted. ┑(￣Д ￣)┍ I understand not talking for a while or spending some time apart after a fight, but I think Sihoon and Junyoung should have talked before Sihoon left South Korea. Heck, Junyoung probably went to work instead of dropping Sihoon off at the airport.... :/

After some time, it would have been lovely if Junyoung said, "I love you and want to be with you, but it's important to me to fulfill my dreams first." 'Cause Sihoon wanted to build their future together and didn't feel Junyoung was prioritizing that. We know Junyoung had plans in South Korea first, but I don't think Sihoon saw it that way. And I'm wondering why Sihoon stayed four years in the US, when he planned to stay for two years...??? I think even if Junyoung continued to decline going to the US after another discussion, they could have made arrangements, like agreeing to be in a long-distance relationship. Maybe that would have motivated Sihoon to visit South Korea within those four years or maybe Junyoung could have taken some time off work to go the States.

I appreciate that Ji Hye-Kyung demonstrates that being in a romantic relationship does not necessarily mean you give up your dreams and prioritize the other person or your relationship, over yourself. HOWEVER, I also see why people may choose their relationship and postpone pursuing their dreams without necessarily forgetting about them. We see that even though Junyoung is now the manager at his workplace and probably has sex without attachment (I talked about my confusion regarding Junyoung's sex lifestyle here -> http://www.mangago.zone/home/mangatopic/3331327/), he's NOT content!! ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ

I truly had such a lonely vibe from Junyoung when he managed the restaurant alone. It just feels like he watches customers come and go as they continue their lives, while he woke up to an unnamed naked person in his bed and devotes all his time to work. :/// I don't think this is the lifestyle Junyoung dreamed of four years ago when he declined going to the States LOL!! It's sad when people fulfill their dreams but they're not happy, which is what Junyoung is experiencing :(( Baby, your dreams aka work is important to you, but your love life is also important, which is why you felt empty within these four years!! You could only use work to distract yourself so much... There is a thrill when you work towards your dream, but once you achieve that goal, then what? :/

Knowing ma man Sihoon, he missed Junyoung too. I could imagine Sihoon living alone in the States and attending his training program. There must have been moments when Sihoon would roll around in bed, his hand reaching out for Junyoung, but then being forced to accept that he and Junyoung aren't together and has to adapt to the single life again. :(( Daddy doesn't fall in love often, but damn, he fell hard for Junyoung... </3 I think like Junyoung, Sihoon must have used work as a distraction and four years flew by like that... Maybe Sihoon didn’t sleep around either if he devoted all his attention to work. – Heck, Sihoon didn't even go on his family trip. >< Is the family trip going to happen after Mari comes back to South Korea??

My thoughts on Mari are here -> http://www.mangago.zone/home/mangatopic/3331403/ and my fresh feels last night are here -> http://www.mangago.zone/home/mangatopic/3328775/ I'm so conflicted because I love this story for demonstrating Junyoung and Sihoon’s genuine emotions for each other, but I don't want to view it negatively towards the ending.... :/

I just hope that Sihoon and Junyoung learn to put their stubbornness aside, and cherish each other even more from now on. Please do not spend four years apart like this again. Doctors could take breaks and Junyoung could take a break after his boss comes back from travelling. Spend your time going on vacation and have way more sex! Catch up on each other's lives from these past four years. Talk about the plans for your future TOGETHER!

I don't think I understand Mari very well. In chapter 56, did Mari forgive Junyoung after she decided to not pursue Hyuk when she accused our uke of cheating on Sihoon?? I wish there was more communication between Mari and Junyoung... :/ But maybe Mari and Junyoung communicated a lot throughout these four years?? WHY WAS THERE EVEN A TIME-SKIP?? Did the Lezhin drama ruin the quality or pacing of this precious story?? ╥﹏╥

It was nice of Mari to tell Sihoon in chapter 57 what brand Junyoung likes. It's thanks to her that Sihoon bought a gift that made Junyoung happy. :)) It's important to Junyoung to be financially independent, but it must have felt very sweet to receive that as a gift from someone he loves. <3

In chapter 58, we see that Mari is supportive of Junyoung and Sihoon together, like during the time before she knew about the misunderstanding. I think as someone close to Sihoon and Junyoung, she recognizes that they're stubborn but love each other. I loved her question, "How the hell did both of you get dumped?" Please smack some sense into your brother and best friend, Mari LOL!! They both get hurt and don't say everything that is on their minds... :((

Maybe Junyoung and Sihoon should talk with Mari about their relationship problems, so she could be the mediator LOL.

Hi lovelies, after my fresh feels last night ( http://www.mangago.zone/home/mangatopic/3328775) and thinking about this chapter... I want to express my confusion and if you care to join the discussion, then yay! (●'◡'●)ﾉ

I'm not sure if Junyoung sleeps around LOL. I initially thought that Junyoung does because there was an unknown man in bed with him when he woke up... But Junyoung got a headache from drinking too much, so he probably doesn't remember what happened. The biggest confusion is WHY was Junyoung fully-clothed?? I'm unsure if Junyoung had sex LOL. Maybe that person in bed isn't even Junyoung's sex friend, since Junyoung spoke to the latter formally and didn't even say his name, so maybe Junyoung just brought a stranger home...? I hope this gets clarified later in the story because this is part of Junyoung's characterization and could imply how his lifestyle has been in four years.

Four years ago, Junyoung couldn't even have sex with Hyuk, despite initiating the arrangement. Maybe Junyoung is still the same where he can't have sex with someone he doesn't have romantic feelings for?? Otherwise, another possibility is that maybe Junyoung does have sex with strangers, but he chooses people who remind him of Sihoon.... ╥﹏╥ I think some of you may have been like me; not quite registering that it was someone else at first and confused by who the person in bed was LOL!! XD

I know Junyoung asked Hyuk this chapter if the latter wanted to spend the night together. Hyuk was confused by the sudden question, which indicates that they don't have sex and are not sex friends. After all, Mari did ask Junyoung why he isn't dating Hyuk, and we see that Junyoung can't bring himself to do that when he doesn't have romantic feelings for Hyuk. I still see Junyoung as someone who engages himself romantically when he has romantic feelings for that person. Heck, I still remember in chapter 27, when Junyoung acknowledged to himself regarding Sihoon, "I wanna kiss him. I wanna be touched. I want him to hold me tight. Like two puzzle pieces that just...fit. Until we're so close that we breathe as one... Held together..." I know people could change in four years, but I don't think every aspect changes. I think there is still some part of Junyoung who enters romantic relationships based on raw emotions, like he did with Sihoon despite thinking Sihoon was a married father and Mari's boyfriend.

So, anyway.... I'm confused by the beginning of this chapter. Why did Ji Hye-Kyung show a naked person in bed with Junyoung when our uke was fully-clothed? Was that displayed to say that Junyoung doesn't go all-out and does not receive an abundance of love he's used to from Daddy? Is that done to demonstrate that Junyoung is not content without Sihoon?? I'm confused by that person's question, "Can I call you again?" because does that mean this person contacted Junyoung first LOL?? But Junyoung didn't even look enthusiastic when he replied, "I'll call you," so I don't know if Junyoung knows this person or maybe Junyoung actually doesn't have his number but said that, so the unnamed person could go home :P

I could confidentially claim that Junyoung has been single ever since he and Sihoon broke up. It seems Junyoung has just been focusing on work at the restaurant and is now a manager, so he doesn't make time for a committed relationship. It doesn't seem that Junyoung fell in love with someone else after his relationship with Sihoon. (Again, Junyoung's sex lifestyle is questionable at this point.)

OMG!! IT IS NOW 2:30 AM AND IT ONLY TOOK ME 5 MINUTES TO READ THIS. I HAVE AN EXAM, BUT I NEEDED TO SEE MY BABIES!!

I am not in love with the time-skip LOL. It seemed Junyoung and Sihoon had a very dry breakup. >< I was so shocked to see the guy in bed with Junyoung - at first, I didn't quite register that it was someone else LOL. It seems Junyoung has had no-strings sex, huh?? Hope he does it safely... Although, it makes me a little sad that Junyoung is just living without being content. :/ Doesn't seem the sex brings Junyoung a lot of joy after it's over. He's the manager of the restaurant now, but he's not even smiling when the day is over... - Wait, IS JUNYOUNG SLEEPING WITH MEN WHO REMIND HIM OF SIHOON? OMG, my poor heart ╥﹏╥

Hope Mari will be happy in New York. I'm happy Sihoon drove her to the airport. I'm glad Mari offered to give Junyoung Sihoon's number too. Sadly, Junyoung and Sihoon are resistant to approach each other... :( HONESTLY, BABIES, JUST TALK WITH EACH OTHER!! THERE IS STILL LOVE AFTER FOUR YEARS. YOU BOTH FELT EMPTY WITHOUT EACH OTHER, ADMIT IT!! ┗( T﹏T )┛

I'm now wondering if there would have been a difference if Junyoung confessed to Sihoon what he told us in his monologue: that he would have gone anywhere with Daddy but he was impatient as he felt he needed to fulfill his dreams first...?

I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE MR. KIM SIHOON!! <33 Our lovely man still has his sophisticated aura :))

Goodnight from me and have a lovely day you all!! <33

Was I the only one who was shocked to see Edo sleep around with someone? LOL. I was just SO unprepared for that!! XD It seems it's been a while since Edo met Melvin and Hugo, but whoa...

It's great that meeting Melvin and Hugo influenced Edo's growth as a photographer. We see that Edo has the habit of printing his photos and spreading them out like Hugo showed him. :)) Like we saw when Edo spent time with Melvin and Hugo, his priority is not romance but his career. I appreciate the author for demonstrating that. Edo probably doesn't want to settle down now, which is fine. Edo seems like a young explorer. Maybe he'll find a love that he wants to commit to someday, or maybe he won't... I love that this character was created and shows us a different lifestyle or perspective altogether. Just loves his career and engages in sex without attachments.

'Till this day, I can't confidentially say whether Edo loved Melvin. There was mutual respect as artists and they had a comfortable relationship. Maybe the romantic feelings weren't there. Edo was with Hugo as he was curious to see what drew Melvin to our abused victim, and he grew as an artist... Overall, it seems Edo is the type of character who allows his curiosity to guide him and he has no regrets.

(If we see more sex scenes from Edo, can he bottom next time?? We only saw him bottom once with Melvin x)) )

The beginning of this story foreshadowed the events, omg!! We see Lily alone without Oscar as he wondered if it was possible for Oscar to love him so much... This whole story is a setup for tragedy. What I don't want to happen will probably happen and it'll break my heart anyway... ;------;

CAN SOMEBODY STOP OSCAR??! There should be a new protocol where YOU MUST see the drivers' faces right before they enter their cars!! OMG, if Oscar really races in Lily's place and the unspeakable happens to him on that muddy, rainy road... I will have too many tears to shed ╥﹏╥

I see that Lily has a future ahead of him as a rookie. Like Oscar said, Lily has potential and he's gifted. Oscar does not want Lily to risk himself on the tracks when he's already injured and should be resting. (CAN THE RACE BE CANCELLED ALTOGETHER?? IT WAS RAINING BEFORE!!) I think Lily's words, "We're just doing our best not to regret our present," resonated with Oscar. Oscar knows he won't regret racing in Lily's position but PLEASE!!! OSCAR BABY, Lily would not want you to race on such a risky track either!! （/TДT)/

& was I the only one who had my heart broken when Oscar and Eduardo broke up??! I was not happy with Eduardo not giving Oscar a lot of attention, but damn... This story truly shows that you need to MOVE FORWARD!! Eduardo and Oscar shared a past, without a present.

Eduardo just wanted the best for Oscar, so he didn't want Oscar to stay on their then-racing team just for love... Oscar could understand that now, and that's sadly how he knows he and Eduardo can't stay together... Eduardo advanced in his career and Oscar is now a very well-known racer who utilized his talents. Eduardo is so work-orientated and Oscar won't leave Team Phantom either. There's just nothing more for them. And I feel so sad... I'm so happy for Oscar that he matured and realized it's not good to drag their relationship on anymore, but omg.... Poor Eduardo was crying and that just got me!!! ╥﹏╥ Eduardo did care for Oscar and wanted them to be together.... These two say they're each other's reason for being where they are now, but sadly, life kicks in and the circumstances don't turn your way...

Oscar answered "Maybe" when Eduardo asked if our precious blondie loves Lily. I appreciate Oscar’s answer. :) It's completely valid if Oscar is unsure. I think Oscar's actions speak for themselves though, so I think he does love Lily. When Lily and Oscar have sex, it's not just physical pleasure – they sincerely look at each other and make sure the other party is satisfied. I think when you have an uncertain romance for eight years (Eduardo) and meet someone who's affectionate and warm (Lily)... It's not hard to fall in love. It truly isn't.

Rereading the chapters allowed me to see Oscar's ease and comfort when he's with Lily! Perhaps, Oscar doesn't know when exactly his feelings for Lily changed either. At first, Oscar and Lily just had sex and they were comfortable colleagues (sex friends even). But I think anyone could fall in love with Lily's tenderness. Even when Oscar and Lily fought because Oscar's car bumped into Lily's car/Lily didn't move out of the way, Lily still ran after Oscar and apologized, and the two reconciled. I see what’s different when Oscar is with Eduardo is that they just have sex after a fight, without resolving a single thing, and the cycle gets repeated... I think with Lily, Oscar is 'free.' Oscar realizes that no one should race only to stay with the person they love, and that loving someone includes caring for their future. I think when Oscar considered leaving Team Phantom, he did it for Lily without necessarily telling himself the realization, "Wow! I'm in love with Lily." Love could totally be demonstrated from our decisions or actions, that we may not fully understand or rationalize with ourselves.

Overall, I'm so happy that Oscar and Eduardo talked and ended their cycle. Oscar knows he should no longer wait for Eduardo, and Eduardo knows there's no use in fighting for Oscar again. They stood by each other when the other person was still a rookie, but now they flew faraway from each other... I think Eduardo witnessing Oscar’s potential as a racer may have motivated him while he made cars, so that Oscar could someday be with him again and race in the cars he makes. Meanwhile, Eduardo was the person who encouraged Oscar to continue racing no matter what. If not for Eduardo, I don’t think Oscar would have continued his racing career and eventually meet Lily. x.x How bittersweet… </3 Eduardo and Oscar shared a beautiful love; it’s not easy to encourage someone you love dearly to advance in their career, even if it means they’re not by your side, or let go of someone you love when you know they still love you too and want to be together :’(

Oscar and Lily find so much comfort in each other. Lily has loved Oscar since the beginning and even as a fan, while Oscar was touched by Lily's tenderness and patience. These two totally deserve the stable and peaceful lives they want to share together. But honestly, with their jobs as racers, I'm not sure how that could work.... :/ It's heartbreaking that Oscar has desired an ordinary life for so long (giving up racing to be with his mother or being with Eduardo), and he's so content when he's with Lily, but somehow... He doesn't know if there is a reason for him to retire. Even if Oscar retires, Lily would continue racing; it makes perfect sense for Lily to utilize his talents, like Oscar did.

I LOVE Lily's optimistic lens; that assertion on just living in the moment! Perfectly valid. Not just for racers, but even people who live 'ordinary' lives cannot guarantee what the next day will look like. Racers travel constantly and live with the uncertainty of whether they'll race with the same faces again... Yet, one beauty of this job is seeing new things and people. :) Whatever happens in the future will happen then!

I truly appreciate this story for demonstrating the difficult choices we must make in life. It's SO true that there are times when you pick between your career and your romantic life, or bad timing just occurs. Eduardo has his career established now and wants Oscar by his side, but Oscar has waited for too long (EIGHT YEARS) and won't wait anymore. :/ Oscar finds peace with Lily, but they can't live stable ordinary lives now... Oscar just wants an ordinary life, but whether he chooses Eduardo or Lily… He won’t get that :’(

I hope Eduardo finds new love. I hope Oscar will be okay. I hope Lily will be happy. Maybe the solution for all three characters is to leave the racing world??? LOL. I don't know anymore!! I just want everyone to be content!! ┗( T﹏T )┛

I came back and went over the fight this chapter... It hurts me to see Junyoung cry, and that Sihoon couldn't instantly deny that he does not treat his young lover as a plaything. :( Sihoon loves Junyoung and seemed sad that Junyoung even mentioned that possibility. ┗( T﹏T )┛

Like I mentioned in my last post ( http://www.mangago.zone/home/mangatopic/3305681/), Junyoung and Sihoon just want to stay together so much, and they're struggling with that based on the choices they want to make individually. Communication is so very difficult, and this story demonstrates it. Junyoung and Sihoon just aren't seeing eye-to-eye. Sihoon wants to advance his career with Junyoung by his side, while Junyoung thinks it's okay for him to go to the army now that Sihoon is going to the States. If Sihoon didn't have the offer to go to the States, Junyoung probably would have postponed his military enlistment and stabilized their relationship first... x.x

I think Sihoon wants Junyoung by his side even more, considering how busy Junyoung has been with work and the little amount of time they already spend together, despite living under the same roof. :/ Sihoon believes that going to the States together is a way for them to be together and even strengthen their relationship. So, to hear Junyoung use Sihoon's training program as a way for him to go to the army now... I think Sihoon was hurt by that. It doesn't necessarily feel (to Sihoon) that Junyoung prioritizes spending time together like our seme does. Even though Junyoung did say he considered postponing his military enlistment, the fact still stands that Junyoung hasn't and most likely won't now that Daddy is going to the States. I can see how people could feel abandoned when a loved one goes to the army... ╥﹏╥

Their choices are making them wonder what's the point in staying together. If Junyoung and Sihoon spend time apart, distance may make the heart grow fonder. I still have faith in the couple. If they managed to get together after the misunderstanding, I can't imagine that this would be the end to their relationship completely.

I don't want to pick sides. Deep down, both Junyoung and Sihoon don't want to be apart. They both want to pursue their dreams with the other party by their side.

I see where Sihoon is coming from when he suggested that Junyoung could try to do something in the States. Maybe Junyoung could study there and learn English along the way. Going to the States with Sihoon would solidify even more that they're in a serious relationship (our babies could get married there too (▰˘◡˘▰)). Although it appears that Sihoon is selfish for 'treating Junyoung as an accessory,' it's not like he envisioned Junyoung to be at home waiting for him 24/7. I'm happy Sihoon is taking his job seriously too by accepting his professor's offer. Back in chapter 18, Sihoon left a meeting early before the professor came, just to go home and see Junyoung. It wouldn't be wise if Sihoon continued to live his life passively, and I think being with Junyoung and seeing Junyoung's passion for his future restaurant inspired Sihoon to look forward too. :)

I mentioned this in my last chapter thread too... About Sihoon spending time in the States while Junyoung spends time in the military. I think it's perfect for Junyoung to be in the military, knowing that Sihoon won't be lonely at home, but he'll be busy pursuing his future seriously. It's true that if not now, Junyoung and Sihoon would need to be apart anyway because of Junyoung's military service... I do like Junyoung's honesty when he revealed that he considered postponing his military enlistment because of their relationship.

Rather than fighting with each other, I see that Junyoung and Sihoon are facing the same problem: they hate being apart. They're upset that life has thrown opportunities or obstacles at them, which means they need to be apart. They love each other since they’re considering what the other person could be doing, through the decisions they're about to make (Sihoon wants Junyoung to go with him to the States, while Junyoung thinks Sihoon could be in the States while he completes his military service). I think regardless if Sihoon leaves to the States alone and Junyoung goes to the army, or Junyoung goes to the army while Sihoon stays at home in South Korea... They truly just don't want to be apart.

I appreciate Ji Hye-Kyung for demonstrating this challenge in Junyoung and Sihoon's relationship. It's true that sometimes in life, you want to stay with someone so much, but you need to consider your future too. I'm happy Sihoon and Junyoung aren't necessarily sacrificing their ambitions for each other. It's important to prioritize yourself and to be mindful of your relationship, which both parties are trying to do.

Maybe it's difficult for Junyoung and Sihoon to find a solution that makes both parties happy because of the different stages in their lives. Junyoung just found his passion to open a future restaurant and wants to gain more experience at his job and receive his boss's guidance, while Sihoon wants to take his career seriously by advancing it in the States. Both parties aren’t wrong, and I think bad timing just stepped into their relationship.

Before things get intense, I want to spazz over the fluff and be thankful this story exists while I am alive. <33

I BURST OUT LAUGHING when Hyuk said, "I can't stand it!" and Junyoung asked casually, "What can't you stand?" (Damn, that attitude reminds me of Daddy too(≧∀≦)), and then BOOM, "My broken heart!" HAHA, don't worry Hyuk! You'll find yourself a lovely person someday. I'm so glad Hyuk and Junyoung could be friends, and that Hyuk is genuinely happy that Junyoung is in a stable place with Sihoon. :))

That was the CUTEST thing EVER when Junyoung complained, "It's that I don't want to. How am I supposed to go two years without him?" GO HOME AND RUN INTO DADDY'S ARMS, AND TELL HIM THIS, PLEASE!! ;--------; I agree with Hyuk's perspective on getting the army over with now, so it's not hovering over your head in the future... It would be more difficult to go the army later where you would probably have more responsibilities, and even physically harder. I lol-ed when Junyoung complained about why the North and South haven't made peace yet. xDD Baby, we're sorry... You're in a beautiful relationship with Daddy and don't want to be separated. But two years goes by quickly!!

Now, the beginning of the chapter... Daddy, that did sound ridiculous when you asked Junyoung, "You're with me for my body, aren't you?" Oh Daddy xDD It was cute when Junyoung and Sihoon casually commented on Sihoon's childish side. Love that they kissed so naturally. Junyoung playing around with Sihoon was just PEJDO IFL PESD F [S FS It was funny when Junyoung kept rubbing and Sihoon just gave a stare HAHA.

I like that Sihoon and Junyoung are so open to talking!! Junyoung encouraged Sihoon to talk but Sihoon didn't feel like it anymore, which is perfectly fine. These two are so patient, I love it! I love that Sihoon was honest, "You're too busy. Why don't you ever rest? There's so much I want to do with you." NO PRESSURE, JUST HONESTY, I LOVE IT!! <3 Junyoung's "Me too" solidified their mutual feels for each other(▰˘◡˘▰)

Now... the less happy stuff....
Since Mari wasn't persistent on pursuing Hyuk, does that mean she's done with her revenge? Will she play a significant role later?

And Daddy got an offer to experience a training program in the US... This may be a great opportunity for him. At least he won't just be lounging around at home. If Junyoung spends time in the army and Sihoon spends time in the States, distance could truly make the heart grow fonder. I have faith in my cute and dorky couple ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~

I imagined something today: if Christoph's memories of Ryan get removed, he could still touch his forehead and blush. Christoph could still remember the warm sensation he received when Ryan kissed his forehead, but he would never remember the tender man who gave him that warmth... I think even if your mind forgets an event or even a person, your body could still remember. It just breaks my heart to picture that: a Christoph touching his forehead and feeling safe and secure from the action (Ryan's kiss to his forehead), but looking around and never being able to find the person who did it... :( You could erase people’s memories, but you can’t erase their feelings.

^ This is one reason why part of me does not want Christoph to forget Ryan. Even though Ryan wants Christoph to start a new life, which would be difficult right now due to Christoph's dependence on Ryan, I feel that removing Ryan from Christoph's memories may not be an ultimate solution... Forgetting Ryan may be the best that could be done for Christoph's sake, but it won't be perfect. It just breaks my heart to imagine a lost and even a confused Christoph, who has to start to build his own life when he was never given the autonomy before. Christoph doesn’t know how to live for himself yet, so it feels like he would be abandoned if he forgets Ryan. :’(

I made a post yesterday ( http://www.mangago.zone/home/mangatopic/3261072/), where I released my feelings about Ryan and his relations with Sihan, Cecilia, Lucaon, and Christoph. I didn't think my sadness for Ryan would carry on with me the next day... ┗( T﹏T )┛

I have a soft spot for guardians like Ryan. Ryan may not be a saint, since he didn't turn Sihan into a royal blood because he cared for Sihan's future, and he wasn't concerned about Kyon's well-being either when he wanted Kyon to leave Lucaon. However, I just can't stand the thought of losing Ryan because of how caring he is and all that he's done for the people who are dear to him.

Ryan treated Sihan as his son and guided Sihan in the world of royal bloods. Ryan and Cecilia have such a deep friendship, which we could see from the solid and affectionate embrace he gave her at the end of chapter 60 (Ryan is SO grateful to Cecilia throughout the centuries) + they trust each other very much since they help each other when there's trouble and they don't suspect each other's intentions. Ryan cares so much for Lucaon and he's patient, considering that he ran to the Selvior family's mansion and rescued Lucaon, and was accepting of Lucaon even after our seme was quite bluntly...rude.

But OMG...even though Ryan suspected Christoph, he didn't tell Cecilia. I believe that was Ryan's way of protecting Christoph. Ryan continued to treat Christoph with so much care and gentleness, which confused Christoph so much. Christoph couldn't understand why Ryan was so tender to our younger boy. Maybe Ryan sees similarities between Beth and Christoph when he looks at Christoph, but I think Ryan had a feeling Christoph did not have ill will (and he was right), so he did his best in protecting Christoph in his own way. The fact that Ryan doesn't want Christoph to know that our young mixed-blood murdered the culprit who could have cured Ryan, shows that Ryan loves Christoph so much. If Christoph forgets Ryan, then Christoph is less likely to know that he murdered the person who could have cured the man he wants to stay with... x.x And Ryan isn't even blaming Christoph, which gets me even more emotional!!

Based on chapter 61, I see that Ryan is a compassionate human being. Beth did say that Ryan always showed kindness to servants, and we did see a flashback of Ryan offering a handkerchief to a servant who was bleeding. Ryan claims he just doesn't like to exclude people. But I think that’s not the only reason why. When Ryan discovered Beth leaving with her organization and then learned that they were creating the VS solution, he could have stopped her (at least when he caught her leaving) or prevented any further actions from her somehow. Maybe the VS solution would not be as advanced if Ryan exposed Beth, like if he were to tell Cecilia. Yet, I get the feeling that Ryan stayed quiet... Maybe Ryan wanted to protect Beth, so he didn't tell Cecilia about Beth creating the VS solution.

Like the way Ryan treats Christoph, Ryan has moments when he remains silent to protect people. And I'm heartbroken again... If Beth was part of a group of servants who created the VS solution, that means Beth contributed to harming her brother.... :(( Basically, Beth caused Ryan’s foreseeable death by creating the VS solution and Christoph destroyed Ryan’s cure when Christoph killed the culprit. The people Ryan cares for are the same people who harmed him. ┗( T﹏T )┛

But even now, instead of blaming Beth (who's probably dead right now) or even Christoph, Ryan tries to protect these people and is accepting of his foreseeable death. It bothers me so much when characters who look out for others must meet their end, and you feel like there's nothing you could do about it. ╥﹏╥

What could the characters do to save Ryan??? We managed to save Lucaon when Christoph purified Lucaon’s core, which I didn’t expect to happen. So, maybe there is a medication or a reversal to the VS solution somewhere??? I’m worried about staying hopeful in case Ryan does die, which would make me even sadder. :’( I may literally shed tears if Ryan dies, and I'm not prepared for that yet. ┗( T﹏T )┛ ╥﹏╥