Meru21 July 23, 2020 5:26 am

When Achi said "I want to become one with you," to Mari, I was like, "uh... that's physically impossible." Totally forgot Mari had a dick for a minute. Lol.

Meru21 July 19, 2020 11:03 am

Looks like my prediction was right on the money. I didn't expect the twin thing, and I'm curious as to why Kister knows Jonathan but Jonathan doesn't know Kister.
You know, I like being able to predict things, but at the same time I don't like it. It's no fun watching a movie you figure out in 15 minutes. Books and manga take me a little longer, but even so, it makes a lot of stories seem generic. This is really well done, though, so even though I was right about the plot, it's very entertaining to watch it unfold.

    snowbelvz July 19, 2020 10:39 pm

    U should watch playthroughs of games, as there are very story based games that are really clever, and u wont be able to figure them out easily. My favourate is Until Dawn and The last of us both gory by the way.

    Meru21 July 19, 2020 11:29 pm
    U should watch playthroughs of games, as there are very story based games that are really clever, and u wont be able to figure them out easily. My favourate is Until Dawn and The last of us both gory by the way... snowbelvz

    I played the last of us. The ending threw me for a loop for sure, but it was great. I watch some playthrough, but I figure those out too a lot of the time. If I'm playing, I'm such a completist that it takes me forever to play through something and by that time, I've had to much time to think of different scenarios and figure it all out. Lol. I have come across a few games that are great and I've heard great things about Until Dawn. I'll take a look for sure! I think Neir was the most unpredictable for me. I mean, I knew what was going to happen but how and why was crazy

    snowbelvz July 20, 2020 9:56 pm

    I'll have a look at Neir and until dawn is just my favourate game ever since its one of the few games that plays with your mind and morals like what would you do and why in this situation, it just gets the adrenaline goin and by the end leaves you numb. And also the last of us 2 just came out u should check that out too

    Meru21 July 21, 2020 12:44 am
    I'll have a look at Neir and until dawn is just my favourate game ever since its one of the few games that plays with your mind and morals like what would you do and why in this situation, it just gets the adre... snowbelvz

    I will, thanks for the rec!

Meru21 July 14, 2020 9:19 pm

I've said before, when the photographer first came into the picture that I was kinda for him but more so for Joowon. My thoughts are still the same now after the breakup. And it's not because I feel sorry for them. It's because haesoo is forcing himself with the photographer. People say that his relationship with Joowon is toxic, but it really isn't. Joowon is a guy who cant handle his jealousy well but he gave Haesoo a lot of freedom and did his best to give him what he wanted while still trying to keep him by his side. Haesoo is scared of his mother's rejection. She and Joowons father are the toxic people in this. Because his mother won't accept him, Haesoo has tried to kill his feelings for Joowon. He's still trying by taking on that photographer. There's just nothing there, though. I think the story is going to go one of 3 ways; haesoo is going to see/hear how much Joowon is hurt by their breakup bu quitting acting and go looking for him if he doesn't show up to the exhibition. Joowon is going to show up to the exhibition, either get really angry out of hurt or really sad and leave (dunno why but I have the feeling he's going to disappear for a while). Or circumstances are going to lead Haesoo to not choose either, which is the more realistic outcome. Any way it falls, the exhibition is going to hurt....

    wirt July 14, 2020 9:49 pm

    Yes, I agree with you for the most part. I think Joowon was trying to keep his relationship with Haesoo but could not be open or even make it official between them because he could not give Haesoo the relationship he wanted, which is why Joowon told Haesoo not to fall in love with him.
    In order to appease his father Joowon must be successful, where his relationship with H would be seen as a hinderance. J also knew he couldn't go against H's mom. So he settled for the twisted, half hearted relationship they had because it meant that he was still able to be with H and J felt that H would never leave him. The relationship between J x H is only half of a true relationship, the love was there but it did not receive the proper attention and open expression it needed. H sought what was missing in his relationship with J in other people but it never worked because again it was only half of a relationship -- there was no love.
    H wants an obsessive, romantic, love, where they are able to express themselves openly. Over the years H put up with the half hearted relationship with J because he does love J, but there is only so much he can take. Frustration with J is ultimately what lead to their breakup, and H realizing J couldn't give him what he wanted.
    The problem H has now is T is offering that obsessive, open love, but it feels empty for H because he doesn't love T.
    T and J are two halves of a whole. J is the love while T is the relationship type H wants. I think H will come to realize there is no point in having a relationship unless it is with the person he loves cuz most of all what H craves is true love (cheesy I know). I think this story will reach its climax at the exhibition and J will finally show that he is willing to risk it all for H and sacrifice himself in some way to protect H (cuz remember we still have to deal with Leo and the crazy ex) which will lead to H realizing J can now give him both love and a relationship. but tf do I know I've been wrong so many times, im rambled on enough xx

    wirt July 14, 2020 10:43 pm
    This reply will be showed after approved! Anonymous

    I've read the story

    Meru21 July 14, 2020 11:17 pm

    Wirt, I agree. Haesoo loves Joowon, but is scared to admit it because he's afraid of the consequences. I know that type. I WAS that type. I did the exact same thing and ran away. I had a great guy but was scared to fall in love and find "the one" because I watched my mom lose hers and it not only messed her up it made her mess us kids up too. I broke it off with my guy, using the excuse that he was too emotionally immature (which he was, dont get me wrong) where relationships are concerned and we were hurting each other a lot. I completely cut ties and we had a year where we were apart where I dated an old high school friend and had a pretty bad medical scare where I almost died. The guy broke up with me the day after xmas over fb and I cant say I wasn't upset, but I was relieved too. It gave me the opportunity to reach back out to my one. He was kind enough and loved me enough to give it a real shot. No running this time. We both had changed and grown and now we're going strong for 7 years. Being scared can make you for a lot of stupid things or just things to make you feel safe, because settling seems less scary than reaching out for what you really want and getting rejected. So I empathize a lot with Haesoo. I sincerely hope that Joowon fights for him and Haesoo has enough courage to take the hand that's offered.

    wirt July 15, 2020 2:26 am
    Wirt, I agree. Haesoo loves Joowon, but is scared to admit it because he's afraid of the consequences. I know that type. I WAS that type. I did the exact same thing and ran away. I had a great guy but was scare... Meru21

    couldn't agree more! :)

    Hye July 15, 2020 5:44 am

    Everyone acknowledges Haesoo loves Joowon and it is mentioned several times in the story. its not something you have to read into, its literally apart of the plot lol hell its why Taku first took interest in Haesoo. The whole 2nd part of this story is about heartbreak and losing love (which is the theme of Taku's exhibition and why he chose Haesoo). If you don't see it after reading it then idk what to tell you man like its so central to the plot ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    Hye July 15, 2020 6:01 am
    This reply will be showed after approved! Anonymous

    they literally spelled it out, what assume lmao???

    whatever man, you do you lol

    Meru21 July 15, 2020 10:59 am
    This reply will be showed after approved! Anonymous

    I can understand why you would misconstrue it as habit, but that's became a moot point when Haesoo dumped Joowon. Even IF he goes back to Joowon, both Haesoo and Hoowon have changed because of this. Haesoo is delving more into himself, trying to figure out what he feels overall. He hasn't figured that out yet, but even through his lack of understanding it's clear that he loves Joowon. Sometimes people dont need a lot of time to change. An event can change a person, losing someone for a period of time (even a short one) can really make you understand how much they mean to you, how you need to change and what you're willing to do and give up to keep that person from leaving again. When they do get back together, it will be with more understanding and communication because, overall,that's what their relationship was missing from the start. I say that their relationship isn't toxic, because there isn't enough damage being done to either to warrant that level of unhealthiness. Have they hurt one another? Yes. But they haven't caused trauma. (Well, Haesoo may have traumatized Joowon with the breakup, but that's what's called a "necessary trauma" that's used either as shock therapy or will cause the person to grow.) Haesoo mother has caused trauma, joowons father has caused trauma. Lasting trauma. That's what makes them toxic. A relationship can leaves scars, but even when they do that, most dont traumatize. The author is clearly trying to show Haesoos love for Joowon as Haesoo struggles to come to terms with it himself. When T is photographing him and Haesoo has that jarring quick image of Joowon flash through his mind is a perfect example. Love isn't always about butterflies and cute moments. In fact, lasting love rarely has butterflies. Its work. Sometimes its hard sometimes it's easy, but it IS work. His feelings could change, given time, but I dont think they would ever turn towards T. Haesoo's using him as rebound, because the emotion that drives him is loneliness. He doesn't want to be alone, hes afraid of being alone, but hes also afraid of his feelings. Where does that leave him? Either he chooses someone safe that he doesn't have to think about, but is left to figure out his own inner workings, or he accepts the feelings Joowon is obviously throwing at him and that he has himself and possibly lose his family. Hes a coward. He's currently choosing the easy way out but he's going to figure out that that's wrong too. Joowon and Haesoo need time away, for sure, but only enough to come to terms with the demons they're fighting. That could be weeks, a year, two, who knows? Its different for everyone. I think Joowons feelings were infatuation at first but grew into love. I think Haesoo was dragged along, yes, thrown off by Joowons pace, and then the fear of disapproval via his mother made him shut down emotionally. If it's not real, if he can convince himself it's not real (not love) then he can convince his mother too and it can end whenever and it won't hurt. That was probably his thought process.

    Meru21 July 15, 2020 10:17 pm
    This reply will be showed after approved! Anonymous

    As someone who is very close to finishing a degree in psychology, I'm telling you flat out that the relationship between joowon and Haesoo does not meet any level to be considered toxic. I tried to explain it in a way to make you understand by using the parents as a comparison so I didn't have to bring my education into this and possibly make you feel bad, but you absolutely are misunderstanding their relationship and emotions. Although I do agree that it would be healthier all around if no one got together, Joowon and Haesoo can make it work with communication and understanding of both themselves and each other, which is something they haven't done yet. But most relationships fail because of that very thing.
    With a rebound, it doesn't matter who initiated what, it's still a rebound. It's a relationship that's based off of one or both parties coming out of a long-term or deeply effecting relationship and then jumping into another before they have time to heal from the last. You cant focus on the new one because the old one is in the forefront of your mind even if you dont want it to be and you're unconsciously comparing everything most of the time.
    The flash does not symbolize confusion. His flash was trigger by what Taku said. It showed his true thoughts about the question or subject at hand. That's why psychiatrists do the flash cards and say "tell me the first thing that comes to mind" and dont let you pause to think. If they did, you might change your answer. Things like this tell a lot about a person's logic, emotional well-being and mental health. Haesoo saw Joowon when Taku told him to imagine himself having sex with someone he loved but he was never going to see him again. Even of Haesoo brushes it off and tries to ignore it, the fact is that those are his real feelings because it was an involuntary picture that popped into his head which is why the author made it blurry. Haesoo didn't want to examine the image too closely but he was still effected by it, which showed on his face. Even looking at the rest of the relationship, this is enough to tell where Haesoo's heart is at the moment.
    Haesoo is trying to go through the phases of a breakup as quickly as possible so that he can be all right being on his own, but he's warring with himself because you cant force yourself to do something like that. This is why he is making the decisions hes making and saying the things he's saying. He is trying to convince himself that hes okay, that he can be fine but he isn't allowing himself time to cope with the loss. Joowon was a big part of his life and a breakup is very akin to a death, you go through the same emotional pattern. Haesoo isn't allowing himself to do that and is using Taku as a distraction. This is why Taku is a rebound and why Haesoo is doing what he's doing. He's desperate to not be lonely but at the same time be okay to be alone. It's a hard controversy to deal with and it all stems from his mother's rejection of him, which is why she is toxic, not Joowon. If they had been allowed to be together as kids, the relationship may have fizzled out naturally but having to hide it, them suppressing their feelings made it carry into adulthood and turned it more serious.

    Meru21 July 15, 2020 10:20 pm
    This reply will be showed after approved! Anonymous

    With all of that said, the author is doing a great job portraying all of this. The fact that you're not grasping it is on you. Even without my psych background, I started off majoring in Lit. Just using basic analysis of story writing you can see all of this.

    Hye July 16, 2020 2:40 am

    @Meru21 just ignore them, like at this point the only reason they commented in the first place was to try and preach their version of the story and tell you and me why we are wrong for thinking like we do. If they truly thought that people were free to have their own view and interpretation of the story then they wouldn't have commented in the first place.

    Meru21 July 16, 2020 7:31 am
    @Meru21 just ignore them, like at this point the only reason they commented in the first place was to try and preach their version of the story and tell you and me why we are wrong for thinking like we do. If t... Hye

    He's/she's obviously the type where they think that if they study a little bit of a subject they know all of the subject. That's a really narrow and ignorant way to live life. The fact that they cannot grasp what the author is obviously trying to portray is also very narrow minded. Its still a bit of a surprise when I run into people like this. He/she won't even listen to someone who is very close to having their degree in psych and minored in literature/creative writing. So strange.

    Hye July 16, 2020 4:05 pm
    He's/she's obviously the type where they think that if they study a little bit of a subject they know all of the subject. That's a really narrow and ignorant way to live life. The fact that they cannot grasp wh... Meru21

    its cuz if the facts don't support their view then the facts must be wrong lol

Meru21 June 27, 2020 10:47 am

I couldnt do it. I'm pretty polite, especially to my in laws. Hell, they took me in from an abusive household, so I'm as grateful as a person can be. We have our differences, though--different cultures, different backgrounds, religious preferences and race. Thankfully, my mother in law is pretty much my best friend and the best mom I've ever had. Even with all the love and respect I have for her, her family and my fiance, I put my foot down about the wedding. I would have hated to argue about it (she's very understanding and wants it a certain way but she gets that her beliefs and mine are different), but I wouldn't be able to smile and nod and have someone tell me how I'm going to have MY wedding. I only get one. Only son or not, it's our day and our opinion is the only one that matters in the end. I'm also not the type that keeps shit to myself. If I even think that someone or something could cause a misunderstanding between my fiance and I, its discussed immediately. I even tell him about sexy dreams I have of other people. Lol. I get that people get scared of the reaction they might get, but it's always worse to hold that crap in. If you get into a compromising situation because of it, that's another secret or lie you have to keep. It always blows up worse too. Best to be open and honest about everything.

Meru21 June 2, 2020 7:03 am

So.... many of you seem to have not read (or forgotten) that the author's/artist's excerpt in between season 1 & 2 states that the novel ends with River being with Khoal, but that this was an adaptation with a different end, supposedly exploring his relationship with Hiel. Of course, I'm sure Khoal will try (and probably succeed) to redeem himself, but I hope, like all of you that River ends up with Hiel.

    noiko990 June 2, 2020 7:36 am

    Noooo I hate that bitch (Khoal)so much tho if river doesn’t end up with hiel imma...actually idk wut I would do but it makes me so mad to think about river forgiving khoal

    Meru21 June 2, 2020 8:53 am
    Noooo I hate that bitch (Khoal)so much tho if river doesn’t end up with hiel imma...actually idk wut I would do but it makes me so mad to think about river forgiving khoal noiko990

    That's not what I said at all. Lol. I SAID that this is supposed to be a story of Hiel and River's relationship. Khoal might do some form of redemption, but that doesn't mean that in order to do that, he'll end up with River. As a writer myself, there are many possibilities. Honestly, considering he let River be sacrificed for his lover, Khoal will probably sacrifice himself for either Hiel or River so they can be together. Because karma loops are common in stories. And wouldn't that just make us cry?? ;)

    Sai June 2, 2020 11:39 am
    That's not what I said at all. Lol. I SAID that this is supposed to be a story of Hiel and River's relationship. Khoal might do some form of redemption, but that doesn't mean that in order to do that, he'll end... Meru21

    So what're you saying is that in the novel he (River) ended up with Khaol but in the manhwa version the probability of his ending with Khaol is still higher than ending up with Heil but nonetheless since the ending is unpredictable there's also a chance that he doesn't up with Heil?

    Sai June 2, 2020 11:40 am
    That's not what I said at all. Lol. I SAID that this is supposed to be a story of Hiel and River's relationship. Khoal might do some form of redemption, but that doesn't mean that in order to do that, he'll end... Meru21

    Sorry in the last sentence I meant that "he DOES end up with Heil"

    Meru21 June 2, 2020 7:39 pm
    Sorry in the last sentence I meant that "he DOES end up with Heil" Sai

    No. The probability of him ending up with Hiel is almost 100%, because (as far as I'm aware) the manwha is supposed to be an exploration of "what if he ended up with Hiel" and not Khoal. The excerpt says that the manwha is more the artist's adaptation of the story when season 2 begins, while season 1 stays close (if not sports on) to the novel.

    mangafetishh June 2, 2020 7:49 pm

    If he ends up with khaol again imma gonna curse the author(╯°Д °)╯╧╧

    Meru21 June 2, 2020 7:58 pm
    If he ends up with khaol again imma gonna curse the author(╯°Д °)╯╧╧ mangafetishh

    Hahaha. I'm going to be sorely disappointed too. Especially after that excerpt gave me so much hope

    mangafetishh June 2, 2020 8:02 pm
    Hahaha. I'm going to be sorely disappointed too. Especially after that excerpt gave me so much hope Meru21

    (⌒▽⌒)

    Sara June 3, 2020 5:40 pm
    No. The probability of him ending up with Hiel is almost 100%, because (as far as I'm aware) the manwha is supposed to be an exploration of "what if he ended up with Hiel" and not Khoal. The excerpt says that t... Meru21

    The novel was never actually completed, cause the author didn't like what she wrote, so we don't know if River ended up with Khaol, tho their relationship before the novel stopped uploading was really bad if I remember correctly. Anyways, this could still go both ways, tho I hope River will end up with Heil, cause the author didn't like the story with Khaol as the ML(hoping this is like a twist where Khaol is the ML at first, but Heil comes as the real ML in the end, it would also show that you don't need to be bound to one person for your whole life*especially if that person is toxic like Khaol* like in a lot of other stories of this type.

Meru21 May 23, 2020 9:16 am

I really HATE it when uploaders add pages into the chapters or distracting dialogue or pictures (I get their watermarks, although, technically speaking they have no legal right to the page, translated or not so it doesn't make sense to watermark it except for tracking). I'll be the first one to read them AFTER the chapter is over, when it's not killing the mood of the story or when I care about someone else's opinion. In the middle of it, though? No thanks. Completely kills the immersion when reading. It would be just as distracting and annoying for a novelist to do, so why does anyone think it's appropriate here? I'll never understand it, but I wish it would stop. I'm not saying that it's not funny (I don't understand the jojo reference, because I didn't watch that and never will) because it is, but make a note at the end of the manga, because otherwise it just pisses me off and ruins the whole damn thing.

    KRDO May 23, 2020 9:24 am

    I can understand your viewpoint on this, but it could've been worded more with more constructively. If you don't like it, do the work yourself.

    HADIFER May 23, 2020 5:39 pm

    I don’t give a fuck it it pisses anyone off and ruins their whole experience. I did what I did and I’m not reuploading shit again. I’ll mention this here again. As you’ve noticed all of my memes are on the last page. I got banned from imgur and used imgbox and spent 2 damn days uploading chapters after chapters just to get the right order because you cannot rearrange it there and 99% it gets jumbled. So this is the last album I have uploaded because I’m tired and just said fuck it. It matches the page before anyway. Ciao

    Meru21 May 23, 2020 7:24 pm

    If I had the time, I would do them myself like I used to. However, I do not. I work and have a family. That doesn't grant a lot of free time for things like this. It's an opinion, take it or leave it. I was venting because it's happening more often and it's unprofessional and it's really frustrating to see that behavior continuing from some otherwise good uploaders. That's all.

    HADIFER May 23, 2020 7:46 pm

    Lol I work in a hospital and I have a family as well. I do this in my free time. I would’ve been fine if you just pointed it and I would’ve explained why it’s like that but to scream HATE lol. Fuck that negatively What do you mean by it’s happening more often? Me or other uploaders?

    HADIFER May 23, 2020 8:29 pm

    Alright I don’t wanna argue about this anymore. I’ll make a new imgur to make the uploads better

    D_OKaisoo May 23, 2020 9:06 pm
    Alright I don’t wanna argue about this anymore. I’ll make a new imgur to make the uploads better HADIFER

    No shade to the og commenter, but you really don't need to mind criticism like that too much. At the end of the day we're reading this kinda semi legally online and you did all the work of uploading and translating(?) this, so you can add some memes. And with everything, there are ppl who will like it any ppl who will hate it. And this is a funny manga anyways, so it's not really too distracting. Thanks for the uploads

    Meru21 May 24, 2020 2:17 am

    "Hate" might be too strong a word. Intense dislike is probably more appropriate,but in the moment, I sure as shit hated it. My intense dislike is very close to hate, most assuredly, but it's still there. Does it mean I dislikr you as a person? Nope. I don't know you. It also is not disregarding any hard work you put into this. I know it's hard work. I don't like BTS, but I sure as hell respect their efforts. So don't take it as a personal attack, because that's not what it is. Just me stating an opinion that obviously a kot of people don't share. [Side note: Thanks for your hard work at the hospitals lately!] Our circumstances are different, I'm sure.I'm not saying having a family to take care of means you're busier than someone who doesn't have one, but it's just not something I can worm into any schedule right now. There are other factors, but no one needs my life story. Lol. Nah, not just you, Hadifier. Seems to be happening a lot more with other uploaders that are newer (and I'm guessing younger) and such. I actually really enjoy your uploads more than a lot of other translators because they're clean and you normally don't add distracting stuff in the middle. This last chapter you did. It was disappointing, cause you normally leave that to the end and I like that stuff at the end. Just not in the middle. But I'm just one person, not a mass majority. Also, I don't know how to italisize letters via mobile, so I capatalized instead. ╮(╯▽╰)╭

    HADIFER May 24, 2020 3:06 am
    "Hate" might be too strong a word. Intense dislike is probably more appropriate,but in the moment, I sure as shit hated it. My intense dislike is very close to hate, most assuredly, but it's still there. Does i... Meru21

    Alright all good and thank you. I’ll make it so the reading experience doesn’t get disturbed or something. I think I reacted negatively earlier because it was morning and I didn’t get to make my coffee because I was late

    Meru21 May 24, 2020 3:41 am
    Alright all good and thank you. I’ll make it so the reading experience doesn’t get disturbed or something. I think I reacted negatively earlier because it was morning and I didn’t get to make my coffee b... HADIFER

    I completely understand. Coffee can get a person going for sure. Lol. My insomnia has come back so when I wrote it originally it was full of upset, for sure. Guess it's always better to take a step back before saying something. But hey! You're doing a great job, regardless of what I think about the jojo meme, and I respect what you do a lot, so don't forget that!

    KRDO May 24, 2020 10:59 am

    Note to self: Don't drink get hooked on coffee

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