I've learned not to question anything and go with the flow
I don't understand the Sasya hate. We have a huge plot hole where, after the train station scene, we didn't get to see what happened, nor did we get the Sasya pov. Everything was explained or seen through the eyes of Julian, and right after that, we only got the point of view of Karel. I mean, are we even sure that Sasya knew what he was doing? I mean, he was an alcoholic, and he was on drugs. I said that in my other comment; apparently they spent years together. All this victim-blaming and shame-shaming disgusts me. Yes, Sasya was with an old man trying to get into a party, but we never actually saw him sleep with anybody, and Sasya said himself that he never sold his body, so why is everybody blocking off pieces and bits of information that we got from Sasya? I hear almost everybody talking about why he is holding on to him and trying to get back together with him. Yall do realize that Sasya didn't develop feelings until they started living together, but when Karel was doing the exact same thing Sasya is doing now at the beginning of the story, y'all wanted to say he should find someone else, but when Sasya does it, it's embarrassing and disgusting. Before that, Sasya had never had the time or the space to think about his feelings for real, and honestly, you can't really blame anyone but Karel himself because he knew that Sasya didn't love him yet forced him to stay in a relationship that he knew Sasya was holding on to to save himself, not because he loved him. And now Karel wants to act brand new when this situation is what he created.
Honestly I kinda get both sides of this story
Sasya was mentally unstable and not okay to be in a relationship while in the early chapters and honestly I feel like Karel was kinda pushing it on and trying to hold on to the good parts of Sasya and completely loving him blindly
But it was fucked up watching him go through the denial stages of grief after sasya left him
But like now in the present moments I kinda feel like Sasya isn’t really aware of the grief he went through to be come like that and he’s now trying to force himself onto him
Sasya is allowed to cry and feel regretful. Karel isn't perfect either. Sasya was very unstable when he met Karel, and after Sasya left, Karel tracked him down. Karel's love is a lot closer to obsession and is kind of toxic. He doesn't really care about what Sasya wants. He just wants Sasya to stay with him no matter what condition he is in, and Sasya only stayed to protect himself. Sasya did love Karel but was scared because he was made to believe that Karel's love was conditional and he'd be forgotten, and Karel knew Sasya didn't love him but kept living out his fantasy while Sasya was slowly destroying himself. Tell me how Sasya was supposed to accept Karels feelings when he didn't even know him well and couldn't really communicate with him. Not to mention Sasya has valid trust issues, trauma, and depression due to the people he trusted sexually assaulting him.