When life gives you lemons, get the seeds and plant cause quarantine be depleting all our resources so we gotta make a garden at home. (when will the com sec here be back am dying to read interaction of readers after a fresh upload)
If you came here cause I look very unwell in my life updates, uhh, that's true but ya know who isn't unwell nowadays. I just try and write about my life cause in writing it down it feels like I really did something, productive(?) Idk isn't it nice to look back on how you were in the past? I have fun reading my shit posts and comments. Especially my journal, I do a lot of dumb thinking so it's pretty funny lol. You should, too. No one will know you anyway. It's not like people are gonna be as invested in your life story as you are. So, yeah write it here. Write it anywhere.
Leave a little bit of yourself in anywhere you are interested in. I do and I find it really fun.
So yeah, I'm fine even if I'm not, I will be. I'm positive like that. Clouds don't hold rains for that long.
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I'll be gone for a little while to change my life. Char.
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I'm back and my life did change only because I am taking care of puppies. I've become a mom now. Never thought I'd be this dedicated, honestly.
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Are we finally getting the comment section back one of these days? I don't see that yellow reminder anymore.
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Honestly, I need to start writing again in my journal cause if somebody I know finds me because of my life updates, I will pass away.
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We can comment againnnn! Honestly, I am not just starting to ease myself to reading comments and commenting again.. it feels kinda weird and out there now. I'll get used to it. In time.
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I'll be gone again to fix my life. I should write a life update. Hmm. Let's see. 18/10
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everything’s been weird as fuck please let me be in peace huhuhuhuhu 20/10
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I guess I wanted to stay for a bit cause living life beyond this is scary and unknown. I’ve always been in comfort, well, for the most part. There’s not so much hardship I guess. I would say the comfort trumps it all. But that’s not realistic even though I want it to be. I’m gonna need to be out there cause there’s no one who’ll save me.
There’s only myself BUT luckily, it’s ALSO just myself I have to save. 31/10
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I wish I can think of other options. I wish things were different. It’s not though so make sure if it’s gonna be anything make it HIT THE SKIES OR DOWN THE DEPTHS OF HELL fuck them honestly I will not take this silently how dare they disturb my peace November 1 how fucking fitting
bye for now or forever
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Not forever I guess
I was being dramatic if I cut reading out of my life might as well die.
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I have to change.
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What do you want?
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Nothing. I just want to be at peace. 61725
More of a life update than a comment. So uhh you can go.
I just. Well. I just came back here to read for one last time. This was my favorite manga of all time back then. And to say that, when I am as much of a smut lover as I am human, is crazy.
I’ve probably read this more than 10 times. I would know. For reference, I watched the whole series of I reincarnated as A slime (anime) at least 4 times. And I even read the manga. It’s one of my favorites. I’m practically bragging atp. But my point is, this manga hit the center of my soul. I feel like when I read this it became my core memory HAHAHA. It’s crazy but it truly is something that ignited something in me.
But what I am here for is really to have some sort of recollection. And I feel like my core manga is the spot to put my heart to.
I read this when I was relatively young. Like super young. I am not sure what my exact age was but definitely under 20.
I was scrolling down memory lane. I went back to my very first comments on here. And I was really young. Like I couldn’t express myself. Incoherent. And my vocabulary was dry AF HAHAHA I was using the same thing over and over again. And I am truly not saying this to diss that part of myself but to express my awe for the hard work that that little me must’ve put herself in to become this me, a better teller. And truly, I am impressed. I really did it. I really tried and here I am. And it’s only going to get better from here.
And I just, I can’t believe it that you truly truly get better, unconsciously. I was always looking around…seeing the world is just filled with so much trophies that I can’t achieve but here I was, blinded, I couldn’t see that my path was also filled with trophies I didn’t know I collected.
And it speaks to me now, the little things. Slowly carved a path I didn’t know I was also going. And it’s for a lot of things really. That those small decisions, they do matter. Everything did matter. Every choice, every action not taken, is creating me a future I don’t know about.
So what is this telling me? I know. But it’s hard to admit that I’ve just been a shitty decision-making adult HAHAHA. One who doesn’t make a choice but truly, it was also a decision after all.
So yeah, it feels kinda dramatic to say it. For me to leave with this wall of text. All about MYSELF. As if I was ever something. But I remember I wrote on my profile when I was super new here. I wrote leave bits and pieces of yourself wherever you go. And I truly honored that to this day. To not be afraid of criticism coz they will always come, to just let a piece of you exist coz the world will still go round. The people will forget but you, you will remember. That your heart wanted to say something and you let her be. That she thought it was important to share and you didn’t cower of other’s thoughts but prioritized yours instead.
You will remember it even if the world forgets. You will remember how you still chose to let yourself exist even if the world may deem it unnecessary. Cause it wasn’t even unnecessary in the first place. There is always a space for a memory of you. Even if that space has no audience in it. It could still live on. Longer now that you let it free. Instead of killing it at its first conception.
You didn’t need to be something, someone, the ONE or whover you think are the only ones allowed to make a mark. The fact that I exist and have the audacity is enough. We can all have the audacity. The world is big. There will always be a room for you. So let your piece exist. Let the world store your capabilities.
I was gonna say I’m straying but what are thoughts if not a jumbled mess of ideas. I will let it exist and not berate it for being. After all I am just here to commemorate my exit, may whatever thoughts arise be a symbol of my time here.
My past self would’ve been so proud. ‘Hey, in a sense, you did it.’ You made me ‘me’. Aren’t we pretty awesome? Haha!
This illegal site. Truly build me up. Made me dig deep and reflect on every story I’ve read. I wouldn’t have done it without a material, mangago. You made me see my moral compass and the values I hold. Thank you.
Super dramatic tbh I would have hidden this on my notes app lol if I wasn’t truly leaving. Haha. But I’ve let go of a lot of things now, it would be unfair if I couldn’t leave here.
I want to say more just so I could stay. I want to stay. But it’s unfair for the others. They were equally important. But alas, I made a decision, it’s a decision this time. I hope wherever this leads me, at the very least, makes me feel at peace.
Signing off.
thanks for saying this, i learned something new and important. i get it when you said "as if i was ever something" because i say that to myself quite often BUT YOU ARE i learned from you by sharing a part of yourself. you made an impact–small or big you still did. im wishing you well in life friend ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~