Bbb's Topics (105)

What ? Wait how do you know that Cirrus' father wasn't invested in his relationship with his wife ?? When Cirrus was a little kid ?? _ I am not sure that we get that much of detailed information about how was life before Cirrus' mother died. (?) But she seemed to be a very happy and radiant person ? Maybe she was self sufficient and accepted that her husband was a workaholic ?? But I can only guess that Cirrus' father was already a very absent father and husband. I guess (only my guess) that Cirrus' father never really was a '' domestic person '' in the sense of ''very invested in domestic life'' ?
Some people are like that! It's a matter of personnality and upbringing/education. Some people see all activities that make a home as a tiresome and annoying chore (things like cooking, cleaning, and everything else like caring for the children, educating them and playing with them) _ Also some people see babies as a pain in the ass and not very interesting. So it's possible that the father never properly bound with his son because Cirrus' mother was doing all the homemaking stuff by herself _ and then suddenly she was gone.

My theory is that Cirrus' father never had the time to bound with his child (little Cirrus) because he is a workaholic (and maybe not that interested in children or domestic life)
The thing is ... Some people only realize they are not super interested/invested in children or domestic life only after they get married and hold their first child in their arms x-) trust me that can happen and yes those children often need therapy or a strong bound with another adult... Little Cirrus lost his mother :-/ and he lost touch with his only other relative (?) at that critical time :-/ so of course little Cirrus would be difficult and unconsolable :,-(

The thing is the father was also shook by grief and totally lost without his wife regarding how to handle a small child. I bet it was a lot to handle for him! Not only his own grief but furthemore an estranged child completely overwhelmed by grief.

Lol yes I am passionnate about this topic.

(I want to write a little more.)

Was Cirrus' father ever a caring+loving husband in the first place ?? Maybe he was ''caring in his own way'' as he was the bread-winner. And his wife's lover. I mean that's it for some people, that's exactly what couple life is ! Nothing less and nothing more ! Good sex and a good salary to support for the wife's happiness.

Do we have evidence to support the Idea that the father ever was a loving+caring father ?
Was he even affectionnate to his wife ? Maybe he was '' loving her '' in his way while not being a very affectionnate man in the first place ? Some people aren't very expressive or demonstrative, you know ??

And some people due to their brain chemistry or upbringing will never have a talent at showing warm affectionnate feelings.

Maybe it was like that for him ? Maybe Cirrus' father never was that kind of affectionnate ans demonstrative man ?

Probably also (it can be) that he loved his child '' in theory '' but in reality... Soon after his spouse's death, little Cirrus became quite a difficult child. Difficult to love .. :-/ for a father who is strikken by grief :-/

They would have been better off if only Cirrus was surrounded by loving people. He needed affection and distraction from his pain but it''s tragic what happened with the father: Cirrus' pain made him a source of suffering for his grieving father. And it became truly grueling and traumatic for both of them I think!


Grief can really cut someone from feeling anything and then ... Becoming numb. And it becomes more confortable like this.


So the answer for Cirrus' father was to cut himself from little grieving Cirrus which was in the expression of his grief as a child soooo triggering for the father's emotionnal capacity it was just unbearable and truly dramatically painful for the father to hear Cirrus whining after his mother.

Remember. The father himself was in tremendous pain . And he just like Cirrus had lost his home. His wife was the fire in the hearth she was their joy as she was the homemaker and (maybe) she was all their ever knew of love.