✩ Xiu ✩'s Topics (365)

omg I didn't realize that reference

You should nvr start bc it’s additive. I think it’s bc it stimulates adrenaline and endorphins. That feeling is hard to let go. I used to steal the needles from when you get you’re blood drawn. But it escalated into cutting that left me with really ugly scars including a 8 inch long, 1 inch wide keloid. It’s taken years of treatment to shrink it and flatten it somewhat. I developed anemia, my hemoglobins dropping to 8 (normal for women starts at around 12.) I was passing out all the time & my hair fell out. To this day even though I quit when I got pregnant, I still struggle to keep my iron levels up. Idk if I permanently effected my ability to store iron or something but it can’t help. I’ve known several ppl with a mutilation/ blood letting issue and they all say the same thing, they wish they’d never started bc it’s truly an addiction and it always escalates. If you find a desire to do this it’s most likely bc you lack good coping mechanisms or the ability to self soothe. So if you want some advice try finding healthy ways of dealing with stress (or trauma) and better ways to self soothe.

Thank you for informing me about this and I hope you’re doing better now. I’m pretty good at dealing stress if I say so.. I don’t personally have a hobby of using needles on myself- I may be a gore fan but never have thought of self harming (because I am a scaredy-cat when it comes to me..) When I was a kid I was extremely scared of needles I remember when my sister was getting blood tested I started crying out loud.. but then in 2020 I had to get blood tested again and ever since that I’ve been quite fixated on how needles are very hmm nice I guess I like the sensation Overall thank you for sharing this experience I’ll totally remember it in the future :D and try not to be stupid.

Yeah I’m good, when I decided to keep my pregnancy it made me realize I couldn’t rely on old & unhealthy coping mechanisms. And it’s not about being stupid, its very easy to develop a thing for the way you feel when you hurt yourself. Like when I got a super painful labret piercing I felt amazing afterwards & wanted that feeling again. Our bodies produce these feel good hormones to help us when severaly injured. It’s just biology. It’s also easy to develop a fascination for seeing the inside of our bodily structures. Like once you get past your bodies inborn revulsion at seeing it, seeing the way the layers of your skin part & seeing the fat layer, it’s pretty interesting. But ultimately harmful. I d didn’t want to come off preachy but I was in a self harm therapy group & everyone pretty much agreed that they wish they’d never given in to that first thing that sparked an interest in mutalating themselves.

I honestly agree with the fascination with insides of our body structures part! When I got blood tested I was really really shocked of the amount of blood they took it was cool whenever I see blood it just so amazing..! It just sucks me into this world of wonders of how crazy our bodies are really..! Overall it’s just biology. And don’t worry you don’t sound preachy! It’s nice to learn something new! And it’s great for you to inform me of this thank you !