Eli's Topics (99)

I hope next chapter the staff make all the pages in the chapter colored just to make you all angry lol

Actually I pity the person (people) that color it for you all to come and complain about it. Wasted talent and time on you guys.

Gonna analyze...

So both of them are at wrong but the main people at fault are their parents.

Hayato and Yuki were negligenced and that's parental abuse. At an age where they should be protected, cared and loved they were left by themselves to struggle together and who knows what else more (since we don't the whole story about their fathers).

People that are abused usually have a need for control (and power) and this can come in various ways: from being passive (a victim) to being violent (an abuser).

When Yuki started having sexual desires for his brother he was indeed disgusted by it all but he was afraid he wouldn't be able to control himself. Actually by that time Hayato was in danger of being sexually harassed. If that happened Yuki was going to feel the first taste f being in control of another/the situation and he wouldn't be able to stop anymore. For him not to do that he went through another way that still was being abusive to Hayato, but in another way.

He was the third person to negligence Hayato and not only that, there was also psychological, emotional and physical violence.

Hayato even before the problems with his brother was already showing self-satisfaction for manipulating Yuki because it proved that Yuki (at least him) cared for him, so he liked having this control. Psychologically speaking the worse to Hayato related to his brother was being shunned out because this meant being rejected once again and that was something he couldn't deal. By then he started having thoughts that he was the cause of it all (probable low self-esteem), but since Yuki was still living with him he was able to repress his feelings. When it got unbearable since he realized after years the distance between them and how it was probably not going to change he became obsessed.

The last blow was when Hayato realized Yuki was sleeping around. It reminded him of his mother leaving them for her "important person", a man. What if Yuki found his important person and left him as well? Then he finally snapped and made sure to control Yuki in all the ways he could do.

So right now, Hayato is the abuser and Yuki is the abused but both of them feel protected/in control in this kind of relationship.

They should search for help because none of them are ok. I pity them.

Does anyone have the raws?

Daddy said Junyoung doesn't trust him but I thing he's projecting. He's afraid Junyoung will get tired of his old ass and get someone more interesting and young. His other insecurity is that Junyoung is independent and doesn't like depending on him.

Daddy even said he wouldn't want to go to the USA if it was before. He's basically admiting he's testing Junyoung. If he accepts what daddy decided it means he loves him and daddy can trust him. If he disagrees it means he doesn't love him and daddy can't trust him so it's better they end their relationship. Then in the story Junyoung disagrees (in a really mature way btw), daddy gets mad go on with his plans but blames Junyoung for it all.

In one of the last chapters (if not the last) it's said that daddy can be quite childish and we can see it really well here (props to the author for forshadowing it). Of course age is something that changes us but more than that experiences are probably the most important part. Even tho daddy is old he was probably protected and spoiled rotten his whole life, even his past lovers went on with everything he said. Junyoung in the other hand had to work multiple jobs, live by himself, make sure he got all his bills payed, deal with a pervert and who knows what more.

Daddy has such a huge ego and it means he can't be refused, if things don't go according to his plans he just gives up. Junyoung tho knows how life can be difficult and he can deal with everything, even with a lover that doesn't trust him and that wants to control him, but he can't do anything if he's the only one trying to make their relationship work.

I like the ecchi scene because it showed me the guy knows how to have sex. I mean, usually men don't care about women's desires so they just thrust their penis and that's it, but seme here was taking his time, caressing her, thrusting fingers.

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MC loves Fuji but he doesn't want to be with him because by now he believes this is not going to work and thinks in the end Fuji is going to be unhappy if they become a couple. He even tells Fuji "I wanted to be with you" and "I wanted to become yours" but he had to refuse him in the worst way in order for Fuji to give up.

The other comes up and says he'll make the MC forget all these sad things (remember that the mother said she was able to forget abut her husband/child after some time). When they're having sex the MC is thinking of Fuji so then the other says that it's ok for the MC to think of Fuji since soon he'll forget about him. So the MC the whole time calls/cries for Fuji's name and the other even impersonates Fuji and calls him "senpai" (is this role play? lol), right after that MC comes lol It's actually a pretty sad scene because he wants Fuji.

When the MC wakes up he starts listening to Fuji's messages on his phone. He knows he's going to forget Fuji but he doesn't want to. Last panel he says something about putting an end to everything (how?).

My thoughts: I think MC is going to be with Fuji. They have too much history and love going on. The whole thing of making the other one more human was just to make the MC's choice more difficult, he's there only for the plot.

When I was reading the manhwa I felt there was something different when the MC was called "weird" basically cuz I was called that when I was a child because surprise! I talked to myself (apparently I have asperger as well, so that's that).

I lost a friend that I actually loved romantically to suicide last year. I feel awful, I miss her and I think that if I date someone else I'll be kind of cheating on her. There's a lot of guilt.

So if the MC had a really good friendship with Sihoo and depending on what happened when Sihoo died the MC can feel guilty for having another friend. He has mental issues because of what happened (damn, now I have depression, anxiety and depersonalization and I'm 27 year old, how can a child deal with all this?) and don't want to let the friend go from his memories so that's why he keeps seeing him and letting other friends away.

The timeline should be like this:
red-haired guy died - MC started seeing the dead friend - MC was bullied - dark-haired guy became friends with MC - MC started feeling guilty for having a friend, red-haired guy telling him to not leave him - the MC was probably triggered by it all and something else may have happened later - I'm gussing here, but MC may have gone to a psychiatrist institute, that's why his mind is basically blank, we don't know a thing of what happened in the time between his childhood and the time he entered high school, it's like 8 years.

By experience I can understand a little of what Jisuh is going through. When you are abused you subconsciously start fearing being abused again so you don't trust people anymore and it's like you create a barrier around yourself. You don't let people come too close, you don't show your feelings and you don't feel other's feelings. That's why Jisuh is quite passive and most time we don't understand what he's feeling/thinking. He's basically the opposite of Sunyeol.

It's quite interesting because Jisuh is quite counscious about himself, his traumas and the people around him. He makes this confused face the whole time but he kinda knows what's going on and what he needs to do to protect himself. He knows Heejae is manipulative and he himself is (was?) playing a dangerous game with him. In a way Jisuh is also manipulative (without meaning to and due to protect himself).

The thing is Jisuh had a debt and usually people that have been abused hate losing control, being in the hands of others, asking for favors, that put them in a vulnerable situation (one that reminds them of the abuse). So for him it was better to enter that game with Heejae since there were rules and he could control things (I'm not saying it's conscious btw). Even after starting their threesome he had some control, he knew Heejae was playing with him and was going to throw him away and that's why he made sure to not fall in love (again, he's not letting his feelings out).

Now things got out of his control. Sunyeol is in love with him and I suppose that's why he cut their relationship short. Heejae didn't confess and Jisuh thought they were going to go back to a sexual relationship only but Heejae is pushing him into a romantic relationship that he doesn't want. He's confused because by what he got from Heejae he was only playing with him but now he's showing a side that he wasn't expecting.

Jisuh is probably going to have the most character development in the story. While protecting oneself is important the way Jisuh is doing it makes himself hurt and suffer more because he repress everything and everyone. He needs to open up or else he's going to run away and become lonely again.

Andreia please read this!

btw does anyone know how to search for a friend here in mangago?