lebron's #1 pookie bear want to read (All 414)
beta
y'all i just spent 20 minutes on the toilet crying because my shit was constipated so the loaf was stuck in shit purgatory where it was slightly out of my ass but it wouldn't fall out all the way AND it was 2x the width of a normal shit. I have a new found respect for all the bottoms who have to take in those massive missile cocks because jesus christ that shit HURTS. no joke i thought my ass would tear, i thought i was gonna die.
anyways happy national chocolate covered anything day y'all.
I can smell the american coming off of you. Eat some damn fibre
i haven't been eating anything good lately cuz of finals lmao ty pookie. i'll get on the prunes grind ig
Please incorporate fibre into your diet to the point that when you have a bean burrito you don't shit your brains out, bc your body will be used to the fibre
i was planning on having a bean burrito for dinner tonight are u in my walls??
THJS HAPPENED TO ME i think i was like 12 and i didnt poop for 7 DAYS MY BELLY WAS SO BIG I LOOKED PREGNANT and when i finally pooped the shit was MASSIVE THE SIZE OF AN ARM AND MY ASSHOLE HURTED FOR A FEW DAYS BECAUSE OF THIS MONSTRUOSITY
CRYING
i love how you got from taking a shit to ”damn, dicks gotta hurt“ ╥﹏╥
i showed my mom the shit (its currently stuck in the toilet and wont flush its that big) and she said its the same size as me when i was born chat i think i just experienced what male omegas go through when they give birth via asshole.
AHAHAH im dying laughing at these comments
I had to tell a trusted adult about this
(But also, real.)
any tsundere x tsundere recs? i love that shit i eat it up every time. gl bl straight doesn't matter i neeeed it ლ(´ڡ`ლ)
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/the_story_of_an_engaged_couple_that_doesn_t_get_along/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/aiharakunto_kashimakunha_rabukome_kamoshirenai/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/koori_zokusei_danshi_to_cool_na_douryo_joshi/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/on_doorstep/
holy shit i just realized i started reading on doorstep years ago (before i was even on mggo) and never finished. just finished reading it and its such a banger. tsym pookie i'll name my 1st born child after u. look forward to reading the rest!
This is what happens next for anyone wondering btw:
Lian slaps Lau awake dramatically.
“Lau, wake up! We have a world to save!”
Lau blinks. “Huh? Weren’t you literally trying to kill Xin two seconds ago?”
Lian smirks. “Pfft. That was just a prank, bro. The tattoo’s not dangerous—it’s just... lead.”
“Wait, what?” Lau starts coughing. “That explains so much.”
Suddenly, a familiar voice echoes from behind.
“Lian would never betray us. Obviously.”
Lau spins around. “Wait… You’re alive?!”
Xin steps out from the shadows like Kermit palpatine.
“We were working together the whole time to take down the Head Family,” he says, dramatically flipping his hair even though there's no wind.
“I had to keep you in the dark to protect you, Lau. You were too precious… too pure.”
Lau gasps. “So… this was all a plan? To reunite the family? To free us from those crusty old council boomers?”
Xin nods, eyes sparkling with anime tears. “Yeah. Teehee.”
He stretches out his hand. “So let’s do this. One last job—for old times’ sake.”
“Lau, you go left. Wei, you go right. Lian… heh… you just keep being your chaotic little self.”
[cut to them dropping two atomic bombs on the Head Family tower while electric guitar solos play]
As the dust settles, Xin turns to Lau. “This… is for almost getting us killed!” [punches Lau in the stomach]
“And this… is for saving my life.” [reaches up and plants an unnecessarily romantic smooch]
Lau, blushing like an anime schoolgirl: “So… that’s it? We’re some kind of… Sangyang: The Wanderer?”
[cue sparkly music and slow zoom]
Before Xin can answer, Lian bursts through a wall cheering.
“WE DID IT! THE HEAD FAMILY’S DEAD! THIS WAS TRULY OUR… SANGYANG: THE WANDERER!!!”
She throws glitter in the air.
“Man, I feel a musical number coming on. Hit it, Wei!”
Wei, who’s been silently holding a guitar this whole time, shouts:
“LET’S DANCE!”
THE END (or is it? Stay tuned for Sangyang:the Wanderer 2: the Wandering & Sangyang:the Wanderer 3 The Wandering: Revelations)
LMFAOOO BRO
My skin shriveled up from reading this. I'm now a husk of my former self.
Ay man put a spoiler warning next time
absolute cinema
u and me both buddy, u dont know the mental fortitude it took to just edit this -1hp for every word i wrote
Ngl The first half got me Σ(っ°Д °;)っ