babao's Topics (91)

There are a few things I wanted to kind of look at in the third perspective.

First of all as disclaimer: It hurts. What JH said is outright abhorrent, repulsive and beyond hurtful. Beyon repaired, beyond salvageable even.

Moving forward, playing the devil's advocate. How JH acted is a byproduct of SR twisted mindset. SR tells him the previous night that the only way for them to understand each other is if JH experienced and sinks to the lowest point (where SR sees himself to be). SR says that the only where for them to understand each other is if JH would become lonely and twisted like him, thinking so selfishly and acting out of hatred, unafraid to hurt others.

Following the next day, JH becomes just that. Simply worse, because he has the financial power to recover.

I think about how we, as individuals, are reflections, or rather, a museum of everyone we have encountered and loved. Without fail, SR was someone JH loved too. Beyond just friends, beyond the conventional family - before they even had to commit to it - they were already each other's family and comfort.

Has anyone heard of the ideas of soulmates and twin flames? Well, I think JH and SR is that secret third one: Karmic. A relationship too soon, too young, too full of hope and fear - so intense, and so raw that someone so young isn't so strong to withstand the pressure and intensity of both their immaturities. I wouldn't term it as love per se, rather, it was desperate hope between two young boys who wanted a tangible 'family' whether it means eloping with your best friend or simply cutting ties with your blood family both physically and on legal papers. Both boys are materialistic, in a way they want their family to be like them, to be /with/ them. Without even realizing that ever since they became friends and shared secrets, they already were a family. There is no verbal nor written contract to start your family - whoever you choose as your home and safe space is your family.

SR, I pray to God he didn't jump, is a tragic character. He is a boy so full of love to give yet so much fear prevents him from showing affection. JH says it too, SR wouldn't cry, wouldn't break down, wouldn't show such vulnerability because he wanted to be 'cool', he wanted to be 'strong', he wanted to be 'mature'. It was never about being miserable together to understand each other. It was seeing through the facades and, despite the differences, being able to mend each other and ease the fear, remove the bad habits, and create new and positive habits. SR realizes it late after having set the stage. JH, fueled by his father's warped classiest mindset, and fueled by SR's twisted ideology, JH becomes the worst person possible.

At this point I'm just hoping SR doesn't jump. Even if we have no closure between them, even if SR drops out and they never cross paths, I wish SR finds it in himself to be with good people. He doesn't have to be miserable forever, he doesn't have to wait and beg people to stoop low just to love and accept him. He's worth more than what he perceives himself to be. Being miserable together may make a relationship stronger, but it isn't a hard prerequisite for a relationship to exist.

I think both SR and JH realizes that they can't repair this kind of relationship anymore, maybe there is a possibility but not now. They've both twisted each other, no apology can soothe this pain, and the family they dreamed of having together is nothing but a childish dream.

Do you see how different they are?

SR's vengeance was to hurt JH - 'I know how to hurt you - I'll bully you, nitpick you, make your physical presence be a sore to the everyone around us'. Whereas while JH was hurting his mindset was - 'I'll ace my grades and do better in life'. That is PRIVILEGE talking.

Everyone here needs to realize that the way both SR and JH were brought up will deeply reflect how they handle conflict and relationships and anger. SR can't ruin someone's life financially, he's not powerful enough for that, all that child can do is throw his fists, shout a bunch of hurtful words, and ignore those who are hurting around him. Whereas JH's anger is centered towards himself, he'll remove himself and look at himself only because that's privilege he has. He has money, he has food, he has shelter, he has what it takes to protect himself from people.

Unless SR abandons his thug mentality and unless JH accepts he CANNOT have everything, their friendship was bound to break and this grief was inevitable. SR utilizes everything around him to his advantage to survive, JH runs away because he knows there's is a place out there he can find that is safe, SR doesn't have that kind of privilege to simply leave and escape. If he knows he has power, he'll stay in a place he can control, even if it means hurting others.

Both SR and JH was almost at the point of meeting halfway when they were blindly and immaturely planning to elope. SR was committed to escaping, to go somewhere far and beyond his familiar scope, somewhere where he knows survival will be even harder because he'll have someone to protect and someone who cares for him all the same. But JH wouldn't have understood that, and that's valid.

It's not easy to empathize with someone. It's not easy imagining and living a life running away from parents who sheltered, clothed, and fed you. JH just cannot emotionally, physically, and mentally realize that kind of circumstance. He cannot commit to that kind of thing, not because he's a coward, but because he hasn't experienced 'the last straw' that SR refers to. SR must have experienced being on the brink of death, starvation, and homelessness - JH would never be neglected enough to be unfed and killed.

If anything, this story shows more than ever just how much of a significant influence parents are in how a child establishes and reinforces relationships with their peers.

If SR's mother, whom both mutually promised to flee, can change and abandon her own child, SR can also abandon that 'friend' he wanted to protect and elope with.

If JH's father can be kind and accepting, amidst the years of pressure and and classiest teaching, JH can also present his classist mindset to those less privileged.

They are both simply children, raised in homes of violence or sheer instability, hurting and releasing their anger in ways that could hurt the other for a lifetime and they don't even realize it themselves.

I'm never recovering.

Jinhyeong was never mature in the first place, these kinds of words and situations are realistic for a child under immense pressure but was never exactly abused to near-death. What Jinhyeong says is common between children under pressure, but they haven't experienced "breaking". Like a tightly closed lid, there's pressure building but, yet Jinhyeong's motives now is to loosen the lid so pressure seeps out - he wants to repair the bond he has with his father and release the pressure.

Song-rik, on the other hand, never faced pressure. He was tempered class repeatedly bashed with a spiked bat. He was already broken and messed up. The worst part is that his relationship with Jinhyeong was akin to Jinhyeong picking up the pieces but never actually mending it. It's like finding a random piece of thing that captures your eye, you take it, keep it, admire it, sympathize with it, until it's time you move on and grow up then you throw it away.

I don't think Jinhyeong intentionally wants to abandon Song-rik, he's just too young and inexperienced to actually realize and actualize an independent life. Unlike Song-rik who can actually commit to everything he said. Song-rik's life is much similar to many abused and neglected children who wanted to survive. Hell, it won't be impossible for him to actually save up money for Jinhyeong's college because I've seen with my two eyes what human determination can do.

Jinhyeong just can't find it real that a mere kid can have as much money on their own enough to live until their adults. The comparison of 50,000 won from Jinhyeong vs Song-rik really proves the point that Jinhyeong can't wrap his head around surviving all on your own. He doesn't understand Song-rik's capability to be independent and a fully-funtioning adult.

Now, Song-rik is out for revenge. He's someone mature enough due to the class difference, he knows how to observe people, how to analyze people, and how to judge them. This is why he knows how to hurt Jinhyeong and ruin his life, make him regret for choosing that damn father he badmouthed so bad over him, the brother they created amongst themselves. The one thing immature is how he would be releasing his anger and frustration, because, after all, he is still just a kid hurting. Song-rik may be able to get his life together financial eventually, but he'll never mature emotionally until then.

I'm just so, so disheartened. We all know how this goes. We all know the present time. This is probably one of the worst and most painful losses someone could experience.

Jinhyeong will have to realize and experience grief over a living person (cross my damn fingers no one is dead here wtf), and Song-rik, at worst, will relive another painful abandonment. The mother who promised him they'll run away? She left. And now, the found-brother he had who agreed to the promise of running away was also going to leave him. Once shouldn't even happen, but twice? It's inhumane. Song-rik gave love and family one more chance, and it's been crushed.

I don't think I'll ever have the heart to see the manhwa the same again if we don't receive closure between Song-rik and Jinhyeong. This kind of grief just hits too hard. This doomed found family ahh trope will always be the end of me.

So ML has a fetish for white foxes but was also racist to foxes got it. /sarcasm /halfjoking

I don't remember when I last read this, but I reread and binged it yesterday. Delighted to say that I still adore their relationship.

From a literary perspective, like the technicalities of using certain foreshadowing and story devices, there WERE a lot of potential that didn't see the light. One thing was Han's obsessive tendencies that was significantly downplayed either for the sake of the rating or to make the story less complicated (thus, less chapters). The story Fairy and the Woodcutter allusion to how Han keeps relationships, however, it also contradicts the way he executes his relationships at the same time.

He says "If he were the Woodcutter, he'd burn the Fairy's clothes" meaning the Fairy would never have anywhere to go because she was babytrapoed by the Woodcutter. Yet, in the real world, Han acts out flippantly. He abandons people he can't enjoy with anymore. If we place that in the world of the Woodcutter and Fairy, it would show that the Woodcutter has the freedom to leave, yet for the Fairy it's a dead end. She can't go home no matter what.

This story could have explored a little deeper into Han's tendencies and created more conflict between Shinwoo and Han. Han's obsession, yet his highly realistic possibility of abandoning his past objects of affections are something that has to be unraveled. Personally, I kind of just wanted to see more drama wherein Han realizes that he still experiences shallow and dark emotions that hurts others.

As for Shinwoo, I have so, so much affection from him. His anxiety and passiveness was so raw and dark. It was like stepping foot into a dark, muddy puddle and you realize you can't pull your foot back up. Chapter 45 might as well be, hands down, my favorite chapter. The way Shinwoo blatantly told Han how much he hated himself, how much he's ruminating on how everyone leaves him and it's his passive and distant nature that drives people away. The very thing that defends him is the very thing that hurts and drives people away. The only way for him to love and enjoy life and keep relationships is for him to tear that defense mechanism and accept the reality of abandonment.

I don't know how other people have the heart to say he's frustrating. He was neglected the moment he's past 3 years old (since Shinyeong was 3 years younger and was born sickly, it meant that 3 year old Shinwoo had begun to see his parents start distancing themselves from him as the started to look after sickly Shinyeong). That neglect, topped with the aggressive and vile judgment his family persecuted him with after Shinyeong's death is no light matter. Shinwoo was thirteen, living a lower middle class family, it means that they could only spend so much to live. In a blink, their parents couldl ose work and they'd be dirt poor. They live just enough, not exactly the most comfortable, but at least secure. That comes crumbling at Shinyeong's death, the sharp decline of his mother's mental state, his aunt's aggressive words, and his father's addiction and neglect deepens. And don't even get me started on the Mom Arc, not going to lie that was executed quite poorly. Shinwoo witnesses first hand how his family, who barely gave him any attention, finally looked at him yet with all the disdain and betrayal. He witnesses first hand how they fell apart, and how he shouldered the burden both emotionally, psychologically, and financially. As if it washis objective punishment for existing to be his family's heartache. He's the catalyst of their tragedies, and he had to atone. Killing himself wouldn't even solve it. He had to live miserably.

Injae says it himself. Someone like Shinwoo and someone like Han was going to be a disaster couple if we base it on their developed personalities. Han, who grew up fickle, and Shinwoo, who grew up passive.

When I think about it, if the story explored more on Han's obsessive and dark tendencies, it would shift dramatically on how Shinwoo would develop. The more Han pushes his desires, the more Shinwoo imagines for the end in anxiety. The more Han distances himself, the more Shinwoo accepts the end. There's a subtle difference there. Shinwoo imagines an end, and Shinwoo prepares for the end.

If Han were any darker and if this manhwa was rated more explicit, we might see the utter breakage of Han's relationship with Shinwoo, and we'll witness Shinwoo even lower that where he is. How do we recover from that? Well, I wouldn't know since I'm not the author. Still, I'd like to think that if we explored Han a little more, and he presented it more, then we probably wouldn't have a happy ending with Shinwoo.

Things work out in this story because Han wasn't as aggressive. He wasn't as forceful. He 'never burned' the Fairy's clothes. Instead, he held it in his hands and looked the fairy straight in the eye to stay with him and he promises never to touch her clothes again.

Anyways, this ramble got long but I really enjoyed this short and sweet manhwa. Ngl, I also wished there was a bit of backstory on Wonhyeok (the ex) he was low-key fine. I find it hard to believe Shinwoo smiled that brightly towards Wonhyeok (as per Han's memories of finding him at the pub in the past), if Shinwoo didn't hold sincere affections. He definitely held some deep affection for his ex, and I wish we could have explored that a bit more because how does Shinwoo, who has faced abandonment all his life, even accepted a lover? It looked like it lasted long enough too, it wasn't a hookup too.

If anyone gets to read this long ramble of how I adore this manhwa and how I do see there are a lot of missed potential, if you could give me any recommendations similar to this I would be really grateful. I love this kind of dynamic and tone of the story.

TLDR:
Imo there are 2 things I keep looking at:
1. Seoan, who has been medicated already and went to the doctors before, should know very well what kind of symptoms Woowon is presenting. He himself knows it well that Woowon's best place is not Seoan's house but a hospital for therapy and rehabilitation.
2. NOT victim blaming Seoan, what he's going through under Woowon's delusional aggression is horrifying, but he is still very wrong for enabling Woowon to vent such aggression to him physically without actually actively treating it.

Long words ahead, I think it's been pretty obvious that Woowon is going to keep his mouth shut until he explodes inside out. And right now he's imploding inside and all that is left is the thin layer of his facade to just tear apart and he might as well end it all. The fact he's still alive is the only thing making him believe he's still human. Other than that, his subconscious and unconsciousness believe he's entirely something else.

Woowon isn't going to open up, at least that's the kind of character he showed himself to be right from the start. The only way for things to go at this point is for him to break completely and, hopefully away from anyone and everyone else.

Imo, breaking up wouldn't do them well. Seoan needs to lock Woowon up in rehab but also visit him regularly to reinforce their commitment to their relationship despite distance. Woowon needs that relationship to find some way to stay alive or conscious, breaking that might lead him to completely kill himself. As morbid as that sounds, I fear we'd have to settle because I doubt there's any 'healthy talk' we're going to see through that breaking point.

Can't wait for this new arc in their relationship

I wish I could have Yigon's brain to win at life but having that kind of family? No thanks.

Hakyung is really... Um dare I say closely familiar in personality to a certain other bastard. Still, I am LOVING it. But he's way too cautious, when is he going to start acting up and actually out to kill Yigon? I can't wait to see the ultimate crash outs. I hope we get a near death situation for Yigon, something so severe and drastic that it becomes a turning point for both Hakyung and Taekang

I also wonder what kind of development Taekang is going to go through? Yigon is apparently his type when it comes to appearance, I supposed this is the "A falls first but B falls harder" kind of couple. I really hope Taekang falls super hard and down bad.

Decent read! Can't wait to find out how this story pans out.

Saha, I'm sorry but I think you're gonna end up collared, chained, and caged

You should've left way before and I fear anything from this point onwards is too late.

I'll still read it anyways to pass time and see how it ends but damn.

They should've locked Jaewon up in an asylum instead of getting him to a pedia or pulmo whichever organ keeps on acting up, because it's for sure nothing else but the brain.

That aside, I just know the reward will be so sweet once both Seoin and Yeongwoon figure out their own problems and how their hold their values. Seoin heavily utilizes on sex as a tool for power, as a means to assert aggression and control, whereas Yeongwoon sees that intimacy as something sacred, something monogamous, exclusive, and permanent.

Slowly, but surely, Seoin would realize how much Yeongwoon cherished their relationship it broke him just as much as how Seoin shattered in a different way; and soon enough they'll be able to care for each other without anymore facades. Without having to use each other and going back and forth, no more manipulative plans or whatsoever.

I just wish the whole ordeal with Jaewon gets to be revealed first between Seoin and Jaewon, that way they have a starting ground on how to rebuild their trust, because that was the catalyst of how their friendship fell apart. I don't think they can delve into Yeongwoon's abuse without looking into that. The only time we get a glimpse of Youngwoon's past is when someone else gets involved because Yeongwoon keeps such a close and tight lid on his feelings—which is ironic considering how the story portrays him almost like an impulsive open book. And yet there's Seoin airing out all his dirty laundry yet plays to be one of the more mysterious and distant guys. The moment that dirty laundry is cleaned, I feel like that's how we get to see the dirty parts of Yeongwoon's life.

Anyways that's my two cents on this, I really hope that Jaewon ordeal gets burned so fast, thank God he is DEAD. If he can cause this much turmoil while dead, I can't imagine how much more if he was alive as a fully grown adult capable of even more horrors.