Hako's Things

So I have a friend that ghosted me bc of their personal reasons (even I don't know what exactly prompted them to) but we were super duper close, as in the type of close where we could tell what each other would say without speaking, looking at each other is enough to say a million gossips etc. I truly valued them and loved them (as a friend) so much, so it broke me when all of it happened, and I didn't even get a reason why. Its beed 6 months. I found out that they ghosted me on their bday when they ignored my art gift and well wishes (though we stopped talking during February I didn't realize it was her ghosting me bc I was also busy) so I didn't get to give them the gift I prepared which was:

A handwritten letter
Collage photos of us
Pins of their fav characters with my art
Printed image of the art of them I made
ALST figure
Haikaveh rings (we planned to cosduo them)

We had so many cosduos planned and I can't imagine cosplaying those characters without them now, because I made a promise. Honestly they were the most in sync friend I've ever had, and even now that I've been hurt and ghosted by them for the 3rd time (this time the permanence is devastating) which dealt a huge blow to my mental health, I still can't seem to let them go and accept that fact standing still.

So my question is should I ask a mutual friend a favor to give the gift to them? If all goes well there's a chance they might talk to me, if it goes awry then maybe I'll get some closure. Thanks for reading I really appreciate it.

Like, tell me if this is normal and y'all have also experienced it?? I'm super happy for my friend that they're finally getting more popular in their craft but at the same time I'm like ugh I should've been more consistent I wish I was her yk?? Idk like, I'm not jealous in the hateful ugly way as per say, ig I'm more of disappointed at myself for allowing myself to get left behind

Grandma told me I was gonna die just because I was spending time with my cats when I was having such a good time and lectured me for 30 mins, the cosplay I wanted to do first was done by other people first bc my lazy ass friend who I commissioned a cosprop from is TOO FUCKING LAZY TO DO IT, so now everyone else has done it and it's not unique anymore so I don't even feel like doing it anymore, I had the perfect set up to chill and watch a movie with my cats but my grandma kicked them out and told me I was gonna die (part 2), my mother still hasn't contacted the guy whos gonna paint my room (only she knows his contact) do I don't even feel like cleaning my room anymore bc I want to redecorate if once I got it painted and it's been 2 weeks since she promised to call him

I'm so tired of all these minor inconveniences and one more will literally lead me to spiral out of my schedule and hate everyone I see for 1 month idk if I'm just stressed or I have a mental illness

Like for example when you're in an important position like (class officers in school, team leads at work etc.) and you know some of the people around you hate you and you know you have your own lapses, how do you get your confidence back? I don't need answers like 'I'm a bad bitch' etc etc like genuinely how I need help