clementine muffin's Things

i used to be a good student. then medical entrance exam preparation started in grade 11, and it's been a downwards hill ever since. im currently in my drop year, still preparing for this goddamn exam, and I'm tired of literally the same syllabus over and over and over again. seriously this is so fucking frustrating. everyone around me keeps saying how they think im a sincere student and how much they believe in me, my marks haven't even gotten better at the tests im giving at the institutes preparing me for this exam. my marks have only gone lower since the past few months, I've lost all hope of cracking this exam, and i just wanna get this all over with already.

i know i have other options. i know people can succeed even by taking these other option paths. and this year, if i don't clear these exams, well obviously I'll have to select one of these other options. which also have entrance exams for them, which i don't even know if I'll be able to clear anymore. my self confidence it at an all time low.

i just wish people stopped telling me they believe in me, and just give me the fucking truth, that I can't make it, because frankly speaking, I'm never gonna be able to believe in myself anymore after almost 3 years of gruelling, hard work giving me this meagre marks. every exam i give, the marks are absolutely abysmal. to the point where i think the teachers at my coaching institute have probably given up on me too. but like, someone please just say it to my face so that i can suffer through the five stages of grief and then move on from this impossible dream of mine to crack this exam already.

Venom: the last dance is in theatres for the last day today here. And I'm a marvel fan. Heretic is out in 9 days.

im a fan of both the mcu and a24 horror movies so much, which one should i go watch?? i won't go and watch both because i have limited money left

(a little context- in my country they always unnecessarily insert an intermission even in movies without one. so it's gonna ruin the continuity of a horror movie more.
also, i will watch both. if i go watch one, I'll watch the other on streaming services later anyways)

queer manga (bl, gl, non-binary, trans idc just having queer characters), no gore, smut optional, nothing too extreme or dead dove. pls rec me something i need to read something interesting

I did something embarrassing once in high school and it just makes me feel so guilty for no reason.
people used to talk about crushes all the time back then, I had none because im aro-spec (which i didn't know back then). so, everytime one of my friends asked me, i lied. lied to 3 of my friends, made up non existent crushes on the first guy friend that came to mind.
I'm no longer in contact with 2 of the friends i lied to, and 2 of the guy friends i lied about. but my sibling is still friends with one of those guy friends, and whenever we meet i feel so guilty about having lied on bro's name like that
it also doesn't help that I'm lesbian, so all of that was just comphet.

have any of you guys done something similar? maybe because of comphet, maybe because of fomo, i just wanna know because i know no other person who's had to lie about this

queer mangas/manhwas. not too hardcore stuff, no d€ad dove shit, and no toxic relationships. smut optional, idc.