Elyon want to read (All 911)
beta
it's actually been awhile since I've seen such a well written mc cause all of her actions makes sense for her character, personality, and background. idky yall want gods for mcs. I love a smart genius mc those also pmo cause when they're too smart then there's a lack of tension and build up and it starts to feel convenient. Could this mc have been written better? yes. But the way she is makes sense. sometimes I like a flawed mc. hopefully her character grows and improves. Also pmo when readers act like the character should know something just because readers do.
Overall writing of this story is a probably an 8.5 for me. 7.5 if I'm being nitpicky
I've been in the mood for a 'rags to riches' type stories—aka Cinderella-esque, if you will—so I'd greatly appreciate any webtoons or manga recommendations od these types! Thanks!
omg same
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/shadow_queen/ <- time rewind one, but setup is poor girl ends up posing as a noble
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/i_raised_cinderella_preciously/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/ebony/
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/my_blissful_marriage/
i don't think they start off from rags, but I think it fits in sense of less priviledged-y?
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/concubine_walkthrough/ <- an isekai, where MC suddenly is noble consort in the good [really good]
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/like_a_wind_on_a_dry_branch/ <- I think we're trekking to riches but not yet!
omg tyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
here's my nitpicks:
1. is the elf blood in the empress or the emperor? (this i might have missed)
2. blond hair blue eyes combo is royalty but is either stand alone possible then in terms of king or concubine having blond in previous generations cause then that could be used to explain the dumbfukery of no one catching on enough to do any kind of deep dive investigation (as far as I'm aware no such info has been established and can only go off of "irl blonde is recessive"). establishing that only royalty has specific traits/abilities but not letting the characters realize the truth is the stupidest fuking writing. it's worse than clark kent.
3. IF I COULD RIP THE TIME SKIP TO SHREDS I WOULD!! (I'd alter it if anything)
3A) it removes character bond growth bt MC and queen. she's waaayyyy too hesitant for 10yrs (id believe if 5yrs) (we didn't get to see MCs self strength improve at all either so)
3B) removes bond growth bt MC and silver (ml?) cause if he's the ML then WHY are we being told "they are good friends" instead of being able to see that bond grow? SHOW DON'T TELL. Their chemistry is nonexistent as a result.
3C) no tf concubine would noy be quiet for 10 fuking years
3D) the oasis situation should have been dire long before 10yrs
4. multiple events happening 10yrs later is stupid writing imo. it's feels more "convenient" than well thought it or planned. I would have made it so like 5yrs later the oasis situation gets partially addressed or partially "fixed" then at ten yrs later, whatever original solution they strived for fell through which then leads to the current situation. In the background I would have characters feeling pressure or discussing the state of the empire in some way that was a result of concubines actions (it can be small things like raising taxes or making the rose the country's flower idfk but bish subduing the man and letting the empress and crown prince do whatever without bish being a thorn feels weird) CAUSE THE WOMAN HAS THE EMPEROR UNTIL HER THUMB?? WHY ISNT SHE MAKING MORE USE OF THAT. We keep getting told she's a pest but aside from her personality and control over the emperor, WE personally haven't seen her do anything.
5. this one is just my lil 2ml syndrome but silver hair is cute however I want more tanned MLs. I feel like delaying a love story is cute too and throughout the "kidnapping" they could bond and fall in love. I'm kinda tired of the love starting as kids troupe.
some of this could be uh dialed down if I'm informed of any bg info in might have missed but otherwise I'm sorry but this concept had soooo much potential
To explain
1. The Only royalty here is the Empress and Crown Prince + Luana the female lead.
2. The Empress is the child of the previous Emperor. She is a direct descendant of the first Emperor (Human) and Empress who was a pure blooded Elf. However females are disinherited from the crown. So the Empress got married to the Emperor who was like a distant relative/selected.
3. No one suspects that Luana is actually the Empress's child because that child is "dead". There were witnesses of the death.
4. The Empress once had thoughts that Luana was her child. However she and many doctors and maids witnessed Lilliana giving birth to Luana. So she had banished the thought from her mind. Not to mention there is an age gap between the empress's child and Luana. We can infer that some sort of black magic was used but that's because we the audience have a "God" point of view and know all the details.
5. I don't remember if blue eyes and blonded hair are said to be symbols of the royal family. However, what is a bigger symbol is their affinity to spirits because of their elf bloodline. The crown prince also mentions that they have a "true form" that they keep hidden. BUT, there are also spirit users who are not of royal bloodline so again...another thing that prevents them from really thinking Luana is the dead princess.
6. Lilliana can't really do alot of things without planning ahead of time. For one, the Emperor is really a figure head. He has no power. He has no actual claim to the throne. The true power is the Empress and the Crown Prince who are running the countr and have been. It seems because of their elf bloodline, they are also slightly immune to black magic.
7. Lilliana's son has no authority or power. He isn't a prince by blood and has no inheritance rights.
8. I think Lilliana has done quite alot. She killed the empress's most loyal guards. She almost succeeded in killing off the crown prince's trusted aides. She only failed because Luana went back in time and discovered the black magic.
9. Honestly I don't even think Lilianna wants the country. I think she just wants to make the royal family suffer. She has some sick obsession and hatred for them because the first Emperor chose the elf noble as queen
THANK YOUUUUU
I must have missed a few things somewhere along the line but this clears up many things.while there's still minor things I feel could be altered regardless but overall that explanation helps out a lot!!
Yeah, I feel the story is underdeveloped too. Personally don't think it's complex enough. Not a fan of the female lead either.