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This hits too close to home.
When I was on my last year of high school I met this amazing girl, that still is my best friend. I thought all my life I was straight. Homosexuality was not an option in my family. They used to say that they were disgusting, going to hell and was not normal. So obviously, I thought that too.
But then, after I met this girl, I felt a different kind of love, so different from my other friends. I cried when I started thinking "why does this feel different?, why? Just why?".
I was scared, of what people will say, what my friends will say, and most of it, what my family will say. So, like her I denied my felling and kept being her friend.
Then we entered university, same major, same classes, same classroom. And one day she told me on a recorded message that she loved me. I didn't know how to react, I was happy, but at the same time terrified of all the things above. So in the end I also ignored what she said.
One week later or so, a guy who was interested in her since we entered the major, started dating her.
It's been 4 years since that, and I thought that I was already okay, but I cried so much after reading this. I remember what I felt when she told me "that's my bf btw" and how empty I felt.
I just want to say to everyone that read this.
Don't be afraid if you feel similar to her. I know how hard is to come with your sexuality, especially if you have people that you are close to that hate the lgbtq+ community.
You're not rushed, come in terms with yourself when you're ready, not because you feel like you need to, but to feel better mentally and with yourself.
Don't let people decide who are you, what to feel and what to do. That something that only YOU can do. If you like girls it's fine, if you like boys it's fine, if you don't that's fine too. There is nothing nothing wrong with that. We are not doing anything wrong, like she said "it's our nature".
It's like I don't like mint and chocolate, but there's plenty of people who do like it. Thats it, let's move on.
People will always have something to hate, but don't let them win, don't let them have what they want. Just you do you, and tell people to focus on their own business, because where they are putting their noses is not.
Just know that you are loved, by me and many many more. You can talk to people just search for the right one, one who wants to listen and understands you.
A one-shot about a girl accepting her identity amidst constant homophobia. Author Weibo: https://www...
- Author: 你好好好菌
- Genres: Shoujo ai / Drama / School life / Yuri / Slice of life