Eme July 22, 2021 4:46 am

This hits too close to home.
When I was on my last year of high school I met this amazing girl, that still is my best friend. I thought all my life I was straight. Homosexuality was not an option in my family. They used to say that they were disgusting, going to hell and was not normal. So obviously, I thought that too.
But then, after I met this girl, I felt a different kind of love, so different from my other friends. I cried when I started thinking "why does this feel different?, why? Just why?".
I was scared, of what people will say, what my friends will say, and most of it, what my family will say. So, like her I denied my felling and kept being her friend.
Then we entered university, same major, same classes, same classroom. And one day she told me on a recorded message that she loved me. I didn't know how to react, I was happy, but at the same time terrified of all the things above. So in the end I also ignored what she said.
One week later or so, a guy who was interested in her since we entered the major, started dating her.

It's been 4 years since that, and I thought that I was already okay, but I cried so much after reading this. I remember what I felt when she told me "that's my bf btw" and how empty I felt.
I just want to say to everyone that read this.
Don't be afraid if you feel similar to her. I know how hard is to come with your sexuality, especially if you have people that you are close to that hate the lgbtq+ community.
You're not rushed, come in terms with yourself when you're ready, not because you feel like you need to, but to feel better mentally and with yourself.
Don't let people decide who are you, what to feel and what to do. That something that only YOU can do. If you like girls it's fine, if you like boys it's fine, if you don't that's fine too. There is nothing nothing wrong with that. We are not doing anything wrong, like she said "it's our nature".
It's like I don't like mint and chocolate, but there's plenty of people who do like it. Thats it, let's move on.
People will always have something to hate, but don't let them win, don't let them have what they want. Just you do you, and tell people to focus on their own business, because where they are putting their noses is not.
Just know that you are loved, by me and many many more. You can talk to people just search for the right one, one who wants to listen and understands you.

    ChinnuZ July 22, 2021 2:05 pm

    It's really inspiring....thankuuu

Esme Pacheco May 19, 2021 4:43 am

Yes it was Isogai-san, yes it was c':

Thank you for the chapter ^°^

Esme Pacheco May 10, 2021 7:56 pm

Yeah, 50 smackers that is their dad xD

Esme Pacheco March 13, 2021 5:52 am

OMGGGG!!!!
I was here!!!!
I bought the chapter in lezhin and now I'm reading it again here, and I just can't stop smiling and crying ;^;
After 71chapters we get the development that we we're waiting for, I'm really happy that Nakyum is getting treated like he deserves.
I wanted Lord Seungho to apologize to Nakyum, but this is enough for me, by telling him and accepting that he has been treating him bad and now just trying to make him feel good.
This chapter can be interpreted in so many ways, by the kisses, the touches, the eyes.
I just can't get enough ;^;

Esme Pacheco March 7, 2021 6:11 am

I just love this couple with my whole body and heart!
They are so healthy and cute!!!
It's been years since I read this and they're still one of my favorite pair
Toujo san is just a chef kiss character ^3^

Esme Pacheco January 26, 2021 5:10 am

I'm shocked of how I remember everything hahaha
I simply love this Manga, is one of my top favorites and one of my first yaoi.
Thank you sooooo so so much for the update, you made my day by reading Onoe and Kaburagi amazing relationship (≧∀≦)

Esme Pacheco November 1, 2020 6:20 am

I agree, we all deserve an Ueda-san in our life's ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ノ~

Thank you so much for the chapter and happy Halloween!!

Esme Pacheco June 24, 2020 6:10 pm

Girls and guys, remember that THIS is an IF story, meaning:
"What would've happened IF Jihyun didn't rape Chiwoo?"
"What would've happened IF he wasn't violent, abuse and tremendously jealous in the first place?"
"What would've happened IF the father didn't treat him like that? "
This is a story that the author herself said that it was to make happy the people that thought about the questions above. To make both sides happy (Jihyun side and Kyujin side). I'm in Kyujin side btw.
I know that we see Jihyun like that, because that's how we read the original story. And truth be told, I felt the same. But lest remember that in this universe none of those bad things happened, Jihyun and Chawoo ARE in a relationship here, because they're in love, one way or another. IF Jihyun didn't do those atrocious things, he and Chiwoo would have end up together in the original story, but that wouldn't be that interesting and long.

So let's be respectful to the people that liked Jihyun. Maybe they're thinking about the questions above, or not hahaha. But everyone's opinion counts c:

    Rose_Bloomer1 June 24, 2020 6:58 pm

    I've never met any comments as accepting and understanding as this. I respect it.

    Cherrybelle55 June 24, 2020 8:10 pm

    Thank you because some are Jihyun fans. People are saying reckless thing to people about their own opinions on a fictional character.

    Esme Pacheco June 25, 2020 4:56 am
    I've never met any comments as accepting and understanding as this. I respect it. Rose_Bloomer1

    Oh my, that means a lot.
    Thank you so much. Have an amazing day c:

    Esme Pacheco June 25, 2020 4:59 am
    Thank you because some are Jihyun fans. People are saying reckless thing to people about their own opinions on a fictional character. Cherrybelle55

    Yeah, I really don't like that people are attacking Jihyun fans, they have their own opinions and I understand them.
    And as you said, this is a fictional story ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭
    Thank you for responding, have an awesome day c;

Esme Pacheco August 11, 2019 5:20 am

Dude! I haven't related this hard with a manga or anything character hahaha
I'm also grass allergic (also pollen and cats xdxd and I love flowers and cats xdxd) and it sucks so baaad, you can't have animals that eat grass, you can go that easy to the park, you can't go to a rabbit café, its so hard. But I'm so happy to see how he (in some kinda unrealistic way haha) managed to keep taking care of the rabbits c':
In real life its not that easy hahaha, he would've probably die since he enter the shop, I can tell you that, because it happened to me, I went to a Japanese rabbit café and since I entered the shop I stopped breathing and and I fainted, It was awful to know that I can't be that close to a rabbit, if I'm not fully protected, hahaha protected, with mask, gloves, super long sleeve shirts or hoodie, to be close to a fluffy and cute rabbit, can you imagine that? hahah
Buuut this is a manga, and he can maybe not be as allergic as I am haha
Either way love so much this mangaka, and the Xxx mangas c':
Have a good day, I'm sure am because this manga gave me the fluffiness for a week hahah

    Nikka ♧ October 9, 2019 1:27 pm

    I've never had allergies (or none that i know of so far in my 21 years of existence) and i don't know if allergy to dust when cleaning my room counts because almost all of us have that but it' nice to know what in real life it would be like. I know someone who has an allergy to seafoods the first time he had his allergic reaction was so bad, an anaphylactic shock, that he was rushed to the emergency room. But as time passed by, he gradually acquired immunity as he is able to eat seafood but still with meds. You're body is continuously fighting off those antigens that's why when you experience the shock and you survived it you develop antibodies but still with the help of antihistamine. I might be wrong. But i think people have different degree of allergy??

    Skyedragon October 11, 2019 9:25 pm
    I've never had allergies (or none that i know of so far in my 21 years of existence) and i don't know if allergy to dust when cleaning my room counts because almost all of us have that but it' nice to know what... Nikka ♧

    Yes thats true some people have an allergy against pollen and react with swollen eyes runny nose and so on other people only have little bit of a runny nose or whatever.. i don't have any allergy's but most of my family and friends do.. so i guess i got lucky? However not everyone reacts the same way..

    Esme Pacheco October 12, 2019 4:12 am
    I've never had allergies (or none that i know of so far in my 21 years of existence) and i don't know if allergy to dust when cleaning my room counts because almost all of us have that but it' nice to know what... Nikka ♧

    Yes, I can truly say to you that sometimes your body wins against the allergies(with the help of vaccines). That actually happened to my mom, she used to have almost the same allergies as me , and she didn't got 100% cured obviously, but her allergies are almost gone, and that was like 20 year ago when she was 17. I'm 20 and I still have the same reactions as when I was little, I don't get better nor worse. I only hope one day my allergies are less risky for me, also I'm happy to hear that your friend is better now c:

    Esme Pacheco October 12, 2019 4:20 am
    Yes thats true some people have an allergy against pollen and react with swollen eyes runny nose and so on other people only have little bit of a runny nose or whatever.. i don't have any allergy's but most of ... Skyedragon

    Ohh happy to hear that you dont have allergies c:
    Yes people react different, I tend to get really bad with them. With pollen I get a really bad runny nose, I get dizzy and my throat starts to swollen, almost not letting me breathe. Those symptoms are almost the same with all my allergies, the vary but are almost the same, I feel like I'm going to faint, its horrible haha
    Have a nice night!

    Nikka ♧ October 12, 2019 7:17 am
    Yes, I can truly say to you that sometimes your body wins against the allergies(with the help of vaccines). That actually happened to my mom, she used to have almost the same allergies as me , and she didn't g... Esme Pacheco

    I hipe you get better too. So you could pet those cute bunnies to your heart's content

    Nikka ♧ October 12, 2019 7:19 am
    Yes thats true some people have an allergy against pollen and react with swollen eyes runny nose and so on other people only have little bit of a runny nose or whatever.. i don't have any allergy's but most of ... Skyedragon

    Agree on not everyone reacts the same way on certain allergens.

    Ritsuuuu December 11, 2019 5:25 am
    Agree on not everyone reacts the same way on certain allergens. Nikka ♧

    yes. i had seafood allergies and i can relate to shouhei abt the 1hr thing. whenever i ate seafoods it always took atleast an hour for the effects, whole body rashes and itchiness. but it's all gone now since i never stopped eating seafoods and my body developed immunity i guess.

Esme Pacheco June 23, 2019 12:15 am

Dahm???
More like DAMN BOY!!!
I'm living for this couple hahaha I just love how different they are from the first couple haha!!
Thank you for the chapter!
(๑•ㅂ•)و✧

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