Lily's Topics (194)

RIGHT? Samuel was so ヾ(☆▽☆) (づ￣ ³￣)づ

Yay, victimblaming!
What about Kan who refused to talk to his partner even after being asked?

Er, abusive relationships are portrayed pretty well here. The victim often times try to blame themselves for their partner's actions, and they stay with their abuser because they are indebted to them, love them, etc. You should read up on actual stories of abusive relationships and how hard it is for people to get out of them.

Yeah it’s like a cycle under such a thing as battered person syndrome. It goes on and on: abuse, victim thinking it’s his fault and tries not to make the same mistakes again, make up, then the cycle begins again. Some psych studies say that the victim is the best one who could help himself and go out of or break the cycle. But it’s not always easy for them to step up and end the cycle. It’s sad victim blaming happens both here and in real life. This manga is just so on point on all these. Truly a good work by tanaka-sensei

You think this is victim blaming? I think that society just can't see shades... You think that because he was abused he is always right, or he can only be portraided as a victim? I think that everyone in a relationship has a responsibility, that's different from blaming someone. I just don't think word is divided in good and bad and I know that when something doesn't work in a relationship everyone as a part. Why Yumi didn't simply walked away? Can you tell me? He could have done that, right? He choose to stay and offer himself, that's so sad for him. And what about you asking about Kan mistakes? Isn't it obvious he couldn't copy well? I said it at the start "no matter who is guilty with what", meaning the thing is when an abusive relationship goes on, it's not just simply a matter of who is guilt, is a little more complicated than that.
I've had abusive father and abusive relationship and after years of psychoanalysis I discovered that if you don't love yourself you kinda give a message of "you can do anything to me, I'm just here to vent your anger".

Yeah that's about that, but not only that. The fact that the victim could esaily break the circle is like a mith... You can't make anything EASILY in this type of situation. I'm not blaming him for not going away immediately, because that's not realistic for me. In fact I'm not blaming him at all,I just think that in this case, in addition of blaming himself (which is totally not right) he thought staying quiet was taking action. He tought "oh, he just had a terrible day,let's keep quiet and hold on" , when in fact he could be more like "oh my god, what he's doing, that's not like him at all, maybe he need help!!" This is also an easier way to break free from an abusive relationship because if you immediately tell the partner "this is not right, we must take action" and he refuses or say "I'm okay" the other part can be more steady and can more likely give an out out.
Yumi wasn't 100% honest with himself and with Kan and couldn't understand the struggle, being carefree and not having a huge family responsibility. I pity both of them, they choose a different method, Ken aggressive and Yumi passive. I really love love this work

same

Same here too