beta
Well, to start, I've been feeling very empty with everything I do. I've been attending therapy for almost 4 years now, and I can't see how I'm developing. I was just okay the year before, but now I can't think of something to be happy about. Sometimes, when I finish some work or a hangout with friends, I start to feel depressed as if it was only a temporary break from my never-ending depression.
For example, when I start to feel depressed, I try to do things that can keep my brain busy, but it's nowhere near working now. I started piano lessons, tried to read books and manga, and joined volleyball and other sports to maintain this feeling of "wanting to live," but I just feel boredom and emptiness. My life is busy also; as I was born with a delicate body, every month I have to go to the hospital for checkups, and currently, I am medicated for my body to keep working.