beta
Feels like this should have remained a novel. That, or a looottt more time needed to go into the pacing of this webcomic. It feels like everything happens so very quickly in a disjointed manner.
Things don't have time to take hold. I find myself wondering "what is happening?" only for the scene to drastically shift again and leave me lost.
Chapter 17 should have been split into multiple chapters. You can't have a "plot shifting" important series of events all take place within 1 chapter and expect it to feel satisfying! By chapter 18 I felt like I'd been bamboozled.
This has the bones of an interesting read. Unfortunately it doesn't deliver.