Story should have ended after the revenge was over. What's the point of adding a love triangle situationship when the ml has already clearly been established? The author probably didnt know what else to write and just threw in a tan hottie with a sprinkle of backstory.
Feels lazy since it raises questions like why hasn't the fl thought about/tried searching for the tan hottie at all even though he seemed important to her, but let's be honest we all know that it's just the product of lazy, impromptu writing. Kinda disappointing coz tan hottie has way more chemistry with fl.
Wow this is bad. Mc is just entirely covered with plot armour, whose only mission is to protect his girls and only troubles is his magician girl/comrades getting in danger. Neither his personality nor his OP abilities are remotely interesting.
Also, 4 chapters in and already 3 women. The magician girl is the peak of characters only added for fan service. From the "mouth to mouth resuscitation" and the stripping of clothes.
And Magician girl keeps collapsing from "intense magical energy emitted" by others or sth, but after collapsing she becomes completely fine with interacting with them afterwards, it is clearly just a show for the author to keep readers reading.
She has been saved by mc 3-4 times already for goodness sake, the epitome of damsel in distress. "One of the strongest magicians" but of course having zero ability to defend herself when mc is around.
Overall plot is not plotting and feels like it's made to be a money grabber by the author. Also needs a harem tag.
I am loving the story right now. The plot seems to be well thought out and the characters are likable.
However, I can't help but notice that the story seems to be really rushed in some parts and have gaps in others. Like I was totally into the whole 3 majors thing but suddenly mc is in class 5, the worst class? Right after mc is literally praised by every single teacher to be an unprecedented genius? I feel like I missed something there but idrk.
Also regarding the fragments of heros, they foreshadowed that the fragments react when the original hero comes in touch with their fragment. Then after that, Kyle comes along and touches his fragment, causing a huge reaction and sending everyone into the heros world. Excellent story telling, wonderful suspense. But like where is the aftermath? There was literally no mention of the incident after that, even though it was definitely a huge deal. And no suspicions abt why fragment reacted with mc. Not even an explanation on why it shouldn't be a huge deal. Just abrupt ending of the arc.
It feels like I'm being served a 5 star 8 course meal, but midway eating they skip from course 3 to course 5, and yes I'm enjoying the food but I'm also wondering where did course 4 go and will it ever come. Also with this pace, it's like I'm being rushed to gobble up every dish they serve, forced to eat the next course before being able to savour the taste of the previous one.
Will I still eat the full meal though? Absolutely
(Also if anyone can explain to me the class 5 thing plsss tell me I'm dying to know, just in case I actually skipped a chapter/panel or 2 by accident)
No because I'm wondering the same thing!
And it's not just mc... that white haired girlie is sister of the long haired one and was also ranked high right? And she was also put in class 5... why? How? Where's the logic? Id get if it was random but they did say it's the class of students expected to fail so... I'm also utterly confused...
And same about rushing and plotholes... I'm left feeling it's not bad but not good either... cuz it could be executed better...
I also got confused with the class assignments, one moment they were together in Class 5 then suddenly some of them got moved in Class 1 to compete with them.
While the fl's situation really tugs at my heartstrings, the reactions and actions of the people around ml and fl are so fkin funny. I've never before laughed in tears while the tears were from sadness
I went into it fully prepared to not be so disappointed coz it's a oneshot, but damn the story is so good that I alr forgot it was a oneshot when I finished reading it. I clicked on next chapter fully expecting another one and now I'm sad
I know that the "soft top strong bottom" trope has been relatively prevalent in recent years, but really like how this story does the trope. The bottom isn't some tsundere or looks strong but actually is a huge softie, and the top isn't some pushover nor a wolf in sheep's clothing. Not that I have anything against those types of couples but most stories of this trope have at least one of the above traits, and it's really refreshing how it's done here, ESPECIALLY how natural the rls develops and how they fall for each other. They have real chemistry yall~~
The plot towards the end might be morally dubious, but a story doesn't have to be morally righteous to be decent. I like how the father's viewpoint was given "proper" logical justification, and how the ml didn't forgive the father just by hearing his side of the story(since obviously father was in the wrong), but is still willing to interact with father afterwards, whether it was for giving father a chance or for personal growth. It gives us food for thought on whether we could have done better than father in those circumstances, and overall makes the story much more than just smut.
I like how the author gave a rationale to why the workers were treating mc so we'll even though it is quite obv she isn't the daughter. It explains the actions of the workers quite well.
~spoilers up to ch13 ahead~
The only thing I am a bit urked about is the actions of the mc. It seems she wants revenge for the original daughter, yet is taking no actions to tattletale, and keeps worrying about the duke thinking that she isnt the actual daughter. She then proceeds to flee the mansion after thinking the duke isn't going to accept her, and goes to find the abusers by herself? Like what was she doing?
I'm actually not saying that her actions are illogical. Even if it is illogical, since mc is an actual child, it can be shown as her naivety. However the author isn't conveying the mc's thoughts at all.
If I were to craft the story about the mc while maintaining the plot from ch1-13 so far, I would do this:
- mc wants to seek revenge for the original daughter, therefore she steals the keepsake and goes to the duke
- however due to the mistreatment she has experienced and her guilt of impersonating her best friend, she is extremely scared of the duke not believing her words, and would instead accuse her of stealing the keepsake.
- Therefore she decides to lay low for now, since if the daughter exists, her abuser wouldn't be able to send anyone impersonating the real daughter
- after she misunderstood the duke, thinking that he knows that she isn't the real daughter and about to kick her out, she panics and tries to think of another way to get revenge.
- she thinks about how the abusers were going to the imperial ball, and thinks maybe she can get her revenge by announcing the misdeeds of the abusers about killing the duke's daughter in front of everyone.
- (honestly it's pretty hard to justify why tf she went to the abusers but this is the best my small brain can do. Maybe I would use cartoonish drawings to show the naivety of the plan, implying that this plan was likely not going to be feasible)
- but before she could even start, her plan fails when she was blocked outside the venue. She tries to get in by luring the guards away, telling them to go find the abuser, the only person she knew was at the ball, but it backfires on her
Lol anyways that's what I would do. Spent way too long typing this out haha
She is just a traumatized child who is impulsive; it's very in character for a kid.
I agree, but her actions are not exactly what I'm criticizing. Tdlr I just thought it would be nice to follow along with mc's thought process. Which the author didn't write about. It's not about the actions, it's about the storytelling.
I think no matter how impulsive someone is, there is always that thought or feeling that drives the action. Moreover, most impulsive actions are driven behind instinctive feelings like curiosity and fear, but the "finding abusers out of nowhere" plot seems a bit sus. There is no way a traumatized child would seek out their source of trauma impulsively. Of course unless it's very specific situations like Stockholm syndrome, but it seems to not be likely in this scenario.
Oh well ig I asking the author to let us understand the mc was too much.
I think she wasn’t driven by a fear of being exposed as a fraud. While her actions were impulsive, they may have been written to reflect the mindset of an abused child—one who prioritises her friend’s dream over her own well-being. A child’s capacity for self-sacrifice, especially in the face of trauma, can be immense. In her case, the fear of letting her friend down outweighed the fear of confronting her abusers.
I think she wasn’t driven by a fear of being exposed as a fraud. While her actions were impulsive, they may have been written to reflect the mindset of an abused child—one who prioritises her friend’s dream over her own well-being. A child’s capacity for self-sacrifice, especially in the face of trauma, can be immense. In her case, the fear of letting her friend down outweighed the fear of confronting her abusers. (￣∇￣")
That is a really interesting take! I would have never thought of this since my train of thought is fundamentally different from yours. Even as a child, I believed that dreams were meaningless if you didn't act on it, and moreso if you're dead. Kinda relevant in this case coz their dream was to live *together* in the duke's mansion. Friend dead, cannot together, dream gone.
Also iirc the dream had nothing to do with revenge and the abusers, so I don't really get how not confronting the abusers would let the friend down, do feel free to explain your thought process! (๑•ㅂ•)و✧ For me, I feel that as a child I would have done everything I could to stay in the mansion if I prioritized not letting my friend down. I used to be very impulsive and bad at seeing the big picture, so the duke would probably hate me for it which would hinder me from achieving my goal. This sounds like a villainess story LOL
But this shows how people can think very differently, and reiterates my point about how the author should have been clearer about the thought process of the mc. It's honestly the author's one job and it kinda sucks that we readers need to take over and tell the story for the author. (〜￣△￣)〜
That’s a really interesting perspective! I see what you mean about how the dream itself wasn’t directly tied to confronting the abusers, and I think it really highlights how she saw securing her place with the duke as dependent on severing all loose ends. Her willingness to go to such lengths suggests that she wasn’t just acting on impulse but out of a deep-seated belief that ensuring her friend’s dream lived on was more important than her own safety. In fact, her friend’s death may have reinforced this conviction, as she could have seen it as the final wish left for her to fulfil, turning it from a shared dream into an obligation she couldn’t abandon.
For me, the way I see it is that the MC might have felt that failing to take action, even if that action wasn’t directly about revenge, would be a betrayal of her friend’s hopes. Since their dream was to live together in the duke’s mansion, she may have believed that letting herself be held back by fear or hesitation would mean failing her friend in some way. Children, especially those who have been abused, often have a very complex relationship with fear, loyalty and self-worth, and I think her prioritising her friend’s dream over her own safety speaks to that.
But I totally agree that the author should have made the MC’s thought process clearer. The fact that we’re having to piece it together ourselves just shows how much was left ambiguous, which can be frustrating when it feels like a crucial part of understanding the character!
Sorry i wrote a lot but these are my perspective on it
(=・ω・=)
No worries, I find it really fun to read about various perspectives on the same topic XD
Honestly I totally agree with your point about her actions are more than just impulsive decisions. She seemed to be very determined and smart for her age was well, considering that she knew that she needed the papers to escape the orphanage without consequences, made an entire plan to steal them and acted on it, then travelling by herself to the duke's mansion, somewhere she has never been before.
Also thanks for sharing your perspective, now I can see why she would go to such lengths to confront the abusers. Especially if she viewed her friend as better than herself, which was often implied through her praise of her friend, as well as the title implying that she was the "extra" in the story. The thought of fulfilling the dream for her friend must have also given her strength and determination, conquering the fear she might have felt. It was very nice talking to you ヾ(☆▽☆)
OMG YESSSS EXACTLY THAT I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO ADD THAT TO WHAT I WAS SAYING (▰˘◡˘▰) it was really nice taking to you (ノ≧∇≦)ノ
In my opinion, the mc might have gone to the abusers because she didn't felt as secure ,YET, with the duke as taking actions herself. And after all, the duke was still skeptical of her, while the mc on the other hand was also weary of the duke with additional guilt of "lying" to him. And hearing the words that's been said at the garden I think she built more walls around the duke, thinking he might be unreliable.
Of course that's just my take... (￣∇￣")
yeah i totally agree with you she was defo trying to make sure she secures herself Thanks for the input
ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ
This is what I call a negative and a negative becomes a positive. Mc is now less of a menace to society and god now has an outlet for his desires, a win win situation lol
I wrote a whole ass essay talking about how powerful the storytelling is and how realistic the story felt, from the plot to every side character feeling like they have their own egos and lives. But I pressed the back button and everything is gone lol.
Anyways definitely deserves a much higher rating than 8.8, you can tell that the author put a lot of thought into the story. It's the opposite of mass produced regurgitated storylines you commonly see nowadays. Definitely give it a try, and be prepared for tears, if you cry easily don't read this in public HAHA