I hate myself for finding Cole so damn relatable. So allow me to rant about it
I'd hate to have a kid since I wouldn't want to bring anyone remotely similar to me to the world. I have a huge insecurity complex towards all my friends, and when I had a partner, towards them too. And to top it off, I'm a gay disaster. Like a literal disaster, a mess.
I know that as I am today, I would never, under any circumstances, point a gun at someone or try to hurt myself in front of the person I love, but... When I was at my lowest some years ago I could have done it. Maybe not pointing a gun at my partner, but I coule have done the hurting myself in front of others part. Heck, I even vaguely remember doing it once.
Since then I've already gone through therapy and medication, and I've apologized to everyone I hurt. I hope that this will end with Cole going to therapy and getting medication since I feel it could help him a lot. At the beginning I hated him, but now I see so much of myself (past and present) in him that I can't help but root for him and want him to get better and live a happy life.
I'm so frustrated with the ending and the story in general. It could have been an amazing story as it touched subjects like outing, trauma (including religious trauma), and the bdsm community as a marginalized one. But it didn't develop any of them. Sure it has a lot of good moments, but the bad after taste that it leaves in your mouth overshadows all of those good moments. I wish I'd never read this tbh, cause now I'm so frustrated.
Also no hate to the pink haired girl, she did make a lot of mistakes but she still tried to do her best and always apologized when she needed to. If anything, I feel sometimes ml did her wrong, like when the whole thing with the blog went down. Why would she need to apologize when she didn't posted pictures of him not any of his information there? The whole story was just so messy
At the beginning I was really intrigued by how fl was gonna evolve as a character, but in the end she didn't change at all. She still doesn't know how to be alone, and she doesn't know how to put herself first. The one who changed was the ml and that change wasn't exactly for the best. He went from being a person with clear boundaries and a lot of self love, to going alone with whatever FL needed even if that meant he wasn't going to be happy.
And don't get me started with how they did the ex boyfriend dirty. He never cheated on her, he just fell out of love and broke up with her (and honestly, who wouldn't wanna break up with a girl as clingy as she was). He even sacrificed his own happiness to try and save her. There was never malicious intent behind his actions. But what does he get? The invisible illness. If anything the one who deserved a sad ending was the ex girlfriend who did have malicious intent and didn't care for what happened to FL.
I hated this
I hope we can get an angst free chapter with next update. I get the feeling this is gonna be a long run series and I'm scared that they'll have some kind of miscommunication in next chapter