
I want to be someone's ocean ╥﹏╥

MY dearest cat lady, I am 20 and I may sound cheese with my hunny over there @10214 but the last and only bf I had made me want to spend the rest of my life alone and with maybe a dog, he was just too... cheese, his favorite movie genre is romance and his whole mushy persona was too much for me because I am dry as fuck and my sense of humor is perfect for watching deadpool (just watched the second one and it was awesome). I like cuteness once in a while but not every fucking second. Also my ex was controling af and sent my self esteem to the floor and below and it still haunts me because I think that maybe it was my fault for breaking up with him and not giving enough of me, that if I was more romantic and listened and did what he said maybe it would have worked out because he seemed to really like me and all that shit, sometimes my rational side tells me that I shouldn't have to change for someone and that if I had stayed with him I would have gone to a really bad place mentally and emotionally because I was not stable and still am not stable. I even saw a psychologist and she really helped (she had to go on leave, I hope she has a safe delivery and a healthy child) and I hope to see her on another appointment. Oh gosh I ramble too much sometimes, my ex used to shush me (fuck him). I forgot where I was going with this..... I don't think you don't believe in love but rather make yourself believe you don't believe in love. It will happen, maybe not soon but it will happen and when it happens it will not matter if you aren't cheese because that person will love you for who you are as a whole with all of your cats and not just fragments of you. Don't force it to happen, don't expect it to happen, it will just happen.
now, my hun @10214 if you read this, I am not the prettiest or healthiest of oceans. I am quite muddy and full of extra stuff that shouldn't be there but, will you still want me to be your ocean?

I am convinced that was the moment he started falling for Ryo
http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/mother_s_spirit/mf/v01/c002/27/
I screamed in exasperation for our smol fuck boy then I felt a punch in the gut while he talked with our smol cinnamon roll and then there was hope that he might change and start to love himself and find love. then I thought maybe maayyybe K sensei would realize that he should let our bun with A sensei because he is just happy and it hurt to see his face when he said no and then I was like "FFUUUCCCKKKKK" he is just suffering by holding on just like our smol fuckboy, he needs to let go and feel like shit for a couple of days to heal and find happiness. and I want to see how their talk will go.