I think it's best to hear it from people actually engaging with lolita fashion, plenty of them have made videos explaining where the esthetic came from and why they like it.
Lolita youtuber Lovely Lor has made a few videos on this but TLDR : it is NOT inspired but the novel by Nabokovs, it's inspired by Roccoco and Victorian fashion like you said. ...... reply
Dear Gene (mature)
Shimanami Tasogare (all audiences)
Kemutai Hanashi (all audiances, very low key but feels very comforting as an aspec reader) 1 reply
We can't really know for sure since it might be different from individual to individual but I've read quite a few articles about it and it seem a popular theory is just because of society's view toward sex. As well it still being a popular trope, probably because of aforementioned views of sex.
You're expected to have it yet you can't be perceived...... reply
Fujoshi and Fudanshi are term that were reclaimed by Japanese BL enjoyers (like some LGBTQ+ people reclaimed "Queer") they come with a specific cultural aspect and history, I would encourage anyone to read about it. I think the feeling is nice but it's not words you, me or anyone can simply "decide" to change because we feel they have a negative co...... 2 reply