Yuuri's Favorite

Can someone suggest a yaoi where the uke gets raped by the seme (who then regrets it) or when he rapes him and stops in the middle because he realizes how scared the uke is. The yaoi needs to have some romance so not pure rape. Pleeeeeeaaaaaaseeeeee

where the uke was raped once before (not by seme) and he gets traumatized

and the seme helps him by being gentle ofcours not right immediately he tries multiple times but if the uke says STOP then he actually stops
not the type of he gets raped and shit im late for my lesson in school and he forgets all about it a realistic one preferred

with moments like whenever the uke gets touched he thinks of the "bastard" and then the seme goes like "well I make u feel real good that you don't remember the bastard but me instead" or I'll clean where he dirtied you type of thing

also they don't need to ONLY show love with sex but even have naked hugs or kisses or just actually sleep together without the banging

(writing this made me feel so perverted lol)

or any other manga where the seme is trying to force himself but stops when he sees the uke cry he stops and hugs him and ask for forgiveness

I would also love to see one like "cut" or "Ten Count" (like not liking to be touched and the seme works hard for him)

I rather see one that has completed or more then oneshot I don't like to read a short manga that ends too soon

im a sucker for traumatized uke's or sad ukes with phobias (any type of phobia) that find happiness with the seme but it has to be revolved around the phobia not just a One time mention of it
oh and happy ending is a must or an open ending where you can at least imagine them getting together and if they die or something they have to both die together in eachothers arms not one left behind

I've been looking for a long time and even the lists don't show what im looking for
sorry for the long question