beta
I was once desperate too to get the approval and affection of my siblings. They hated me and I tried my best to please them in any way possible. I really feel him everything he did and went through I went through as well. They were abusive and shit but I forgot everything the moment they showed a lil bit of affection.... It took a long while until I understood that they will never like me and nothing will change.... No matter what you do.
So if anyone is in the same situation then just believe me... Fuxk them and just live your life. No matter what you do everything will be wrong in their eyes. The smallest mistake you do will be used against you and no sane person would hit they younger siblings no matter what especially trying to unaliving you. I know for anyone who didn't went through that shit it's obvious as fuck but when you are a kid you can't comprehend what it actually means on top of that they are teaching you how everything they do to you is your fault. Because I behaved a certain way they had to do these things to me.
So yeah... It's hard to get out of that situation because the moment you cut them off or anything you feel guilty
Eventho they don't even care if you are there or not.
But you feel like the most horrible person ever.
Don't go back.
Don't hold back.
I am glad I read this today cuz it was like a visualization of my situation and how stupid it is to cry after these horrible ppl.
I hope one day I won't think of them anymore and just be able to live my life.
And feel absolutely nothing towards them.
I just wanna forget the pain and sorrow an heal from them.
I know tmi but I hope that anyone who goes through that knows that they are not alone and are hopefully be able to get away from that.