Not all this "how did you get in my house?" business.
I started to suck using one hand to fuck my ass and the other to help push my own dick into my mouth. I got so far. I went all they way down until my nose brushed my slightly-hairy, bumpy sack. I licked and sucked my balls. Then I ran my tongue up my dick and the ridges of my veins. When I got to the head I sucked and kissed it, then ran my tongu......
Gay: Fuck him Lesbian: Fuck her Bisexual: Fuck you, and also you Polysexual: Fuck them Pansexual: Fuck everyone Omnisexual: Fuck the lot of you Demisexual: Fuck you in particular Queer: Fuck this Straight: Fuck that Asexual: Fuck no
I have a brother and we share everything with each other. One day his wife had just given birth and after thanking his doctor he pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?" After winking at him he said," I'm off duty in 10 minutes - meet me at the car park."
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he's going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I thi......
I told my mom I got pregnant. She actually flipped out until she realized I was a guy.
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people ......
11 gay men and 1 straight man are locked in a house. The object for the gay men is to find out who isn't gay. Once a week someone gets outvoted, until two are left, or the straight man is out. If the gays manage to outvote him, they win 1 million dollars. If the straight man is among the two last people in the house in the end, he wins 1 million do......
...until you listen to them with your parents in the car.
Yesterday kids kept on ding dong ditching me so the last time they rang my bell I got soo annoyed I opened the door with a big knife shouting, "PREPARE TO DIE". I scared a Jehovah's witnesses.
Name top 5 things you would bring with you. 1. A knife. 2. First aid kit. 3. Water. 4. Food. 5. Binoculars.
While I was out shopping today I tripped in the store, a woman saw this and wouldn't stop staring so I smiled at her and said, "sorry, it's been a while since I possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom. The other three guys start talking about how successful their sons are. Guy1: My son is so successful he owns a car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferrari. Guy2: That's nothing, my son is so successful he owns an airline company and just gave his best frie......
Pronouns: She/Her They/Them
Sexuality: Ace ♤
I'm a Virgo
INTJ
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