Loneliness maxxing
drippy abbacchio June 24, 2024 7:08 pm

I'm so fucking lonely dawg I don't quite notice it until something good/bad/funny happens in my life and I have no one to share it with or when i think of something funny but I realise i will probably never get a chance to talk about it irl. It's so weird I'm in my early 20s and depression is eating away my life I dont see a future and I'm slowly becoming more isolated. I used to have a lot of friends like when I say a lot I mean A LOT. I had multiple friendgroups with 8 people minimum in each group. But I grew out of them and I never connected with anyone that deeply. I recently found out I'm neurodivergant so I'm guessing that's the reason but at times I feel like I'm someone very insignificant and invisible. It's painful sometimes thinking that I'll be living for more than the next 5 years. I should start smoking

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    JaeJae June 24, 2024 7:13 pm

    Do you wanna build a snowman

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    Yoohan June 24, 2024 7:40 pm

    I personally believe one friend who doesn't judge and always actively listens to you is better than a thousand friends. Everyone finds that special friend someday. One day you will too.
    You can always try to make friends online like discord n all but don't dive too deep without security in mind.
    I suggest you develop various hobbies, just dabble into anything that interests you even if you are bad, keep yourself busy and negative thoughts at bay.
    And you must absolutely not start smoking.
    Hope you have a happy and healthy life ahead, my sincere wishes with you.

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    drippy abbacchio June 24, 2024 7:44 pm
    Do you wanna build a snowman JaeJae

    Yes. I ain't elsa

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    drippy abbacchio June 24, 2024 7:58 pm
    I personally believe one friend who doesn't judge and always actively listens to you is better than a thousand friends. Everyone finds that special friend someday. One day you will too. You can always try to ma... Yoohan

    Thankyou friend. I used to have a lot of hobbies. These days I can't find the motivation to do the slightest thing. I also have my finals coming up and i can barely study. I've started taking anti depressants this week though let's see how that goes. I feel tired when I think about socializing it's not like i hate the idea of being alone but I do feel very lonely from time to time. I think I'll just have to find hobbies that includes having a community or something. Thankyou for your reply though, it's nice reading kind words

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    Mondlichtkatze June 24, 2024 8:15 pm

    I feel you! i lost most my friends at that time too. i was fortunate enough to have 2 VERY close friends though. and like drippy said; 1 ore 2 very close friends are much better and much more important than having many friends. when i was 20 i got diagnosed with sozial phobia and depression and im trying to get better through therapie since then. im 31 now and i can tell you; it gets better! just dont give up! through group therapie i got to know that there are a LOT of people like us out there. way more than one would think.
    Just try out new things slowly. dont force it and dont overwhelm yourself. i believe you can do it (๑•ㅂ•)و✧

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    drippy abbacchio June 24, 2024 9:26 pm
    I feel you! i lost most my friends at that time too. i was fortunate enough to have 2 VERY close friends though. and like drippy said; 1 ore 2 very close friends are much better and much more important than hav... Mondlichtkatze

    Thankyou katze, this does make me hopeful in a positive way. I have one close friend but I don't feel connected to them and I'm slowly starting to grow apart from them which makes me think if I'll be all alone in a year or two but I guess that's the way of life. I do hope that I can meet someone I truly feel comfortable and content with. Someone I can just sit around with if anything

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    ☆ June 24, 2024 11:28 pm

    I feel this so much, I have friends but I don't feel like I've ever really connected with them? They can also occasionally be kinda mean and it puts me off. I especially feel you on the feeling insignificant and invisible, it's also hard to even make friends bc of my social anxiety but I hope you make friends and I hope I do too!

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    drippy abbacchio June 25, 2024 8:17 pm
    I feel this so much, I have friends but I don't feel like I've ever really connected with them? They can also occasionally be kinda mean and it puts me off. I especially feel you on the feeling insignificant an... ☆

    RIGHT OMG it's like idk I wish I were a guy so I could randomly talk to strangers without any precautions and not be seen and overly suspicious or an easy target. It's hard for me to express myself and I somehow always end up pushing people away in fear of abandonment and I'm lowkey very mentally ill than I give myself credit for. I just wish I were more functional if that makes sense. It's really hard to go on sometimes. I've always wanted a significant other whom I can love without holding back but that idea feels very unrealistic because I'm aromantic and I don't feel any romantic feelings at all. Not to mention I've been disappointed by people and failed relationships so much that I've given up the idea of ever loving someone like that.

    Sorry I kinda rambled on. I've been out of it lately haha

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Shoujo manga rec!!
drippy abbacchio May 13, 2024 10:28 pm

I wanna read shoujo manga where the female lead is pretty and she knows it and isn't a crybaby or annoying(tsundere), i really likes stories where they're being themselves and don't feel ashamed by it.

Either that or a manga where the male lead has emotions. WHAT IS WITH THE COOL MALE LEAD TROPE HOW IS SHOWING LITTLE TO NO EMOTION CONSIDERED COOL I DONT GET IT. Wanna see an obsessed, in love, expressive, nice wholesome male lead man is that too much to ask for ༎‿༎

Side note: age gap makes me uncomfortable also i FUCKING HATE namaikizakari<3

Sorry for having such a detailed preference if you have anything like it please feel free to recommend, i dont mind what genre it is as long as it's not bl(I'm trying to give up reading bl and p in general because reduces grey matter to ur brain i really feel a lot more stupider than i was 5 years ago. I hope you guys also are able to grow out of p eventually and are able to find healthy hobbies and copes and pass times!! Have a great day guys)

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