did the last chapter make me cry? yes.
the fireworks, the fair. it's a direct callback to joohae's first date when they skipped school. them bickering like an old married couple just makes me feel like everything is right in the world damn. i just... i'm gonna miss them so much IT HURTS T^T
not gonna miss taku though lol.
"It's okay now, you have me"
"I almost feel like crying" / "Same here"
WHY IS THIS STORY SO QUOTABLE. I WANT TO CRY TOO OUT OF HAPPINESS. THE JOOHAE ENDGAME WE DESERVE HAS BEEN DELIVERED.
my heart is so happy for haesoo and joowon
they are the bestest boys, they deserve this happiness.
i really cant stop grinning while reading this chapter
This chapter made me want to see a bottom Joowon
Fun fact: It's canon that Joowon has bottomed for Haesoo at least once (Haesoo tells Taku that he's tried topping a few times, and who else would he try this with but Joowon who is all his firsts??). Haesoo said he didn't like it, but i still want to see it lol
Haesoo holding Joowon's chin, and stroking his face as he says to Joowon 'It's okay now, you have me", and telling Joowon his likes/dislikes?
Wow I never knew I needed a dominant Haesoo this badly until now.
joowon haesoo, my precious bbs ;-; they deserve all of this after going through so much pain due to them being unable to confess their true feelings, and truly be together. "It's okay you have me now" BRB MY EYES ARE WATERING
why did the uploader have to put taco bell's face at the end. ion wanna see him bleh.
ah just another day of scrolling through the love or hate comment section and wondering how many taku stans can be so illiterate. like some of yall genuinely are not mature enough to understand this story.
this is it folks. this is the sex scene with the most flavour and intimacy and genuine love in this story.
the conversation between haesoo and joowon was so soft and intimate and made me all shy- it felt like i shouldnt even have been reading it aaaaa :") i am SO HAPPY FOR THEM AND LOVE TO SEE THEM HAPPY TOGETHER (and haesoo getting his personality back instead of being all blank and looking dead inside >>>>)
anyway i'm so single brb crying
kinda annoyed at this uploader. why do they keep uploading on the same day that this manhwa is posted? like stoooop. the previous uploader didnt do this and gave 3 days gap to support the author on the official site. but this new person keeps uploading OVER the previous one.
joowon's sexy back. aka the back that carries this manhwa. MY EYES HAVE BEEN BLESSED
he got so much more buff and tan and wtf he's just SO SEXY DAMN,, i was so tired of weird sex scenes with that mop head soggy noodle pls
Happiness is such a good look on Haesoo.
He looks even prettier than usual and that's saying something (cause he always looks pretty)
I only made this account to
write essays abt LOH because
i didnt know where I supposed
to throw all my thoughts &
word vomit on this story huh??
Anyway, support the author: https://www.lezhin.com/en/comic/loveorhate_en ♡
"Not a day went by when I didn't think about you"
"I'm still greedy for you"
"I want you to want me so bad it hurts"
IM CRYINNNNNG. THE WRITING IS SO GOOD. IM SO SINGLE PLS. AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY'RE MY ABSOLUTE FAV.
Okay but Haesoo appreciation.
The fact that his first thought this chapter is how he was worried that Joowon would regret being with him, because he didn't want Joowon to lose anything for his sake... shows JUST HOW MUCH he truly cares about Joowon ;-; In the past, he let his own insecurities and inner conflict blind him, enough that he wanted Joowon to suffer. But now he only wants Joowon to be okay and happy in their relationship, and that's true growth right there. I'm so proud of him (I was so proud of him at the hospital too, admitting his mistakes and realizing how wrong he was for wanting Joowon to lose out or get hurt on his account).
"I didn't spend a day without missing you"
"I'm still greedy for you"
"I want you to want me so bad it hurts"
I LOVE THESE LINES BRUH
The comment section is always nice and peaceful, until taku stans come on with their fake woke incest agenda and call joowon trash for absolutely not stated reason or with any evidence. This is why we dont like yall and yall should head back to tiktok where you belong with your other brainless taco frens with no reason comprehension <3
It will never ever make sense to me ppl's fixation of painting Joowon as "the bad guy" in Joohae's relationship, when its not what LOH depicts AT ALL. "In hindsight, everyone is a perpetrator and victim” —Joowon, Chapter 2 // This quote right here has to be the most DEFINING quote for these two, and I wanted to write an essay about it (yes it's a literal ESSAY IM SORRY).
When the story starts, we see Haesoo feeling hurt, claiming Joowon doesnt care about them and projecting him in a bad light + we see JW's attitude & his *possessiveness*... But we quickly learn that Joowon acts that way because Haesoo manipulates his emotions. Haesoo says its the "relationship I manipulated because I craved an obsessive love”, and he "builds walls, so Joowon can tear them down”. Meanwhile Joowon is also in the wrong as he's immature, impulsive & acts on ALL of Haesoo’s provocations. They inflict these actions on each other because they're BOTH insecure about their r/s. Because defining a relationship usually gives parties a sense of security... so what happens in an UNDEFINED dynamic where they can’t officially be "lovers", and can’t voice their true feelings either?? Well: there's no security in the relationship. That’s why Joowon and Haesoo keep up this push/pull tactic. It's the only way they can affirm they're “each other’s”. The fact that Joowon only acts within the confines of their jealousy games/Haesoo's manipulation, is proven further when they break up: HS narrates, "the game is over", and we see Joowon actually give Haesoo SPACE cause he knows his boundaries and where the lines are drawn. He still clearly loves Haesoo though, so he tries to protect him in the background (eg: when leo told him shady stuff abt taku, the bullying scandal, etc.)
Now that leads to the question: why did Joohae stay in this sort of hurtful open relationship for so long, if they love each other?? Well in short: its cause of their PARENTS.
Haesoo’s reason for not wanting to define the relationship: he fears that he’ll lose his mom if he makes things serious with Joowon. His mom spent ages guilt tripping him for her divorce + tells him she can’t love him if he loves Joowon. The guilt Haesoo feels isn't JUST towards his mom though. It's towards Joowon too. Haesoo constantly projects Joowon's life as "perfect" and feels so inferior at the success of JW's career. So he thinks he's the "only one suffering" (hence painting JW as the asshole who doesnt care). He also seems to see himself as a hindrance to Joowon & thinks JW will be much happier with a marriage, kids, etc. And Haesoo's thoughts AREN'T really Joowon's fault. Joowon never said he wanted a "normal" life, or tried to make HS feel like a burden. He always called Haesoo, told him he missed him, tried to spend all his free time w him despite his busy work. So I think most of HS's insecurities stem from his mom acting like he doesnt deserve her love, and his mom making him think he's a burden ("Am I that much of a hindrance to you?"). It clearly left Haesoo emotionally broken.
Now... Joowon's reason for not wanting to define the relationship: It started, after Joohae were caught as teens and JW was hit with a harsh reality. He got slapped by HS's mom and Haesoo even said: "I’m scared of my feelings for you”. It made Joowon think Haesoo can’t handle their relationship getting serious. JW felt driven into a corner, so he said, “Don’t fall for me and I won’t fall for you”. This is Joowon's foolish attempt to PROTECT them from being separated. He wanted to frame their r/s as “nothing serious, we’re just fooling around” to make things less complicated. He was also trying to protect Haesoo, knowing he can’t make Haesoo lose his mom. Joowon's dad deeply affects his actions too. After the highschool fight issue, he tells Joowon that Haesoo is gonna abandon him, and he shouldn’t start things he'll fail. Joowon takes this to heart after the divorce, where the mom makes Haesoo leave without even telling Joowon. Ofc he now thinks he’s been “abandoned” cause things got too serious for Haesoo, and that everything his father said was TRUE. His father gaslights him for years that Haesoo will abandon him. So Joowon literally thinks the ONLY WAY Haesoo will be with him, is through this ambiguous relationship.
Now. Consider both perspectives: Joowon never insisted that he wanted an official r/s because he thinks Haesoo will drop him otherwise. And Haesoo never insisted on what he truly wanted either (an official r/s! the same thing! WOW~ lmao) because the guilt he felt towards his mother overtook all of that. They willingly chose this, and the ambiguity of their relationship hurts BOTH of them, but they endure it cause they love each other and they wanted to stay together no matter what. Haesoo confirms it when he says "It’s painful because we know we can’t have it, that’s why we kept it ambiguous for 10 years”. Haesoo kept going back to Joowon for years. That’s what made Joowon arrogant and had him thinking, “Haesoo is fine with this. Haesoo can’t live without me. I knew he'd never leave me if we keep our relationship ambiguous”, and Haesoo never communicated otherwise. The remarriage suddenly made all of HS's fears abt losing his mom too real: hence why he walks out first, leaving Joowon to rethink EVERYTHING about what Haesoo truly wanted.
So in the end: who's the victim, and who's the perpetrator? You could say both... or NEITHER. At the end of the day, Haesoo and Joowon were just 2 people who loved each other since they were teenagers, but could never communicate it for their own reasons. They BOTH willingly got into these roles of an ambiguous relationship and kept up unhealthy cycles of jealousy. And they did it to be with e/o without having to be honest about their feelings, or face the consequences of their relationship. Through distance and time spent apart: they realized they feared never telling eo their true feelings FAR MORE, than whatever they could lose as a result of their love. That’s why in the end Haesoo asks Joowon if he regrets their relationship due to Joowon’s career and dad and everything... Haesoo was always worried about that: that if they chose each other, they'd come to resent each other for their losses (he says it in their breakup). But Joowon being the ride or die man he is, says he regrets nothing & he doesnt care about that as long as he’s with Haesoo. These two possibly have the most conflicting relationship I’ve read in a while— but they way they make realizations, develop, and change their mindset all so realistically to reach the conclusion they do is quite beautiful to me <33
The reviews and comments are kinda wild lol. Like do people not understand the purpose of doujins or fanfiction??? Its meant to give readers a chance to see and imagine their characters in non canon situations. Like... ppl want to see Ash and Eiji have a simple and cute life, instead of struggling or getting hurt. There’s nothing wrong with the events in this dj either. It’s a consensual and healthy scenario between a couple. Also Ash’s trauma doesnt mean he cant have sex or be a bottom??? That’s a gross misconception of survivors of sexual assault.