so after reading the first 11 chapters I went ahead and read the novel and well...the couple dynamic was so incredibly uncomfortable that I felt like puking at the end, no joke.
the ML is obsessed with the protagonist since he was 7 years old (after getting saved by him) and considers him his God. that dependency does not change and gets even more twisted in the worst possible way, with sexual assault. considering that, I thought he'd be the bigger issue here, but truth be told, the MC, who is 10 years older the the ML, is the worst part of all (in respect to how icky I felt). saving that kid became a major moment in his life, he even says that his ideal type stems from it: a cute, fragile person that makes you want to protect them. when he meets the ML again and guards him FOR A MONTH when they're 17 & 27, he mentioned that parting with him made him cry harder that the death of his wife and child (younger brother in the manga) ... OK. 10 years later when they meet again, with him in a different body, is clear that his feelings have not changed. he sees the ML as a poor young boy whom only he can save. when they start having sex, he doesn't even like it, just let's it go because the ML really looks like he needs it and he just wants to make him feel happy. he's just OK with their relationship turning sexual just like that? despite the fact that he's been like a guardian to him thus far, one who taught him card tricks and pet his hair while he was having nightmares? he barely even knows adult ML, in his eyes he's basically the same kid... it's just SO uncomfortable. it didn't feel like love, it felt like co-dependency, obsession, and a weird sense of duty, mixed with lust.
2022-03-20 08:27 marked
this is a review