I only made this account to
write essays abt LOH because
i didnt know where I supposed
to throw all my thoughts &
word vomit on this story huh??
Anyway, support the author: https://www.lezhin.com/en/comic/loveorhate_en ♡
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER, THEY DESERVE TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER AFTER ALL THE SHIT THEY WENT THROUGH.
I truly cant stop smiling from this chapter. after all that angst and pain. but the wonderfully written character development, the buildup to this, and the stunning art makes it all worth it.
It will never ever make sense to me ppl's fixation of painting Joowon as "the bad guy" in Joohae's relationship, when its not what LOH depicts AT ALL. "In hindsight, everyone is a perpetrator and victim” —Joowon, Chapter 2 // This quote right here has to be the most DEFINING quote for these two, and I wanted to write an essay about it (yes it's a literal ESSAY IM SORRY).
When the story starts, we see Haesoo feeling hurt, claiming Joowon doesnt care about them and projecting him in a bad light + we see JW's attitude & his *possessiveness*... But we quickly learn that Joowon acts that way because Haesoo manipulates his emotions. Haesoo says its the "relationship I manipulated because I craved an obsessive love”, and he "builds walls, so Joowon can tear them down”. Meanwhile Joowon is also in the wrong as he's immature, impulsive & acts on ALL of Haesoo’s provocations. They inflict these actions on each other because they're BOTH insecure about their r/s. Because defining a relationship usually gives parties a sense of security... so what happens in an UNDEFINED dynamic where they can’t officially be "lovers", and can’t voice their true feelings either?? Well: there's no security in the relationship. That’s why Joowon and Haesoo keep up this push/pull tactic. It's the only way they can affirm they're “each other’s”. The fact that Joowon only acts within the confines of their jealousy games/Haesoo's manipulation, is proven further when they break up: HS narrates, "the game is over", and we see Joowon actually give Haesoo SPACE cause he knows his boundaries and where the lines are drawn. He still clearly loves Haesoo though, so he tries to protect him in the background (eg: when leo told him shady stuff abt taku, the bullying scandal, etc.)
Now that leads to the question: why did Joohae stay in this sort of hurtful open relationship for so long, if they love each other?? Well in short: its cause of their PARENTS.
Haesoo’s reason for not wanting to define the relationship: he fears that he’ll lose his mom if he makes things serious with Joowon. His mom spent ages guilt tripping him for her divorce + tells him she can’t love him if he loves Joowon. The guilt Haesoo feels isn't JUST towards his mom though. It's towards Joowon too. Haesoo constantly projects Joowon's life as "perfect" and feels so inferior at the success of JW's career. So he thinks he's the "only one suffering" (hence painting JW as the asshole who doesnt care). He also seems to see himself as a hindrance to Joowon & thinks JW will be much happier with a marriage, kids, etc. And Haesoo's thoughts AREN'T really Joowon's fault. Joowon never said he wanted a "normal" life, or tried to make HS feel like a burden. He always called Haesoo, told him he missed him, tried to spend all his free time w him despite his busy work. So I think most of HS's insecurities stem from his mom acting like he doesnt deserve her love, and his mom making him think he's a burden ("Am I that much of a hindrance to you?"). It clearly left Haesoo emotionally broken.
Now... Joowon's reason for not wanting to define the relationship: It started, after Joohae were caught as teens and JW was hit with a harsh reality. He got slapped by HS's mom and Haesoo even said: "I’m scared of my feelings for you”. It made Joowon think Haesoo can’t handle their relationship getting serious. JW felt driven into a corner, so he said, “Don’t fall for me and I won’t fall for you”. This is Joowon's foolish attempt to PROTECT them from being separated. He wanted to frame their r/s as “nothing serious, we’re just fooling around” to make things less complicated. He was also trying to protect Haesoo, knowing he can’t make Haesoo lose his mom. Joowon's dad deeply affects his actions too. After the highschool fight issue, he tells Joowon that Haesoo is gonna abandon him, and he shouldn’t start things he'll fail. Joowon takes this to heart after the divorce, where the mom makes Haesoo leave without even telling Joowon. Ofc he now thinks he’s been “abandoned” cause things got too serious for Haesoo, and that everything his father said was TRUE. His father gaslights him for years that Haesoo will abandon him. So Joowon literally thinks the ONLY WAY Haesoo will be with him, is through this ambiguous relationship.
Now. Consider both perspectives: Joowon never insisted that he wanted an official r/s because he thinks Haesoo will drop him otherwise. And Haesoo never insisted on what he truly wanted either (an official r/s! the same thing! WOW~ lmao) because the guilt he felt towards his mother overtook all of that. They willingly chose this, and the ambiguity of their relationship hurts BOTH of them, but they endure it cause they love each other and they wanted to stay together no matter what. Haesoo confirms it when he says "It’s painful because we know we can’t have it, that’s why we kept it ambiguous for 10 years”. Haesoo kept going back to Joowon for years. That’s what made Joowon arrogant and had him thinking, “Haesoo is fine with this. Haesoo can’t live without me. I knew he'd never leave me if we keep our relationship ambiguous”, and Haesoo never communicated otherwise. The remarriage suddenly made all of HS's fears abt losing his mom too real: hence why he walks out first, leaving Joowon to rethink EVERYTHING about what Haesoo truly wanted.
So in the end: who's the victim, and who's the perpetrator? You could say both... or NEITHER. At the end of the day, Haesoo and Joowon were just 2 people who loved each other since they were teenagers, but could never communicate it for their own reasons. They BOTH willingly got into these roles of an ambiguous relationship and kept up unhealthy cycles of jealousy. And they did it to be with e/o without having to be honest about their feelings, or face the consequences of their relationship. Through distance and time spent apart: they realized they feared never telling eo their true feelings FAR MORE, than whatever they could lose as a result of their love. That’s why in the end Haesoo asks Joowon if he regrets their relationship due to Joowon’s career and dad and everything... Haesoo was always worried about that: that if they chose each other, they'd come to resent each other for their losses (he says it in their breakup). But Joowon being the ride or die man he is, says he regrets nothing & he doesnt care about that as long as he’s with Haesoo. These two possibly have the most conflicting relationship I’ve read in a while— but they way they make realizations, develop, and change their mindset all so realistically to reach the conclusion they do is quite beautiful to me <33
I sometimes like to reread the joohae breakup just to hurt myself and feel the angst. And I came across the panel after the dinner fiasco where taku is trying to make sure haesoo comes back to him after talking with joowon... and he says: "you and I both know how this will end".
i mean THE AUDACITY OF THIS MAN =__= he literally self inserted into their relationship and after 2 weeks he's acting like he knows everything about joowon and haesoo's bond, and what they mean to each other i-
I mean I AM thankful that joowon and haesoo broke up then cause how tf would they have solved their problems otherwise?? Haesoo needed to realize how much it would hurt him to actually lose Joowon instead of passively letting himself get controlled by his mom's wishes, and constantly running from his feelings for JW. and joowon needed to realize his own faults in their relationship too. BUT it's not as if taku knew that and was trying to help them AT ALL. this bitch just wanted to get haesoo for himself, even if it made HS miserable. and he lowkey gaslit haesoo here to make him feel like being with joowon was a lost cause =_= he does it in their breakup too where he's all like "you're only gonna suffer with joowon" hhhhh
taku stans: omg joowon doesnt even care abt haesoo. he’s just toying around with haesoo’s feelings constantly using haesoo for sex. haesoo is the only one suffering in their r/s and its all joowon’s fault!!! and how do we know this? cause haesoo said so!
real quotes from the story:
jw - “it hasnt been easy for a second. i was always on edge because of you”
jw - “dont fall for me and i wont fall for you. my dad is going to send me abroad otherwise and we’ll be separated”
jw - “i was just trying to protect us haesoo”
jw - “why am i the only one stuck in the past?”
jw: /doesnt have sex with haesoo but just wants to hold him while sleeping. constantly makes time to see haesoo out of his busy work schedule/
meanwhile...
hs - “the relationship i manipulated because i craved an obsessive love”
hs - “i want you to tear down the walls i put up”
Yeahhhh SURE does sound like Haesoo is the ‘only one suffering’, and Joowon is the one toying with haesoo LOL pls. I question if some taku stans even read the dialogue sometimes.
im bored. no loh this week :((( it's on hiatus till next week
saw someone say that haesoo is such a self-destructive bitch because he wanted joowon to screw up from fully reaching his dreams... and yet it turns out in joowon's heart: haesoo was his dream the whole time
lmaooo
I know it's an ongoing joke here that in Taku's new relationship he should be the uke... And honestly, I'm down with that idea. But it just crossed my mind. What if Taku dated someone that looked/acted similar to JOOWON o w o
If this story were up to me, that's what I'd do. And not cause I'm a troll. But it would GENUINELY MAKE SENSE lmaooo
Like I really want to know the deeper reason why Taku was so obsessed with Joohae's relationship after reading Haesoo's story about it, enough to meddle in it. I don't believe Haesoo was the sole factor to it. Like... why did Taku create this one-sided competition in his head, where he was constantly trying to beat Joowon??? Does it really only have to do with Haesoo? I think it had to do with both of them, but he "chose" Haesoo because Haesoo was the one he saw in person and despite his prosopagnosia he could actually remember Haesoo's face. Hmmm many thoughts.
There are even lines like this in the story lol: "And I normally like people like you" (TK to JW) // "He must've been attractive in your eyes too" (HS to TK after seeing the way Taku photographed Joowon for his shoot). sdhdsshds
So I was rereading a few chapters around Joowon's iconic phone call to Haesoo, and I realized I had glossed over something important: Haesoo NEVER went out with Taku to use him as a rebound, or even because he was hurt by his breakup?? He did it out of fucking pity for Taku. PITY. I want to laugh.
It's true that Haesoo was using TK as a rebound before, when they were casually sleeping together. But Haesoo literally made the resolve to NOT go out with Taku. He thinks word for word: "I don't want to rely on him anymore just because I'm lonely. Because I consider him a good person. Someone that wants to hear the end of my story". (Honestly, HS is so naïve. TK was just "good" to him because he liked to feel needed when Haesoo was hurt. But well, HS cant read TK's thoughts ig). Haesoo then goes on to reject Taku, saying: "I don't have the emotional capacity to be in a relationship right now. That's my honest answer. I'm only going to end up hurting you". Now THIS is where Taku admits that he's actually a shitty person who tried to use his sex tape to guilt trip Haesoo into a r/s. And Haesoo gets angry by being toyed like this ofc, but he also pities Taku at that moment. The way Taku says he loves Haesoo selfishly and in a messed up way, reminds Haesoo of HIMSELF, with the way he'd always emotionally manipulate Joowon and try to make him feel all jealous, and angry and possessive over him. This pity and seeing himself in Taku is why Haesoo goes out with him :/// Like honestly... Haesoo and Taku? They're of the same breed ugh.
It lowkey pisses me off that Joowon is so madly in love with Haesoo when he honestly deserves better. Out of the 3 of them, Joowon may have been immature and implusive, but its clear he at least has decent intentions in spite of his mistakes. Like he's constantly trying to protect Haesoo and keep their relationship intact, but he just doesnt always think things through and at times is very unaware of how Haesoo is feeling (but thats not all on Joowon. Like... HS didnt communicate for shit! And JW was left thinking HS will never leave him as long as they keep their r/s ambiguous, and will always come back to him like the arrogant brat he was lol). His growth and development is all focused on his immaturity and arrogance for that reason. Meanwhile, Joowon's toxic possessive behavior was literally because Haesoo tried to make him that way. Hence why the moment Haesoo breaks up with Joowon, he literally does not bother Haesoo and gives him total space. Well... I guess at least Haesoo changed for the better and admitted he was shitty for manipulating Joowon's emotions like that. Taku made no such change and seems manipulative and selfish even in chapter 99.
Anyway... it really hit me how Taku stans that slandered Haesoo look even STUPIDER considering this. HS literally went out with Taku out of pity after he wouldnt take no for an answer multiple times, like please!! And ppl want to claim Haesoo used and led on Taku LOOOL
Just need to rant a little bit: But okay, it NEVER sat right with me how Taku stans bashed and villainized Joowon for like 2 years while he's showed continuous growth and repented for all his mistakes (mistakes he made cause he literally wanted to protect hs and keep them together lol). Everything he's been doing since like 50ish chapters ago, he's been doing to protect Haesoo and he's just been continuously losing things FOR HAESOO (his job? his dad?) without asking for anything in return or pressuring Haesoo in any way.
Meanwhile, Taku has shown little to no growth, and still admits he's a shitty person even in chapter NINETY-NINE!! But his stans that were soooo loud in bashing Joowon just refuse to acknowledge all his manipulative and toxic actions and make excuses for his behavior left and right, cause huhuhu "poor" taku. Joowon would NEVER get this kind of treatment. (Examples of his crappy actions if you dont believe me lol: http://www.mangago.zone/home/mangatopic/9517513/).
always the no reading comprehension taku stans polluting the comment section by ignoring or capping for his manipulative and selfish actions instead of wanting him to be better. typical.
Not to be me but I’m quite fond of this uploader.
First their hilarious crying meme at the end of the hospital chapter when Joowon and Haesoo confessed to each other.
Then the iconic blurred taku face
And now adding these gorgeous panels at the end to wish Haesoo a happy bday PLUS adding the scene with Joowon telling Haesoo he’s his dream?? like brb crying :’)
Everything is nice in the comment section until some stupid taku stan comes in and ruins it with their incest bs lol
Yes cry some more
I can read this story with a smile knowing the next three chapters is JUST Haesoo and Joowon. no other character being inserted in and ruining the moment hehe
The loh cover pictures at the end, and Joowon‘s quote where he calls Haesoo his dream T^T
MY HEARTTTTT
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
wondering what the actual attraction about Taehae was to readers.
was it the miserable haesoo thinking abt joowon all the time? or him losing weight and looking unwell? or losing all his personality and cute bratty attitude? lol, or maybe it was taku's manipulative behavior and taking advantage of haesoo's heartbreak and sadness on multiple occasions? ppl just fail to see anything past the visually appealing "couple moments" between them. when the dialogue and monologues during those "cute" scenes drives home the fact that their relationship is anything but sincere, and built upon the basis of using each other lol,, like READ ffs
joowon and haesoo may have had an unhealthy relationship, but the story made it increasingly clear how their problems were due to their parents constantly pushing them apart, guilt tripping them, and so on... the actual FEELINGS OF LOVE between them were genuine and real from the start. and they simply couldnt let each other go despite everything opposing them, which is why they fell into unhealthy cycles in the first place.
Honestly this was always coming
After all his name was Joowon, not Joolost
╮(￣▽￣)╭
The way I realize Loh was literally 94 depressing chapters.
And like 5 happy ones (but even in that, someone was crying and getting their heart broken so.... lol)
yall talking about how you thought Joowon and Haesoo were gonna kiss right in public. Saaame!! The way they leaned slightly in, and locked eyes, and smiled at each other— I YELLED THEY LOOKED LIKE THEY WANTED TO KISS BUT (obviously) CANT
I love how Joowon openly took haesoo’s hand though <33 i remember when hs used to refuse to hold his hand in the beginning chapters. Damn my babies have come a long way!! Now lots of time for kisses when they get home hehe