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It will never ever make sense to me ppl's fixation of painting Joowon as "the bad guy" in Joohae's relationship, when its not what LOH depicts AT ALL. "In hindsight, everyone is a perpetrator and victim” —Joowon, Chapter 2 // This quote right here has to be the most DEFINING quote for these two, and I wanted to write an essay about it (yes it's a literal ESSAY IM SORRY).

When the story starts, we see Haesoo feeling hurt, claiming Joowon doesnt care about them and projecting him in a bad light + we see JW's attitude & his *possessiveness*... But we quickly learn that Joowon acts that way because Haesoo manipulates his emotions. Haesoo says its the "relationship I manipulated because I craved an obsessive love”, and he "builds walls, so Joowon can tear them down”. Meanwhile Joowon is also in the wrong as he's immature, impulsive & acts on ALL of Haesoo’s provocations. They inflict these actions on each other because they're BOTH insecure about their r/s. Because defining a relationship usually gives parties a sense of security... so what happens in an UNDEFINED dynamic where they can’t officially be "lovers", and can’t voice their true feelings either?? Well: there's no security in the relationship. That’s why Joowon and Haesoo keep up this push/pull tactic. It's the only way they can affirm they're “each other’s”. The fact that Joowon only acts within the confines of their jealousy games/Haesoo's manipulation, is proven further when they break up: HS narrates, "the game is over", and we see Joowon actually give Haesoo SPACE cause he knows his boundaries and where the lines are drawn. He still clearly loves Haesoo though, so he tries to protect him in the background (eg: when leo told him shady stuff abt taku, the bullying scandal, etc.)

Now that leads to the question: why did Joohae stay in this sort of hurtful open relationship for so long, if they love each other?? Well in short: its cause of their PARENTS.
Haesoo’s reason for not wanting to define the relationship: he fears that he’ll lose his mom if he makes things serious with Joowon. His mom spent ages guilt tripping him for her divorce + tells him she can’t love him if he loves Joowon. The guilt Haesoo feels isn't JUST towards his mom though. It's towards Joowon too. Haesoo constantly projects Joowon's life as "perfect" and feels so inferior at the success of JW's career. So he thinks he's the "only one suffering" (hence painting JW as the asshole who doesnt care). He also seems to see himself as a hindrance to Joowon & thinks JW will be much happier with a marriage, kids, etc. And Haesoo's thoughts AREN'T really Joowon's fault. Joowon never said he wanted a "normal" life, or tried to make HS feel like a burden. He always called Haesoo, told him he missed him, tried to spend all his free time w him despite his busy work. So I think most of HS's insecurities stem from his mom acting like he doesnt deserve her love, and his mom making him think he's a burden ("Am I that much of a hindrance to you?"). It clearly left Haesoo emotionally broken.

Now... Joowon's reason for not wanting to define the relationship: It started, after Joohae were caught as teens and JW was hit with a harsh reality. He got slapped by HS's mom and Haesoo even said: "I’m scared of my feelings for you”. It made Joowon think Haesoo can’t handle their relationship getting serious. JW felt driven into a corner, so he said, “Don’t fall for me and I won’t fall for you”. This is Joowon's foolish attempt to PROTECT them from being separated. He wanted to frame their r/s as “nothing serious, we’re just fooling around” to make things less complicated. He was also trying to protect Haesoo, knowing he can’t make Haesoo lose his mom. Joowon's dad deeply affects his actions too. After the highschool fight issue, he tells Joowon that Haesoo is gonna abandon him, and he shouldn’t start things he'll fail. Joowon takes this to heart after the divorce, where the mom makes Haesoo leave without even telling Joowon. Ofc he now thinks he’s been “abandoned” cause things got too serious for Haesoo, and that everything his father said was TRUE. His father gaslights him for years that Haesoo will abandon him. So Joowon literally thinks the ONLY WAY Haesoo will be with him, is through this ambiguous relationship.

Now. Consider both perspectives: Joowon never insisted that he wanted an official r/s because he thinks Haesoo will drop him otherwise. And Haesoo never insisted on what he truly wanted either (an official r/s! the same thing! WOW~ lmao) because the guilt he felt towards his mother overtook all of that. They willingly chose this, and the ambiguity of their relationship hurts BOTH of them, but they endure it cause they love each other and they wanted to stay together no matter what. Haesoo confirms it when he says "It’s painful because we know we can’t have it, that’s why we kept it ambiguous for 10 years”. Haesoo kept going back to Joowon for years. That’s what made Joowon arrogant and had him thinking, “Haesoo is fine with this. Haesoo can’t live without me. I knew he'd never leave me if we keep our relationship ambiguous”, and Haesoo never communicated otherwise. The remarriage suddenly made all of HS's fears abt losing his mom too real: hence why he walks out first, leaving Joowon to rethink EVERYTHING about what Haesoo truly wanted.

So in the end: who's the victim, and who's the perpetrator? You could say both... or NEITHER. At the end of the day, Haesoo and Joowon were just 2 people who loved each other since they were teenagers, but could never communicate it for their own reasons. They BOTH willingly got into these roles of an ambiguous relationship and kept up unhealthy cycles of jealousy. And they did it to be with e/o without having to be honest about their feelings, or face the consequences of their relationship. Through distance and time spent apart: they realized they feared never telling eo their true feelings FAR MORE, than whatever they could lose as a result of their love. That’s why in the end Haesoo asks Joowon if he regrets their relationship due to Joowon’s career and dad and everything... Haesoo was always worried about that: that if they chose each other, they'd come to resent each other for their losses (he says it in their breakup). But Joowon being the ride or die man he is, says he regrets nothing & he doesnt care about that as long as he’s with Haesoo. These two possibly have the most conflicting relationship I’ve read in a while— but they way they make realizations, develop, and change their mindset all so realistically to reach the conclusion they do is quite beautiful to me <33

So my understanding of LOH after reading it over these 2 years and seeing many thoughts on socmed/mggo, is that it's a story about selfish love, and selfless love.

Like Taku for example was manipulative towards Haesoo and didn’t have great intentions when he approached Haesoo. He was planning just to use him and drop him like all his past models. But when Taku felt more deeply and showed some genuine feelings for Haesoo, I found that he was ONLY concerned with himself. He didn’t care whether Haesoo was happy or not. Haesoo was visibly losing weight and unhappy as said by his mom, but Taku didn't seem to care at all. Even when Joowon got into all that trouble, notice how he starts typing "are you okay?" and then deletes it and tells Haesoo to stop caring about Joowon, even though this is something thats clearly hurting and worrying Haesoo. And NOW IN THIS CHAPTER: when they broke up he said he hoped Haesoo has a hard time and regrets leaving him… even though Haesoo genuinely didn’t wrong him. They both decided on this relationship. Taku was the one begging to do this, knowing Haesoo loves someone else, so he has no logical reason to wish Haesoo a hard time especially after he admitted Haesoo tried his best. So yeah... his words were purely emotional and selfish. Overall yeah, I just think Taku basically showed us: “Love is selfish”

But the endgame pair of LOH showed that that love can be selfless too. Like Joowon and Haesoo locked themselves into their open relationship because they were driven into a corner by their parents. They wanted to be with each other, but they didn't want to take the responsibility of the potential losses for their relationship. Which ofc is SELFISH as theyre caring more about themselves and what they could lose, than how the other person feels.
But when they separated, the change slowly happened and it was JOOWON that changed the most. Joowon called Haesoo after their painful separation and put aside his hurt feelings and told Haesoo something like: “I’m always on your side, even as a brother or friend, I’m just all yours". He was willing to support Haesoo even if Haesoo told him he liked Taku. It shows him swallowing his own feelings and loving Haesoo without condition. Joowon then later sacrificed his public reputation and career to protect Haesoo during the bullying scandal. He told Haesoo he wanted to take responsibility, which I think made Haesoo realize a lot, and gave hs courage to admit his feelings later. Like the whole point of LOH is that for a relationship to work out, you need willingness to sometimes make sacrifices for each other. Which is what Joowon and Haesoo did in the end. The very act of them confessing to each other is a SACRIFICE because their parents dont support them and they could face consequences.

The writer once said Love or Hate is a story about why a relationship can be fulfilled, and also why it may remain unfulfilled. Both statements perfectly fit Joohae (old relationship vs new one), and I love how well thought out it is.

It's amazing how some ppl claim Taku was with Haesoo out of the goodness of his heart, and wanted to "save" him from an unhealthy relationship i- like what now?? Reading comprehension where???
Taku got interested in Haesoo after seeing his story about his step brother: he wanted to mess with that relationship. Taku's exhibition themes were: Loss / Love —a choice he thought Haesoo would be so *perfect* for due to his relationship with Joowon. No, it was never about Haesoo's wellbeing lol. There’s literally a scene where he implicitly tells Haesoo to think of Joowon for the photoshoot, right after their breakup, and thinks: “I knew he was hurt, but I wanted to see something more”. He wasn't trying to make Haesoo feel better, but instead he was intrigued & captivated by Haesoo’s hurt and pain over Joowon. He even admits in the end, after he grew attached to Haesoo: "From the start Haesoo only had eyes for one person. Perhaps those unwavering eyes were what I loved most” -- proving how transfixed he was by Haesoo's feelings for Joowon.

Taku says in his character interview from the start that he's "opportunistic" when it comes to relationships. Example: him comforting Haesoo crying... it parallels Taku's ex-bf being comforted by him & getting upset cause Taku is just PRETENDING. It's the same w/ Haesoo. He didn't do that with genuine feelings, but just as a "habit" like Haesoo says. Taku also said, “it felt good to see you sad” and how he knows hes selfish but its cause he likes to feel needed. So him chasing after Haesoo wasnt sincere, but self-interest & intrigue (“I wanted to see the kind of story he writes when im gone” HELLO??).

There's multiple metaphors about it too (lmaoo not me writing about the metaphors when ppl can't even get the blatant text of Taku saying MULTIPLE TIMES how he's "not a good person" and that he likes Haesoo for selfish reasons... but anyway the metaphors are interesting to me <333). First his photography: Taku always focused on the frozen images and what's within the lenses, instead of life in the present. He captured what he wanted & ignored the rest. Second: the candy. He says all relationships are the same to him: just "sugar/additives despite the different colours". He doesn’t like the taste of bitterness, only the sweetness. It ALL shows how Taku only wanted the good and superficial things in life. He selfishly liked to be needed by someone else, but without any of the burden of real feelings. It’s only through letting himself get attached to Haesoo & realizing Haesoo’s pretend love isn’t enough for him, that he describes Haesoo’s kiss as "bitter".

Honestly I know how upsetting it is to see your ship sink. But if you step back and read carefully: you realize that Yeongha literally built Taku's character to GET HEARTBROKEN and experience the bitter things in life,, because he'd been so numb to that feeling otherwise. (It makes me curious abt Taku's backstory honestly. like what made him this way??)

I honestly can appreciate Taku as a fictional character because I do find him interesting and layered. But I am TIRED of ppl claiming he was incredibly sincere and cared about Haesoo so much. Idk if some of y’all skipped these parts, or chose to ignore it... but pls do see the following examples of Taku's manipulative and selfish behavior, and taking advantage of Haesoo:

Exhibit 1 - He wanted to use his sex tape to guilt trip Haesoo in their relationship. He said: “I hoped that guilt would bring you to me”. It only didn't happen cause Haesoo turned down publishing the sex tape. It was not that Taku backed away and stopped himself because he realized how fcked up his actions were. It made Haesoo uncomfortable and weirded out too,, pretty sure this can count as sexual/workplace harassment lmao

Exhibit 2 - In chapter 96’s flashback Taku says "i just want to read the story he writes about me when i'm gone” (his friend calls him an asshole too lol). This is a throwback to Leo telling Joowon over the phone about how Taku uses his models for his work, and then tosses them aside with little regard. He was planning the same with Haesoo, until he later got “attached”. that’s karma ig~

Exhibit 3 - Haesoo expressed that he was unsure/not ready for a relationship. Yet literally RIGHT AFTER his quasi breakup with Joowon, Taku is pressuring him like, "I'm still waiting for an answer". It's weird cause Haesoo's wounds are fresh from his breakup, and Taku is NOT stupid. He knew this and persisted. Haesoo shouldn't have agreed and that's his own fault (HS is not entirely a victim here lets make that clear). Meanwhile Taku? He was flat out taking advantage of Haesoo's broken emotions.

Exhibit 4 - Quote: “It must have been painful for him no doubt, but I still wanted to see more". This was Taku's thought during a photoshoot with Haesoo, which later made Haesoo cry at the exhibition (Chapter 92/93). Taku told Haesoo: "think about having sex with someone you love, but you can never see them again". This was RIGHT AFTER Joowon and Haesoo's big separation. To inflict emotional pain in your partner, and then say you were interested in seeing more? Bruh no… just no.

Exhibit 5 - Quotes: “Every time I saw how sad you were, it felt good.” “You were lonely. You need me because of your unhappiness.” —Chapter 58. This is from Taku's monologue of how Haesoo’s unhappiness made him feel good, because he felt depended on by Haesoo for comfort // hs get away from this man pls haha

Exhibit 6 - Another quote: “If I can’t beat him [jw] one-on-one, then I at least want you [hs] to feel bad” —Chapter 66 ...Can Taku stop wishing for Haesoo depression, like he's already sad jfc

Exhibit 7 - "I want to bury inside the void he [jw] left in you. And later I'll push him aside however I can." ...honestly this quote struck me as Taku taking advantage of Haesoo's heartbreak and being hella 'opportunistic' (btw: Taku called HIMSELF that in his interview in chapter 5 so I mean... lol). Maybe that's just me though idk.

Exhibit 8 - In Chapter 84 when Joowon's scandal broke out, notice how Taku starts texting "are you okay?" to Haesoo, then deletes it and instead tells him to stop caring about Joowon? This moment said a lot to me, because it's the fact that Taku is SO AWARE of how Haesoo must be feeling, but he purposely chooses to ignore that and cares more about winning and keeping him away from Joowon. Kinda struck me as the opposite from Joowon's phone call after Haesoo's modelling news dropped in chapter 68. JW asked Haesoo to not do the exhibition because he knew its not what HS wanted (he is right: haesoo always wanted to be known for his writing not his face, and felt crappy abt it all day). But when Haesoo said he was fine, JW told him he'll always be on Haesoo's side even as a hyung/friend. He made it so clear how he cares the most about HS simply being okay, even after Haesoo left him.

Exhibit 9 - Taku tells Haesoo he hopes he has a hard time with Joowon after their breakup (Chapter 99). It felt wrong to me cause Haesoo genuinely apologized and gently let him down in their breakup... but Taku tries to make Haesoo feel worse. I honestly understand being spiteful towards exes who mistreated you in some way. HOWEVER with this relationship: it seemed to highlight Taku’s selfishness. Taku is out here acting like Haesoo wronged him for simply not liking him back in a 1 month TRIAL relationship. As if he wasnt the one who initiated and *insisted* on their relationship. As if he was unaware of Haesoo’s feelings for Joowon. As if Taku didnt say it was better that they use each other. Him wanting to make Haesoo feel bad over this is wild considering all the conditions of their relationship and his past manipulation too.
((Also, Taku in this scene to Haesoo: “Sorry I told you I'm not a good person” … Like sir, if you know you’re not a good person, THEN FIX IT. Joowon spent almost 40 chapters self-reflecting n trying to correct the mistakes he made, when he never *intentionally* wanted to hurt Haesoo lol. Meanwhile some Taku fans: “omg he’s a good person that was wronged. haesoo never deserved him!” lmaooo))

///end of examples

Anyway I’m gonna have to start sending this to some of y’all who selectively read Taku’s character to all hell. He was really manipulative with Haesoo and had some bad intentions. And when Taku grew to stop being a robot and showed “real feelings” getting all attached to Haesoo and liking him more than he expected, he was STILL selfish and wanted Haesoo to suffer for him. He didn’t get enough development to stray away from that, but imo that’s exactly why he’s the second lead
╮(￣▽￣)╭

So at the end of the day, I’d say all 3 characters got what they deserved. And they all made important realizations by the end:

Haesoo's biggest obstacle was lacking personal agency. He was always caught up in what his mother wanted, what joowon's father wanted, what would be best for joowon's acting career, what was best for society... He never prioritized his OWN wishes and was miserable thinking his love for joowon was wrong. He also thought he was the only one suffering and Joowon had it easy, so he wanted Joowon to suffer too. Joowon told him "dont fall for me & i wont fall for you", so he manipulated Joowon's emotions (making him jealous/angry for his sake) because he didn't know how else to feel “loved”. Him going and telling Joowon how he feels at the hospital was the first time he truly followed his heart, and he was honest to JW without any facade or manipulation. He also apologized in his monologue realizing that he was wrong for being vindictive and wishing Joowon would suffer. He knew he didn't genuinely mean those things, because when Joowon ACTUALLY got hurt, it broke him. Also I have to add about Haesoo & Taku's relationship: Haesoo never cared much for his past flings, but he genuinely felt sorry to Taku. He actually tried his best in their r/s and felt apologetic when he couldnt return Taku's feelings, also signifying haesoo's change in that case.

Meanwhile Joowon: He actually had good intentions as a teenager, thinking that keeping their relationship undefined would "protect" what they had. This carried onto adulthood due to their taboo forever haunting him/them (as he said: he was stuck in the past). He also feared abandonment as he believed haesoo already abandoned him once after the divorce, pushing his idea that their undefined relationship was the best route and Haesoo would leave "if things got too serious". Through their separation, he realized his mistakes regardless of his intentions, and how he really hurt haesoo when he said "dont fall for me". He also knew he had become arrogant in thinking Haesoo would never leave him, just cause Haesoo kept with him for almost 10 years. So Joowon strived to take responsibility for his mistakes. And he faced his own fears realizing: he'd rather get hurt and abandoned by Haesoo than not tell Haesoo he loved him. Because love should be selfless like that. Imo Joowon had the most time of self-reflection and development in this manhwa, going from impulsive and arrogant to mature and braver with his feelings.
Also, both Haesoo and Joowon were consistently driven apart by external pressures that affected their actions (their initial taboo, their parents, joowon's career). So I don't blame the problems in their relationship solely on themselves. But at the end of the day, both of them learned that to make their relationship work: they had to set aside their personal fears/obstacles, and actually prioritize each other.

Finally Taku: he had a history of exes that he toyed around with and manipulated for his photography career and self-interest. He started seeing Haesoo with the same intentions ("i just wanted to see the story he would write when I was gone" / Leo telling Joowon how Taku uses and drops his models). He never planned to catch feelings, so him going from an emotionless robot, to getting hurt like this was the best lesson for him. He now knows you can't manipulate people's emotions and MAKE THEM love you (For instance, taku's quote: "I wanted to burrow inside that void he [jw] left in you. And then I would kick him out in any way I could" ---> he thought he could make haesoo love him, but now realized he cant). He *hopefully* learned that entering relationships with selfish/manipulative intentions, and with someone who loves someone else, is WRONG. Imo Taku had the least on screen development as he's still quite selfish in the recent chapters. His reactions feel realistic, but that doesn’t mean he's a “good” person, and he ADMITS HIMSELF that he’s not a good person in chapter 99. However he is shown to be happy with someone else in the future, so maybe him having good intentions and being less selfish is more so implied. Maybe we’ll see more of his thoughts in the last few chapters, and how he handled his new relationship differently than his relationship with Haesoo...

Anyway I think the endings for all 3 characters made sense, and I hope yall support the authors on the official site if you like their story!