beta
In chapter 14 before all the chaos really starts, Hirata tries to turn Ryuuzaki against Yashiro. When Ryuuzaki doubts that Yashiro would cross him, Hirata point blank asks him if he has feelings for Yashiro. Then in chapter 26, Hirata continues to try and turn Ryuuzaki against Yashiro. To do this, he chooses to taunt Ryuuzaki about his feelings for Yashiro AGAIN. He tells Ryuuzaki that Yashiro purposefully takes advantage of him, as he believes Yashiro is aware of Ryuuzaki’s feelings. In the latest chapter, we find out that Doumeki also realized Ryuuzaki true feelings for Yashiro. Yashiro’s reaction is so interesting! He looks off to the side as if Doumeki said something puzzling, and then shrugs it off like it could never be a possibility.
Even when Ryuuzaki is about to go to prison, Yashiro suggests that he find someone in prison. Ryuuzaki tells him he isn’t gay and thus he wouldn’t mess with any other guy. And still Yashiro never thinks that Ryuuzaki has feelings for him! Even in prison, I think Yoneda Kou made a point to show us a shot of Ryuuzaki’s (porn) magazine and it just so happened to be a page featuring a short haired woman who seems to have blonde hair. Ryuuzaki is so cute, he even blushes during his visit with Yashiro. I really do hope we get another update that features him, I would love to read a spin off with him finding love or even reuniting with his past lover <3 (sorry for the double posting ramblings, this is what happens when I consume coffee late at night).
I enjoyed reading this cmnt ^^
Thank you for such a sweet comment <3
In the chapters after the time skip, Yashiro’s outside behaviour seems the same. But on the inside, his mental state is very similar to the one he had when we were first introduced to him. Very reflective and sorrowful, I don’t think I’ll ever forget Yashiro saying “Why not me? Why can’t it be me?” in reference to Kageyama’s relationship with Kuga. HURTS MY HEART </3.
I feel like anytime Yashiro has any quiet time to himself his thoughts drift back to Doumeki. In chapter 36 he states, “The things I already gave up on at that time, are still left here in this world”. He then goes on to do the similar pose he did when he last saw Doumeki ( http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/saezuru_tori_wa_habatakanai/mf/c036/24/ and http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/saezuru_tori_wa_habatakanai/mf/c036/25/ VS http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/saezuru_tori_wa_habatakanai/mf/c035/35/) . I think its safe to say that the THINGS left in this world = Doumeki.
Then Yashiro has that BAD DREAM (his words). My understanding of these panels is that Doumeki finds him, grabs his arm and Yashiro snatches his arm back and runs (still not so sure, but he seems to be heavy breathing in the panel after, coupled with the motion in the panel above: http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/saezuru_tori_wa_habatakanai/mf/6a276415ee672dad28f071ead6cf6981_chapter-6/pg-8/). He then looks behind him and Doumeki is gone. Yashiro is then outside of the city, and alone in a desert. Desert dreams often times symbolize, “…when a relationship or friendship breaks down, or when you feel totally alone”. I believe this is further proof that Doumeki’s absence has affected Yashiro deeply.
Okay you’re probably thinking Alqamar, what’s your point? Two things. I feel like Doumeki’s absence has affected Yashiro in two ways. The first is clearly psychologically. Yashiro isn’t alone, he still has the presence of his loyal workers, his new businesses and his old boss still vying to be in his life. But even with this, he feels a DEEP loneliness, because the person he loves is no longer by his side. The second is more of a reach but stay with me haha. I feel like Yashiro’s damaged eye, is the physical manifestation of Doumeki’s absence. I think we can make the connection between Doumeki being his right hand ( http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/saezuru_tori_wa_habatakanai/mf/manga/saezuru_tori_wa_habatakanai/c010.5/pg-18/) and then Yashiro’s RIGHT eye being affected. Although it’s pretty late into the morning and I might be wrong with which eye was exactly affected, so please correct me if wrong!
(Also, interesting to mention: In the chapter 40, Yashiro reflects on his dream while starring at the sunrise. There are many symbolisms of a sunrise that relate to this chapter. One is, that it can symbolize new beginnings; this fits the context of this chapter since it’s the first time Yashiro and Doumeki see each other after four years)
I feel like these moments of reflection give us a glimpse of Yashiro yearning for Doumeki and actually missing him! But due to his defense mechanism (denial), he is choosing to not acknowledge his feelings and continue on without Doumeki.
In a moment of anger, Doumeki makes the assumption that Yashiro is still practicing old habits. As readers we know this isn’t true, Yashiro has only slept with one person at most in the past four years. Many people may dislike this fact (Doumeki included haha) but I think it shows how much Yashiro has grown. He is breaking the pattern of having sex with “any” and “everyone” (although I believe Yashiro was more strategic than that, he would always get something (like info) out of it). By not continuing the risky sexual behaviour, he is slowly working through what he was forced to believe and healing his inner child. I hope in the future this extends to Yashiro and his view on himself. I hope he gets to a place where he can embrace his feelings for Doumeki and even himself. Again, I am just blabbering so if nothing makes sense my apologizes haha.
Wait Yashiro stopped having sex?
I think it wasn't really specified. But they were hints at the first chapter of the time skip that he is indeed having sex "less" like not all the time and not to anyone. He said that himself I think, when Nanahara complained to him or smthn. I can't remember much. Btw lol i was just here to reread chapter 43.
I wish I could hug your comment! Its perfect
What @Gab said is right, in chapter 36 Misumi asks Yashiro if he's been sleeping around still. Yashiro states he only sleeps with one person ( http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/saezuru_tori_wa_habatakanai/mf/c036/10/). Later on it gets confirmed that this one person is that creep cop Inami, who Yashiro sleeps with for police info. I assume hes doing this to keep the "legal" businesses he has opened up recently away from being investigated etc
Thanks for confirming! Also if i might just add, i think one of the reasons why Yashiro pushed Doumeki away has got something to do with his blind eye, IDK WHAT exactly. Correct me if I'm wrong but I THINK the only person who knows about his condition is Nanahara.
I agree! And I believe you're correct about Nanahara being the only one who knows. Remember Doumeki's reaction when he finally visited Yashiro in the hospital the first time he was shot. It was so sad :/, I can only imagine how sad Doumeki will be when he realizes Yashiro's vision has been damaged.
I think Doumeki at this point is kinda suspecting something is up. Remember in the bath, when Yashiro is opening the door, he suddenly kinda slipped? And then Doumeki caught him. I'd like to think that Doumeki knows Yashiro isn't the type of clumsy person (being in the yakuza before), so I hope he's thinking that either he caught him off guard with the question ("do u want me to rub your back") Or that something's wrong with yashiro physically.
Ohhh and i forgot to add. Please I've been looking at the panels carefully and I've read it thrice now. So we can see that ever since they saw each other, DOUMEKI IS STILL OBSERVING YASHIRO CLOSELY. We can see him looking at him all the time. And well i can say that when i look at Yashiro, he's like looking elsewhere or like he's not looking at the surroundings or the actual person in front of him (kinda like how a blind person acts). So i really hope Doumeki will pick up on that.