Estheria's Favorite

I'm so disappointed I was looking forward to this but I hate when mangas show seme or uke doing sex stuff with others. This is such a shame

Novel readers, im curious but does the novel have the wet dreams also in the novel. Because from what I hear, the novel is completely shounen ai with no smut at all?

Lets just go to the interesting part of the plot:

Jun starts to get bullied because of Yohan, being an outcast for a while. edit: They fight and Yohan hurts Juns hand. It all started because he tried to defend Yohan on his family dinner (Yohan thought he was making fun of him??)

Anyway, after a while they become friends again, but its kinda forced. Another kid from school even warns Jun about Yohan being twisted but Jun doesnt believe it. I dont remember much details here, its just Jun living his days in tension and pretending.


Jun is asked/threated by some dude called Kim Mihoo (sorry i forgot his name but is similar to this) to confess to Yohan so they call film his reaction and spread to school. Jun accepts but in the moment he actually tells Yohan the dude was behind the curtains trying to film it. Yohan beats him up and dude gets expelled because Yohan made up some situation there.

Then, before graduation, Jun cuts off contact with Yohan because his little sister tells him hes actually really loved by the family, he even likes seafood and lied to him about being an outcast. I dont remember well why he does that, but I think his sister says that he just has some issues about really wanting to be loved. This whole time Yohan acts like this just cuz he wanted Jun's attention and love (??)

Theres also a part where Jun meets this highscool friend (i dont remember if it was before or after graduation sorry), but while theyre at a cafe together, Yohan appears and starts to act like an asshole and Jun finally acts, throwing a drink all over him, saying he hates him.

Jun leaves the country after graduation to think. He comes back to the country after thinking and starts college. Hes in the dorms and his roomate is not there, later on he finds out Yohan is in the same college (just different department) and instantly Yohan is at his door, hes the roommate lmfao.

Funny thing, Yohan starts acting like a poor sad dog, Jun tells him to leave and he just obeys, not before making a face like he wanted to cry really bad.

Someone starts to ask about Jun around college and he thinks its Yohan and calls him telling him to stop. Turns out it was not Yohan and in the middle of the call, that dude Kim something appears and throw acid at Jun to ruin his face.

Yohan of course appears and shields Jun, getting acid all over his shoulder which leaves a permanent scar on his back.

Jun feels really bad and from here they start being friends again. With Yohan saying he wont be a catholic anymore, kneeling and kissing Jun's feet, saying hes his new god.

After here, its just side stories continuing their days, at some point they start living together at an apartment Jun's parents got for him. And they have a really sexual tension, they have their first time together, and after this theres a few smut scenes. In the novel, theyre REALLY long. Yohan is basically pent up the whole time and the novel gets in real detail about how his dick is big LMFAO

Anyway, im still at the side stories now, happy ending i guess!
(￣∇￣")

Edit: Someone got kinda mad here because i spoiled before finishing the novel so i just want to add it: In the side stories Jun finds out that Yohan got beaten up by his father & since then has issues remembering stuff. Basically his dad is shitty anyway ^^

Repost:

I think you read the story but didn’t really get it, and I’m guessing this series ain’t for you if you’re into romantic, smutty details with less plot and don’t wanna think hard about what drives the characters’ actions or their psyche.
Let me break it down clearer after rereading the novel a bunch and piecing together the plot points to make the characters easier to get.
First: You brought up how the MC tried to fix the ML’s family drama, but remember, the ML didn’t even ask for that. During their argument, the MC admitted he was selfish for ignoring the ML’s feelings. When the ML asked why he did it, like was it fun to humiliate him in front of his dad, it was the MC’s judgy attitude that hit the ML’s pride by saying he felt sorry for him. And here’s the key: the ML never spilled why he hates his dad. He just said he hates him and his dad doesn’t like him, end of story. He didn’t lie. All the extra mess? That’s the MC overdoing it. The MC straight up disrespected him.
Second: When the ML tried to fix their friendship, the MC was the one in the wrong, but even during their fight, the MC only said sorry to shield himself from the ML’s anger, not because he knew he messed up. He didn’t even get why the ML was so mad. After that fight, the MC never properly apologized for his selfish, disrespectful actions. Even when the ML kept trying to make peace, the MC’s ego kicked in to protect himself. Neither would back down, especially the MC—his pride wouldn’t let him, even until the sidestory’s end. He never took the first step to make things right. Both are at fault, but the MC only trusts his own view, and that’s what keeps hurting the ML, whether they’re in high school or adults.
Third: I gotta defend both the MC and ML ‘cause y’all seem to just skim and care more about the spicy stuff. The MC was mad and avoided the ML because the ML ignored him during the bullying arc, which made the MC resent him. Yeah, the ML still tried to patch things up back then, but the MC wasn’t interested and never even apologized for how he acted. The MC’s avoidance came from seeing the ML as too risky to rely on like before, realizing the ML’s like a double-edged sword.
Fourth: The MC’s rank dropping? That’s ‘cause he was overthinking and overdoing it during this time. He was obsessed with the ML’s influence on him and at school, trying to find a safer, more stable person to lean on, but it didn’t work out. Through a side character, he figured he’s gotta stand on his own and stop obsessing over school ranks. His beliefs kept shifting to protect himself, and when he and his mom visited the ML’s house, the ML’s sister, with her own jealousy and middle-child issues, felt unloved and thought the ML was the favorite. That’s the belief the MC clung to, to justify avoiding a red flag like the ML. And yeah, the MC did bounce to the US after college exams to chill before uni.
One more thing, if you read the novel, here’s why the MC’s so unreliable. After the ML took an acid hit for him, the MC’s beliefs flipped again ‘cause this time the ML fully had his back. Then the MC realized he was wrong to buy into the ML’s sister’s claim that the ML was the most loved, especially since the ML was in the hospital and his family barely visited, even tossing the guardian card to the MC like they were dumping all responsibility on a stranger. I’ll stop here, but there’s more later showing just how unreliable the MC is.

Girl i just wanna rant how good of a fucking story this is

AND ITS HONESTLY MOST THE PROGRESSION BETWEEN THE CHARACTERS ASIDE FROM THR PLOT

GIIIIIRRRLLL ILAY’S PROGRESSION AS A CHARACTER IS SUUUCH A FEAST TO SEEE

LIKE GIRL JUST LOOK AT THIS RECENT FUCKING UPDATE— TAEUI REALIZING ILAY ACTUALLY LIKES HIM AND IS FINALLY SEEING THE HUMAN SIDE OF HIM??

Honestly i dont even mind not seeing ilay’s background story (like why hes like that) BECAUSE I CAN TOTALLY ACCEPT THAT HES JUST BORN THAT WAY A PSYCHO, AND BY PSYCHO JUST SOMEONE WHO GENERALLY DONT HAVE FEELINGS OF EMPATHY AND ALL THOSE OTHER EMOTIONS N STUFF. Ilay lacks the empathy, and what it means to feel what others feel and stuff like that. So when he finally finds something he actually GENUINELY wants. Hes all flustered and all and its so endearing to see sigh. LIKE LOOK AT HIM?? FINALLY UNDERSTANDING WHYYY CONSENT IS IMPORTANT?? And finally taking into mind TAEUI NOT LIKING SOME STUFF HE DOES TO HIM. In the past hes just been doing whatever the hell he wants to taeui, and maybe its bc he just hasnt seen everything there is to taeui. And or maybe its because hes only JUST intrigued by him. Because hes so different from everyone else it makes him wonder WHYYYY. So yade yade yada he does stuff to taeui to MAYBE experiment on him(most likely), or just seeing what hes going to do, because we kinda do see that he wants to know how taeui will react regarding to these situations.

AND when he finally understands that taeui is just that lovely guy fr fr, hes getting the impression that taeui HATES HIM, AND MOST LIKELY he knows its because of his past actions. But we see that even if he knows that he cant CHANGE all of a sudden. All he does at that moment is just act as it is. He even thinks ahout getting rid of taeui BECAUSE HES ACTING SO DIFFERENT FROM WHAT HE USUALLY ACTS.

HE WANTS TO CHANGE BECAUSE OF TAEUI. He also wants to be loved or treated genuinely by him. And most likely its in his psychopath reasons why he has this possessive tendencies to taeui. Its like seeing a toddler being selfish i swear.

SO finally, we see taeui FINALLY break down fr from all the suppressed stuff he has with ilay (which in this one I have so much more to say but rn im focusing on ilay bc UURRGGH GIRL) when gable walked in on them and yeah that recent chapt. Ilay reacts to this, because this is the time he really feels that taeui hates him or smth and yk alrd. Or even just the sight of taeui being hurt, and its because of ilay, ilay himself just becomes shocked. At this point hes feeling all sorts of emotions. Most likely shock, confused, PAIN, AND MAYBE EVEN EMPATHY?? Which he lacks so much. BUT im even thinking THIS EMPATHY HES FEELING, MIGHT COME FROM HIM WANTING TO JUST BE ON TAEUI’S GOOD SIDE. And urgh i love it so much.

BECAUSE ITS AT THIS POINT, HE WANTS TO CHANGE. HE WANTS TAEUI TO LOVE HIM TOOOOO AHEKWHSHXHDH CRASHING OUT SIGH.

Well all i can say im just really into these freaking trope

Ik its basic but i just really love tropes where a psychopath turns into a changed person because they found someone they want to love, or someone they just really love. And my faves r where its genuinely love NOT obsession. IN THIS CASE, Ilay may have had an obsession with taeui, but as we can see now its progressing into something BETTERRR, SOMETHING GENUINE, SOMETHING GOOOD AAAAAGGHHH.

Anyways, im just happy thats it im so giddy nehehwhdjdhhwwhe god i wish i was a millionaire so i can send money to my fave artists/authors

In the alley, if I remember correctly there were two more dudes that ganged up on him and chased him to beat him up, then he passed out. When he woke up, he was naked and in his house, and like.... Eugh... He got dragged to the bathroom and the dude tried to drown him on the sink till he can't breath anymore and was on the verge of dying, then my memories of the novel arw a bit blurry but it was mentioned that one of the dudes kink was fucking people till they pass out or smth, and since their partners would either run away or can't handle it, he couldn't really love on that fantasy, but the bottom's body is strong and some other creepy shit

congrats but plz i just really want like for taeui to feel good when they're having sex like pls give my boy a rest and actually feel content and pleasure not just pain down there during sex he deserve that prep, ilay man

Am sorry but is it just me, that didn't understand what was going on this whole time? I mean I understood some parts but so much was going at once that it just messed me up. One second they are kissing the other second there having a problem (sort of). I just don't get what is going on can someone tell me?

I finished passion and went on to read passion suite before diaphonic symphonia because I really wanted to see iltae's relationship improve AND BOY WAS I REWARDED
I am at the end of volume 2 and I am so satisfied by how their relationship escalated, that was soooo satisfying, I am obsessed with them, I want to go back and read the other parts but I am really not interested in any of the other passion couples, maybe xinlu and yuri a little.
If someone wants spoilers for suite dm me.

Okay I've been thinking a lot and coming back here. Does anyone have the link to the novel and what chapter this is? I need to know beforehand because I can NOT rest

SPOILERS WARNING-!!!*
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ive read the novel, theyre both f*ck up in the head. i recommend to u dat likes dark romance with physicological issues. trust me, its never going to look up guys. its constantly going down hill and bad bad. im crying for the uke, but dangg hes also weird in the head for trying to talk sense to someone like seme. but i cant blamed him, he was *trained by seme constantly and got issues like stockholm syndrom. seme got mental case and lack emphathy which is terrible combinations. hes blank for feelings and full of chaotic shitty thoughts and messed up so bad of uke life that i gave up understanding his ways of *educating/warning (what he likes to label it) uke after uke tried getting away from his fck up traumatic abuses. i pity uke, and seme really did numbers on uke that i dont think in anyway uke can see the light of his better self. i think u guys can already guess what he can do, seme have no limit in his book. all terrible things u could probably guess is probably one of it. and trust me, gang grape by seme order was not once. idk how ur gonna end up feeling after reading dis. i was hoping for wife chasing trope or hopeful for a good ending but this is too much for me. happy reading guys ^^

Based on the spoilers posted on Novel updates for the book version of this:



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So there will be a scene around ch.11 in the novel where Jun tries to make Yohan eat with his family, and it leads to yohan getting mad and thinking that Jun is making fun of him. He ends up physically attacking him,twisting his arm violently. Yohan ignores him after this point.

From then on their relationship goes completely downhill, and without yohan’s support, Jun has completely been cut off from the classroom’s hierarchy and starts to get bullied.

Idk how bad the bullying is but according to side stories Uke ends up having to repeat the year..and y’all remember he was top of his class, so I’ve got no choice but to assume the worst


Also in another side story, while jun and Yohan are having sex in College, jun says he loves Yohan, who cries because apparently for the entire story up till that point he still thought Jun was in love with that asshole Han Junwoo. Yohan fell in love with Jun the first time he ever saw him, but his dad beat him with a trophy leading to future issues with his memory. (That’s right y’all, sexy papa is actually cunt child abuser.)

OH also apparently they (Yohan and Jun) have their first sexual encounter in a hospital (?!?!?)

I hope that that there will be grovelling from seme,no one’s said anything about that yet

Ngl I guessed Yohan was kinda crazy but after taking a peek at the novel
Dude is as fine as mad.
I was liking their dynamics till he broke Jun arm and all that happened after.
Whats the difference between him and Junwoo now

So far in the novel:
ML is hella crazy, insane, cold, manipulative and a control freak.
ML tells MC he likes MC cz he ain't whiny, clingy or bitchy all over him like his previous "lovers" n hook ups. But ML manipulatively trains and wants MC to be allll over him, it boosts his ego and makes him feel more secured.
ML didn't kill MC's friend and his previous fiance BUT he's THE REASON why they died. Because he doesn't love any of them, it's way worse for the fiance.
ML n the fiance are childhood friends and then become fiance because the girl loves him and he wants to take over her family business and ruin her family, for what you may wonder? Money n power.
ML manipulated n used the girl's love for him to steal important documents of her dad's company for himself which made her feel guilty later on towards her family, she wanted to break off the engagement but ML refused and forcefully did not allow her to do so because he needed her to take over the business.
The girl got so depressed that she got so drunk and purposely died so ML can live in guilt.
And you know what's ML's plan B? Seduce the girl's little sister ( ￣-￣) that sister is absolute shit also, she doesn't care abt her dead sister, she just wants ML for herself n keeps asking ML when can they have sex.
ML is disgusted by MC's friend n his previous fiance for giving the "died at 29" curse cz it brought him alot of troubles involving his reputation.
The sister is the 3rd person MC has been noticing.
ML came up with a play telling the sister to say she forces him to be with her so MC won't be more suspicious of ML. She gladly does it btw (she doesn't know MC is w ML)
ML "break up" w MC but orders ppl to stalk him and keep sending ppl to arrest MC whenever he's trying to do things to forget abt ML.
Barely see any love here because instead of wanting to treasure MC, ML says yea he's the 1st one who can influence my feelings and whenever he's near, I just want to fuck him senselessly and he CAN'T n Not Allowed to refuse him. ML said he ain't into rape but if it's MC, he just wants to rape him even when MC says no.
ML wants to train MC into being submissive but enjoy his sassy side, but it ain't allowed in bed because "If I say I want to cum inside you, you can't say No, you must spread your legs out and say pls cum inside me"
ML is a sex addicted/crazied around MC, and very controlling, to the point he said if he can't have him, he can just kill MC.
Oh yea throughout the story, ML lies 24/7 btw, his life motto is "to bring justice, you have to do illegal things on top of more illegal things"
MC is still in the dark about what's actual happening, he's mostly at home waiting for ML to come home. ML has manipulated n left MC no way of forgetting ML so he's in his lover boy mode now w ML which pleases ML alot, especially his dick.

Alright. This novel is not new. Just a few years old. I think it was released in 21 or 22. Anyways, this novel has been revised now. Initially this novel had some aspects which were severely protested by the korean readers such as the resemblance to nth room case and bestiality. The new versions on ridi and bomtoon has replaced the bestiality (dog) with a sex machine so you might not see the dog sex scene in the webtoon. Though it did happen in the first version. I have read it myself. There is no love till the end. The relationship is of kind of mutual dependence where ML and MC are broken because of each other but can’t live without each other as well. ML due to his obsession of revenge and MC due to his trauma. The ML doesn’t regret anything. Well atleast in the first version he doesn’t. He has broken MC but the satisfaction of that is lukewarm. At the end of novel, it is like ML has now taken over MC and now will keep him with him as a toy/plaything or a pet. It’s just like you have something useless but can’t throw it away for whatever reason so you keep it with yourself stored at home.

All of this is happening because Jiwook used to bully and sexually assault the ML in middle school. Jiwook was initially good with ML AND he was attracted to ML as well. However due to the fear of homosexuality and afraid of peer pressure, he started bullying and sexually assaulting ML after ML confessed to liking him or being gay.

The abuse involved sexually assaulting ML with his friends, like forcing him for blow jobs, rape etc. the last abuse ML suffered was when Jiwook added a bunch of vibrators in his ass and bound him and left him in the washroom near library. One guy was on duty of keeping an eye on him but Jiwook never came back. The ML was super scared and was rescued by the security guard at night. That was day ML’s mom came to know about the abuse ML suffered because he hadn’t been to home that day due to being locked in the washroom. Also, from that day MC stopped paying attention to ML just on a whim, he left him in washroom and just decided that he should now study.

ML’s sexual pics were being circulated around by Jiwook so ML’s mom also happened to see them. From then she hated the lipstick and color red I think (it’s been long since I read it) because in the pic ML had some writings written on him with red lipstick. ML’s mom mental health deteriorated and got admitted to hospital.

ML was initially a very sweet boy buy due to the abuse and bullying he suffered, he became twisted and wanted to take revenge on Jiwook. Then when Jiwook lost his memories of the ML, the ML became more deranged because according to him, only he was suffering and stuck in the past which everyone eventually forgot and moved on from.

Now onto the abuse Jiwook suffers, there is gangbang on two occasions I guess. Both planned by ML. First is similar to nth room case, where ML shares Jiwook’s sexual pics to different people who wants to bang him and has grudge against him. The men will beat him brutally, rape him brutally, and even try to drown him in water basin in pretext of washing his mouth since MC vomited after being punched badly. The rape is really bad. When the men are done, they will take pics and send then to ML. The ML’s thoughts were that he will have to clean up the mess they left on MC and that he didn’t think they will go so hard on MC. No remorse though. Just a apathetic sorry to MC because he expected them to rape MC but not so hard.

The second gangrape is done extremely brutally which is actually allowed by ML. ML even wants it to be done brutally to punish MC. When MC is losing his mind due to abuse in the gangrape, ML is like why are you losing your mind already? The gangrape involves beating, using baseball bat (I think) to fuck him, using urethra plug to force him to ejaculate him again again with pain, urinating in his mouth and asshole, it’s extremely disturbing.

MC will keep asking what he did that ML is doing this to him but ML will not tell until the last gangrape. After the last gangrape, MC will awake in hotel and regain his memories. He will apologize to the ML. Now he is broken and damaged beyond repair. He is so afraid to even go outside without ML because he thinks those men will come again and rape him. Thus he wants to stay with ML . Stockholm syndrome is beginning and will fully kick in the side stories.

The dog bestiality scene is in side story 2 but it has already been changed to a sex machine after the protest.

My pet peeve with this novel is that if it’s marketed as a revenge story and something that will depict the pain sexually abused people feel then it does a pretty shitty job at that. ML is shown to have become completely psychopathic. Given he was abused, given he wasn’t given justice, given his abusers were free but the time he raped and allowed other people to become sexual abusers just like him, he no longer comes in the category of victim.

An eye for an eye, if we go with it then how can you guage the emotional suffering someone has suffered. MC was so brutally abused, broken and even stripped of his humanity with the bestiality scene that do you really think they are on equal foot now? What about the people who gangraped MC? Aren’t those sexual abusers? Is there any difference left between MC and ML. Does degrading someone so much equals to the suffering the ML suffered? Kill Jiwook, beat him up but this whatever the writer wrote nowhere justifies anything. The name “walk in my shoes” is fucked up joke.

This is a fetishized work, because in the end the focus is not on empathy or regret but rather sexual abuse, the degradation and ultimately whatever the author could jam to make it disgusting. Even the thoughts, the dialogues, they are super apathetic. There was a brilliant way to go about this novel if it really focused on the theme of revenge. There are many dark novels/works in the world but this doesn’t even come close to it. It is disgusting porn in disguise of novel.

The people criticizing others who are leaving bad reviews, do you guys even know what the review section is for? It literally asks people to give their thoughts about the work so other audience can know what people thought of this work. If someone wants to say it’s bad or good, they are literally given a section that “here tell people how you felt about it”. That’s the review section. Anything that comes on internet as a means of entertainment or media for people, people do have a right to give their opinion about it. What's so fucking difficult about it? Author and artist can write and draw disgusting shit like this but people can’t even openly give their review? The fuck kind of mentality is that? If you enjoy it then comment that you enjoyed it and be on your way. Stop dictating others to not leave bad review or shut their mouths.

So this is a messed up story. They are two years apart. So no the angry guy isn’t a PD. Is he a POS garbage human being yes. They meet at an Internet cafe when pretty guy was 14 and the angry guy was a first year in high school. It was the beginning of the school year. They both like one another. But the angry one is internalized homophobic. It’s also implied in the later chapters of the aftermath that the angry one was super toxic masculinity because boys and older men lusted after him. In fact the angry one is supposed to be pretty as well. It’s going to be seen more when he loses a lot of weight and his hair grows from being held captive. His body will become very typical twink looking.

The angry guy will get gang sexually assaulted violently to the point of almost dying twice for escaping. The second time his rectum and urethra is going to be ripped and torn. His intestinal tract and rectum will have been ripped and torn. Shattered and broken bones and he doesn’t remember assaulting the pretty guy. Not until the end of the end. It’s implied though that the angry one doesn’t really have parents and got into the gang life as well as being manipulated and abused by the adult gang members. He doesn’t remember due to brain injury. They were all underage. So idk where people are gathering that other then the rival exaggerating because the angry guy was going to fight the younger brother of the rival gang brother. It was only rumor that he was with the pretty guy. He has extreme anger issues after assault because that is what happens in brain trauma and he is not as smart as he was prior to the attack. He is extremely impulsive. Even when told about that he has no memory of filming the pretty guy or any guys. There is no weird stuff with a dog either. The girls he was with were not minors. They were around his age and he himself was a minor. He is a pos for sexually assaulting the pretty guy. And a POs for blackmailing girls he dated.

The angry one is going to be treated as a dog. So I think people are not reading it correctly.

They are not a couple people should aspire. It does show how effects after sexual assault and abuse by someone you’re interested or into can mess you up. It will take five years after the last /second gang sexual assault to angry guy for both pretty guy and him to be in a healthier relationship. They both are in therapy and the angry guy is filled with extreme social anxiety. Because his urethra is ripped apart as well as his genitalia he will not be able to use his penis properly and it will be smaller. So the revenge is extreme. The pretty guy doesn’t feel good about it and he wants the angry guy and takes care of him. The angry guy realizes how messed up he was and remembers in the hospital after being unconscious for a while. He apologizes and doesn’t make excuses. He says his hang ups and said that his feelings for him were mutual but it was his disgust with himself that he took it out on him. It was wrong and he doesn’t hate the pretty guy. He empathize and said he deserves it and worse. The angry guy realizes that the pretty guy life was messed over because of his actions. The pretty guy says he doesn’t want to let him go. And the angry guy said he will do whatever the pretty guy wants as long as he never leaves him. After three years the pretty guy sleeps in the same bed with the pretty guy and they have a better relationship. The pretty guy is graduating two years after the angry guy moves into the room
With him. The pretty guy gives up being in the family business to live a comfortable life with the angry guy and they finally acknowledge that they love one another but are scared of that emotion because it carries so much after they messed each other up.


It’s not for a lot of people. So I recommend not to read it. Or if you need a feel good. Read reunion. Or define relationship.

I know the manwha is supposed to be revised and it is starting to look that way because a lot is shorted and not as violent as it was in the novel.

Hope this helps. It’s not gonna get better any time soon and it’s gonna be super messed up. I still liked it more than sadistic beauty. I hope they don’t do the ripping and stuff or if it is included it’s implied and it is not illustrated. It was just really violent and grotesque in the novel. Like disfigured kind of punishment.

Oh and they are into extreme BDSM after the whole ordeal. Like the angry guy likes being punished and the pretty guy loves doing it. Both are mentioned to be in therapy and all that though. So there is that.

I gave it a high rating because it does show how abuse and assault effect people in the long term and people who have messed up relationships do go the therapy to fix it so it’s interesting to see that aspect. It’s again isn’t a relationship to aspire and is extremely dramatic and fictional.

Are you all seriously comparing Yohan to Junwoo? Yohan would never seek attention through violence.

You’re spoiling the story in a way that makes it seem like everything is Yohan’s fault. His unpredictable mood swings are an unconscious form of manipulation.And just so you know, he has ADHD. When it comes to his family, he REALLY FELT UNLOVED. Maybe to others, it looks like a lie, but he craved attention and needed more than he was given, and from his perspective, that wasn’t entirely wrong. His family was like many wealthy families, too busy to truly care about their children. His family was also as unusual as the way Yohan presents himself. You should read the story because neither the main character nor the male lead has a perfect psychology, it’s complex, not necessarily wrong. It’s a fresh take on BL manhwa, and I truly appreciate that

Jun was thoughtless and careless, never asking Yohan anything before making assumptions and dragging him in front of his family. Even if he meant well, the way he did it made Yohan misunderstand and feel looked down on. Yohan already saw Jun as pragmatic and immature, obsessed with status at school - something Yohan never cared about or even tried to achieve. Do you see the issue here? Even when he was angry at Jun and deliberately ignored him at school, it was only meant as a “punishment.” He had no intention of using violence, despite being well aware of his influence at school. He just wanted Jun to back down first. But if Yohan is a black flag, then Jun is definitely a red flag, because Jun has a huge ego. Jun apologized but didn’t make any effort to reconcile, while Yohan, struggling with ADHD, couldn’t control his frustration and was always the one to reach his limit first. That said, he was never violent toward Jun, so please stop comparing Yohan to the ML in NZS

im rlly shocked by ppl saying hes a black flag. cos for me hes not even half the red of mls like edge of ambiguity or even backlight. trust me ive read the novel. ofc it could just be my opinion but i just cant imagine him as bad as some ppl r claiming him to be


spoiler alert







as for the ‘abuse’ he made jun go through, even jun thought he deserved it (to a certain degree ofc. he thought he served yohans anger and even felt bad for seeing yohan cry. yes he cried). that happened when yohan was seeing red after jun sort of forced him into a situation where he had to directly confront his family(a very religious and homophobic one who r obsessed with saving face). he attempted to assault jun and broke his arm (the 2nd one was unintentional since he even broke the fall that couldve hurt jun and used his own body as a cushion when the two fell to the floor). he did all that cos he thought jun did all that to mock his family situation. its actually a ‘jun thing’ to do cos jun himself has been playing mind games with yohan (at one point he even added his fingerprint to yohans phone lol. dont get me wrong i absolutely love jun as an mc) after that yohan turned his back to jun at school and since the ‘king’ stops supporting the rest of the school who have been jealous of jun starts bullying him (it was nowhere near as bad as what taesan went through tho. probably cos yohan himself did nth except ignore jun. its more of a psychological torment than physical and ppl didnt do it openly more like stealing shoes and making subtle condescending comments and a ball to his face at PE) until jun encountered one of junwoos former lackeys that lost their power when yohan became ‘king’ and boy did jun beat the crap out of him (he also got hurt ofc but this part of the novel is so refreshing cos now we have an mc who didnt need the ml to come save him)

anyways he ended up at the hospital and yohan keeps visiting him. oh i forgot to mention, after a few days of ignoring jun and found out juns feet bandaged (jun hurt his feet after he had to walk home n slippers cos ppl stole his shoes) yohan actually started to talk to jun obviously feeling bad. his goal is actually to make jun cling to him and start talking to him the way he did with junwoo (yohans always hated junwoo for constantly having juns whole focus. this is shown in the epilogues btw) but ofc jun didnt give in at all and he even ignored yohan completely when yohan started talking lol lol. at the hospital they sortof made up? and things went back to how they were before their fight. but now juns changed. hes matured and he’s become independent. he wasnt so scared of the hierarchical system and instead saw the bigger picture which is his own future and focused on nth except maintaining his grades that dropped thanks to yohan and the bullying he went through.
this part is also so good to read cos yohan kept trying to assert his dominance but jun was smart as hell and didnt let it faze him. long story short one of yohans lackeys betrayed him and asked jun to fake confess to yohan so that he could record the thing and spread it at school. jun ofc was smarter than that and stuck with yohan which earned him yohans trust. eventually they finished high school and then theres this thing jun found out abt yohans family (im not gonna spoil this one cos even this shocked me lol and i dont want to ruin ur experience) to sum it up yohans been lying to him abt sth (not completely lying but exaggerated a bit) all to earn juns sympathy and attention which he later admitted to wanting so badly) jun found out, misunderstood and thought yohan completely made it all up. felt betrayed. decided to leave all behind and didnt even bother sharing his college admission test results making ppl including his teachers think he failed etc etc when in fact he went into a prestigious university. he kissed yohan on impulse btw lmao and after that disappeared. oh yh before that he splashed coffee to yohans face saying he hated him. yohan visited him all drunk and pathetic but juns been feeling betrayed and turned him away. the kiss happened, he cut off all ties and connections which made yohan lose his mind ( jun found out only after he met yohans sister later)

he moved to the college dorms and purely by fate yohans his roommate (and yes its purely coincidence and yohan had nth to do with it. in fact yohans been completely miserable after jun ditched him saying he hated him) the lackey that tried to videotape the fake confession ( he got beat up by yohan and got expelled) has been trying to find jun and when he found him he splashed acid at him saying he wanted to destroy the face that yohan liked but yohan covered jun, the acid disfigured his back and three fingers. yohans family dumped him completely into juns hands (jun had a talk with yohans father and found out some things again) they made up and jun let yohan live with him in the dorms.


so yh yohans bad news but not THAT much of it cos unlike other mcs, jun himself is far from a helpless and weak little person. he can handle himself rlly rlly well. and in fact he’s probably one of the very few mcs who ACTUALLY got away from the ml until ofc fate brought them back tgt and not the ml himself. yohans bad but hes also down bad for jun. the yearnings there and in his defense, jun is also super good at acting unaffected towards what yohan does which completely drives him crazy. in fact theyre both crazy and theyre both red flags. read the novel and youll find out about the whole power struggle between the two lolol. both r super manipulative but in my opinion i think i find yohan not as bad is probably cos jun can actually handle him. yh he went thru hell cos of yohan but eventually it was yohan who started to make up with jun. in fact even then jun asked to be simple classmates which ofc infuriated yohan lol. after the bullying jun became even stronger mentally and saw through many things and lastly jun in fact used yohan to maintain a peaceful hs life after the incident changed his behavior towards yohan. and after he ghosted yohan before college yohan became so docile when they met at the dorms and listened to jun when he lashed out and told him to leave the dorms looking all sad and miserable
i recommend yall to read the novel. nth is more entertaining than two mcs having a power struggle especially when theyre both cunning af. dont let those cmts saying yohans a black flag stop you cos like i said its not as bad as that AT ALL. im not defending yohan i just find it a waste to not pick this up cos the novel is just super good. at least for me it is. and the mc. i just love love love mcs like these. physically strong mcs r good and all but this one has a strong mentality even WITHOUT any traumas associated to his past.


btw u can find the novel translated on novel light or novel bin and the korean one on booktoki. the translated versions stop at 19.2 so use a VERY good translating app for the rest of the chapters. try not to miss out cos its even more than what u read. some things r only implied and u have to pick up some others on ur own. the same way u need to when reading novels like passion. have a nice read guys ^^

Coming back here after reading yohan's pov at the end of the novel...

I just want to say that after he fallen in love at first sight on Jun, he became such a fool, so silly and sad. He just want to go to the cafeteria early to catch Jun sight, to catch his attention but knowing Jun have a crush on Junwoo, he just look like a bystander even Jun thought Yohan always glaring at him during their first year. There's a few time when Yohan try to initiate a conversation with Jun but got ignore instead lol even his hand lifted awkwardly in the air after greeting him. The second hand embarrasment yall .

Also, there's a part where Yohan began socializing with Junwoo right, he thought what did he see in Kang Jun that made him have the feelings towards him turns out he just one of Junwoo's lackey, kissing up their asses like the others do, nothing interesting.

Oh boy, just when Yohan start to lose interest he saw the note Jun written on his paper exam! The words of encouragement remember?
Even his father won't say anything encouraging to him heck, his father wont even see the exam paper, something along the line.

The lines that got me so much when Yohan says, turns out all this time when he befriended Junwoo and the gang, he always judged Kang Jun through Junwoo's eyes. When he realised this, he hate Junwoo even more now. Do yall see this? The way he thinks?? Speechless.

Yeah, Yohan fall for Kang Jun because he got fair skin, got halo around him in the middle of a cafeteria hah. So silly. So lovable yohan.

Like I mentioned about Shin Jae Hyun, he's so fr SMART.
Literally 4-5 chapters of Shin Jae Hyun telling Kang Jun (MC) his analysis of the whole bully situation n ML.
- Everyone in the school love Junwoo (ew), they actually love Junwoo more than ML. They both admire n love Junwoo. So when ML dragged him down n tossed him aside, everyone was and still in disbelief. And since ML used rumors to label Junwoo as "the disgusting gay guy who loves men's ass", everyone is scared of associated w him, so whenever they talk abt Junwoo, that's all they can talk abt, using that label to talk abt him. (They ALWAYS talk abt Junwoo cz they miss him n love him)
- Shin Jae Hyun knows ML is hella insecure and is gay. He said he knows ML is obsessed w MC even suggested MC to just kiss him if MC wants ML to do anything for him. He also pointed out, despite that, anyone who even dare to mention ML being gay at all will be punched, beaten down n threaten by ML. It's him being scared n insecure abt ppl knowing he's gay (boils down to his traumas caused by his family).
- Shin Jae Hyun points out the fact that the way MC is being bullied is very weird. N the fact that more than 90% of the bullying is from all other classmates is because they all have been jealous of MC (from being closed to Junwoo to being protected by ML AND in their eyes, MC is the definition of "Perfection", good background, have money, good grades and good at socializing).
- Shin Jae Hyun also says there r 2 types of ppl when they see or have someone who's "better than them" close to them. Either destroy n belittle them or want to become them. Junwoo wanted to destroy MC, ML wants to BECOME MC. That's why ML keeps trying and is pretending to like studying and always look irritated whenever he socialize w other (u can see it through him talking "buddy-buddy" w Junwoo's old followers).
- ML became close to Junwoo to wait for a moment to strike and destroy him. Junwoo's biggest mistake is allowing ML to be close to him (but that's on him because he saw MC as more of his competitor than ML).
- MC though still wants to distance himself far away from ML, he doesn't like it when ppl n Shin Jae Hyun talk badly abt ML. MC is also worried that if Shin Jae Hyun can see right through him, ML and everything, everyone may as well also know which is bad for his image (this gives him a lot of frustration)