Estheria's Favorite

What happened in chapter 24?

For ppl who giving novels spoiler but complaining about who’s the end game, pls do yourself a favor and try to understand the 3rd and 4th volume more properly. Its clear how the author potrayed the mc obsession towards the boys, how he found the person he really loves but still left them and running back to simon and jerome. Many parts of the novels sucks but the way mc acts is clear and the way mc and ml being together isnt forced at all, its actually the mc who force Jerome to gives up everything and life a quiet life with him.

Another thing I wanna add, Jerome isnt the reason mc get raped, the others is raped him and Anna cant stand it so she bring mc to distract the boys from Jerome. In the novel, the other victim who still alive didnt hate Jerome bcs most of the time hes drugged and forced to rape ppl, thought this is diff case for mc, hes sober and willingly to do it bcs he likes mc, hes bad but you cant deny the others played bigger role than him this case, he will get punished and gang raped in front of ppl watching(club) if he ever deny Hugh orders.

look, as chronically online person who read a ton of toxic red flag "dark romances", ill take this type of story any day over than some smut-filled rapist apologist romanticized story where a rapist becomes a good lover bc he falls for mc, whom he hitherto treated as a sex toy, and it becomes wholesome bc the mc "fixed" him. at least in this story, jerome only raped raymond bc he was driven crazy with a need for revenge and lacked autonomy bc he was under the thumb of hugh's family. and even then, it only lasted one arc, in which he came to respect mc's strong will to not break and perseverance, which was the groundwork for his future actions helping mc. for the rest of the arcs, since he wasn't compelled to, he doesn't SA mc again until mc is willing, and made no acts to appear to care about him until the most critical moments. he legitimately has no power and authority to wield, and that one time he helps mc at the risk of exposing himself, he actually suffers the consequences and is drugged and made a spectacle (and at that point, Raymond still despised jerome and contributed in humiliating jerome). and why this is such a significant act is bc jerome was actually treated the same way as raymond, and this is the basis for his revenge, so he basically willingly risked undergoing the same trauma again and sacrificing the revenge he worked on for ~15 years just to help raymond. and this isnt the only selfless act he did for mc. novel jerome is 10x more compelling and complex than your typical black flag ml will ever be. but if u want cliche powerful capricious rapist ml who submits to mc after hitherto forcing him to his whims, this just isn't for u. if u want a cathartic revenge story, ultimately it is (Raymond gets his revenge and so does jerome) but it is also a very gritty and nuanced exploration of Stockholm syndrome, depicting realistically to a degree the self-gaslighting, self-hatred, resignation, and emotional dependency of the victims.

let me mention as well, Raymond doesn't fall for jerome even after his enacting revenge twice and knowing jerome is a victim too and ONLY after jerome saves his life, and this was the catalyst to choosing love over hatred for the sake of his own survival. yes he has stockholm syndrome, but it was neither affection or sympathy, it was just a parasitic emotional bond based on trauma. after raymond tried to kill jerome at the end of the first arc, he actually managed to kill him in the third but he immediately revived him not bc of love but bc of said emotional bond. it was then he realized he couldn't live without "the boys" even when he desperately wanted to kill them. he couldn't move on from them either, so the only way to survive in the world with them was to give up on revenge, suppress hatred, and resign to love instead. after more than a decade of hate. it had nothing to do with "he's changed to someone I can love so I should give him a chance". (and if u think this is stupid, jerome thinks so as well. he is the one to reignite raymond's hatred.) the author makes it very fucking clear that what jerome did is unforgivable and even if he beg and save mc it would not rectify his wrongs, and this is reflected in jerome's actions when he keeps a distance from mc even after mc falls for him and only tries to seduce him/be openly affectionate and kidnap him to a remote inn to live together away from reality when mc loses his memories of his trauma (ngl was my fav part of the novel cuz it provided a lot of insight on jerome's character). and when mc recovers his memories, jerome becomes cold and wants to run away again. anyway, that's why I think this is better than the stories where the narrative pussyfoots around making rapist MLS not quite irredeemable bc they were raised into an arrogant POS, had a sad backstory, and/or the mc "enjoyed" the sex.

ill also say, that the other characters (hugh & George) and (nicholas & Christine) actually exemplify what happens to a unromanticized relationship based on stockholm syndrome if the victim didn't have the necessary mental resilience and the abuser doesn't see their lover as equals and still wanted to control them. hugh remain an abusive scum even after falling for George, who in turn became as twisted as hugh and just gaslighted himself to accept being his pet and sex toy bc of love. the victim of the second couple couldn't gaslight themselves into being happy, but he also couldn't reconcile his love and hatred. so he chose to go down the path of death. (raymond & jerome) only end up together bc raymond is mentally strong enough and jerome is just a traumatized normal person who loves raymond more than his own life but is completely aware of his own sins. all in all, if u can handle these types of dark thriller stories, this is for u; u can criticize the literary tropes themselves, but u cant immediately dismiss the story as "bad" just for having them if u haven't even read it.

Some people say that this is worse than non zero sum and no reason. I guess if you count the amount of gang rape+rape in it then yeah. It depends on what exactly you deem as worse (like is physical violence the worst for you or amount of rape, mindbreak, etc).But in my opinion I think non zero sum and no reason is worse- FOR NOW at least until the full manhwa is still ongoing and I actually see the contents in its entirety. I think it’s cause in this one, the mc seems to fight back a lot? Compared to non zero sum, where it the mc is totally mindbroken there. And no reason had some pretty stomach-turning moments that I can’t forget. (That one fisting scene made me wanna vomit). Although if you don’t count that scene maybe I’d think this is worse than no reason?

Ngl I’m surprised these specific genre of dark BL authors haven’t just written full crime documentaries lmfao. That would actually make more sense if they put all that thought to work. It’s pretty wild that there’s still more horrible real life stories worse than these BL fiction works. (Like junko furuta case. If an author actually had that level of detail, I’d genuinely be terrified).
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Anyways on another note, I checked out the novel spoilers thread and despite there being the most content of spoilers there, the way the spoilers was written was so hard to understand- it didn’t make sense at times. It’s like reading a wattpad story of a scene and trying to imagine the scene being described and the writer isn’t making sense LOL. (Ex: “He pushed me against the wall and stared into my eyes. I felt hot as I was on my stomach shivering beneath him). I would read one part of a spoiler of a scene but then some stuff wouldn’t even make sense and felt like a part was taken out to jump to the next action of the characters.

It’s better written here if you find someone who shared spoilers in the comments from what they read in the novel. And maybe like one review was a bit detailed on the novel page reviews section (which still wasn’t enough because they also said they didn’t want to spoil much).

Continued in comments of what I read in the spoilers, below

Can someone explain what the MC has that makes him special to illay and the other guy without spoiling? Wanna start reading again but got confused last time

Am I the only one who cannot feel any chemistry between Ilay and Taeui? Like idk I just don't see much of a relationship or stuff like that after so many chapters. It stills feels the same that Ilay is an asshole and Taeui has to suffer through his bs. I mean it is a slow burn but I just don't see a loving relationship in the future for them. Can the novel readers spoil that for me?

Things im curious abt
1. Is the uke a virgin?
2. Is the seme a virgin? (Prolly not)
3. If seme has someone he holds dearly, why did he call for a companion?
4. Is the seme the type to look for one night stands and not have proper relationships.

The commander or ml? Is he really a playboy?

I dont like it so much if the ml is a playboy, can someone please tell me or spoil me?

Is the seme really slept with the ex?

Or he was just pretending to be the ex's new lover??

There’s a lot of moments in the novel where there’s just almost no way you could interpret their interactions as platonic. I found someone’s tumblr where they do translate a few chapters and snippets of chapters that highlight the homoerotic tension between them. Right now there’s about 15 or so posts ranging from translations from chapters 399-797. Their tumblr handle is lalune9x. One of my fave chapters lalune9x has translated and posted on her blog is chapter 469 where Yoojin declares to Hyunjae that he wants him to live however recklessly he wants and he’ll make sure it happens and that even if Hyunjae disappears or tries to run away, Yoojin will always drag him back. He confesses this in front of Taewon and Hyuna who are also there lol, and Yoojin blushes and can’t look Hyunjae in his face and hightails it out of there after that statement. Hyunjae’s reaction is also quite telling, hiding his face and saying that it drives him crazy. Ive bought some of the chapters on Ridibooks to compare the MTL translation and the tumblr creator really is doing gods work translating the Korean chapters and explaining the nuances of the Korean words

Is the seme a playboy who slept around before meeting the uke?

Is there a scene where the seme slept around or the uke getting raped by other people?

Cause when this scenes are included, I know it red flag ╥﹏╥

Is both of them sleep around?
(The comments are little vague so I want an explanation)

And will there be a drama where an ex fwb or a real ex will try to break them apart?

Lastly, when will we get the pregnancy arc? Will it only appear in the side stories?

Insta lust to insta love.

Seme approached uke with the intention of a pump and dump but after they fuck he decides he wants to be with him.

Later seme gets amnesia and forgets his relationship with the uke. He is pretty horrible and uke moves out. Seme picks up a girl and goes home with her. He doesn’t end up doing anything but making out because the uke texts him and seme leaves while the girl is in the shower.

The author kinda downplays semes behavior by still making him down bad for the uke even while he has amnesia and pushes him away. Like “I’m going to sleep with a girl because I definitely don’t want to sleep with that guy!!” But then can’t get it up when he’s with the girl. Not really my cup of tea for a realizing mistakes/chading arc but ┑(￣Д ￣)┍

If this is a BL story Moondae will be ship with everyone. I mean he have chemistry with every one in the group. And oh, I dunno why but I kinda like him and Vtic's leader. Lol

This is a spoiler but there is no cliffhanger for chapter 14. Reason being, Chase is only able to find out that Josh is the guy he slept with during his rut nearing the end of volume 3 of the novel (last volume).

How the story progresses is that Josh protected Chase from "dogs" and then Chase starts to develop feelings for Josh.

Some where in the middle when Josh went to collect drugs for Chase, he realise that Chase's brother (forgot his name) brainwashed Chase into thinking that he slept with a dog, which cause him to have the trauma with dogs.

Then the misunderstandings comes in whereby Chase gets jealous of Pete's mom (Chase doesn't know he is Pete's mom) when he overhears the conversation (or rather, Isaac's confession) between Josh and Isaac.


Afterwards, the whole bodyguard crew + Chase saw the mark on Josh's ear and Chase got even more sad and jealous, causing more misunderstandings.

That's when Josh wanted to clear the misunderstandings so Josh told Chase that he want to introduce Pete to Chase and they went to the amusement park. Josh left Chase with Pete, wanting to allow the both to get familiar with each other when Pete ran off to "Jason" and then to save Pete, Chase overcame his fear of dogs, then later finds out that (Josh told Chase) he did not sleep with dogs and that he slept with Josh and Pete is his son. (and they had more kids)

Yall should read the novel, it's completed but yeahh that's how it ends and I hope the author will have some side stories

is the seme a virgin

A remind for you forgetfuls of what we know thus far.

Character Summary:
Zeo - ML. Adopted son of Chairman Hyeon. Director, later President of Songyeon.
Rawon - MC. Employee of Songyeon Hotel&Resorts. Snarky but pragmatic.
Jiwon - MC's troublemaking brother and Editor K of Royal Style (magazine). On a vigilante revenge quest.
Kang Sejeong - daughter of Chairman Kang, and owner of Royal Style. Has a secret partnership with Zeo, and is a backer for Editor K.
Geonhyeong - Sejeong's deceased boyfriend/bodyguard.
Seongyu - Jiwon's deceased ex-lover, and Julia Kim's illegitimate son.
Julia Kim - Sejeong's and Seongyu's mother/wife of Royal Groups Chairman Kang. Gossip provider for Editor K.
Mr Joo - Rawon's shitty boss  
Ms Nahyeon - Rawon's shitty ex-girlfriend
Ms Cha - Zeo's secretary
Hyeon Hakjoon - Chairman of Hyeon Corp. Zeo's adoptive father.
Hyeon Eunjo - Hakjoon's daughter. Zeo's sister (unsure if blood related or not). Warns Zeo not to hold onto important things (Rawon), as her ex-husband was ruined by their own father.
Chairman Kang - owner of Royal Group. Alleged killer of both Seongyu and Geonhyeong.

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Story Summary:
Zeo while keeping tabs on Editor K, runs into Rawon (his employee) and Jiwon at a gay bar, and forms an interest in Rawon, whom he later assigns to the Jeju Resort project. They become closer over the duration of the project. Though, Rawon has no idea his brother Jiwon is Editor K.

Editor K is an infamous writer for the magazine Royal Style, owned by Kang Sejeong (the heiress to Royal Group), which spills dirty secrets on the rich. Few know who he is or how he gets his information.

Zeo is forced by his adoptive father (Chairman Hyeon) to marry Kang Sejeong so they can acquire Royal Style (the aforementioned gossip mag), and consequently: Editor K. But unbeknownst to everyone, Zeo already has a secret cooperation with Sejeong to overthrow each other's respective companies. Simply put: Zeo wants to overtake Chairman Hyeon, and Sejeong wants to destroy Chairman Kang.

During the resort project, Rawon finds out about Sejeong's secret relationship with her bodyguard, Geonheyong, despite being Zeo's alleged fiancee. She's even pregnant. Amidst the awkwardness, he still helps plan Zeo and Sejeong's fake wedding much to his chagrin, only to find that Zeo has purposely bailed, leaving one furious CEO father. Rawon catches a fist for Sejeong from Chairman Kang; to which later Zeo found out about...and the problem was *ahem* dealt with in an appropriate manner by sources unknown.

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Fast forward to the current events:
Geonhyeong is suddenly dead; supposedly run over by a truck, in the same manner Seongyu was killed. Sejeong is in mourning. She knows he was killed in the same way her (half?)brother(?) Seongyu was: by the alleged hands her own father.

Rawon has trouble keeping contact with Zeo because of how busy he is during the aftermath, but doesn't remember their drunken tryst. Meanwhile Mrs. Cha warns Zeo that Rawon might get dragged into the crossfire between the two groups.

Jiwon is writing a detailed corruption report on Zeo. He is willing to work for Kang's mother-daughter pair Sejeong and Julia Kim in hopes of taking down Chairman Kang, as revenge for his deceased lover, Seongyu. He has a grudge against the rich and wants to follow in the footsteps of Seongyu's vigilante paparazzi lifestyle.

Zeo knows what Jiwon is up to, and finally spills the beans to Rawon that his brother is more than just a hoodlum troublemaker on the outside. That he's secretly in a world of underground trouble as Editor K. He even previously let Jiwon purposely see them make out for fuel to the fire.

Rawon confronts Jiwon; and they make a deal. In exchange for Jiwon quitting his dangerous job and going to military service, Rawon has to quit Songhyeon and stop seeing Zeo. Rawon eventually does quit his job and decides to see Zeo one last time...and possibly also one more tryst.

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Side notes:

We know that Sejeong, Julia, and Jiwon want to take down Chairman Kang because he killed their loved ones. We don't actually know yet Zeo's motives for wanting to takeover Hyeon Group; nor his relationship with his adoptive father.
But presumably, it seems that both fathers have been doing shady things. Chairman Hyeon is absorbing and overtaking small companies, bringing them to ruin.

Whatever gossip report Jiwon has on Zeo is likely alleged without hard evidence, because it feels as though Zeo knows, and may actually have predicted for this to happen, as he's still in partnership with Sejeong for their "revenge". It is likely that he deliberately edged Jiwon on purpose to pull Rawon and himself out of the danger zone while he finishes the last phase of his plans.

Zeo and Rawon are mutually in love. Rawon doesn't have any confidence a relationship with a conglomerate rich beau would ever work out in seriousness; so he's half-heartedly in the relationship as a casual fling. Meanwhile, Zeo is most likely serious but he has a lot on his plate he needs to clean up first; what with the whole corporate takeover. Aside from that, their relationship is actually decent.

I'm on Chapter 68 in the novel rn, and man, ML is crazy. Not entirely his fault but he's just as pathetic as the other guy.
ML is the middle son of his house, his house is very successful and rich, AND very religious (not in being delulu in religion but very much like strict n "gotta be pure and perfect" type of way). His family knows he's gay, that's why they treat him like an outsider, even his baby sister doesn't see ML as a human, only a failed product leaching onto her family.
ML used to get in alot of fights before going to school w MC, he also didn't do well in school so it just adds on into reasons why his family can't accept him at all.
ML is also very insecure whenever he's with his family or even be seen by his baby sister (he would literally break down and cry), there's no love, no attention no nothing in his home. He wouldn't even dare to eat when his family is home.
Later you will know why ML refuses to admit his love for MC, he yearns for him but the relationship between him n his family mess him up, he was hella scared and even holding his head screaming like trauma response when MC found out abt ML having tons of pictures of MC in his phone. (ML stalked MC since forever)
Since the feelings r now mutual and MC knows ML is similar to him when it comes to having shame/guilt for being gay. MC told ML that he will help him deceive his family and want to help him being seen by his family in a better light.
It helps at the start as ML dad likes MC (only cz he's a useful son to his family w academic background) but later ML can't handle it since being more close n close to his family is too traumatic to him so he crashes out and start hurting MC. Which scares MC alot so he just runs away and can't shake off his fears for ML.
And there's a tag about ML regretting so this is probably when MC gonna start distancing himself from ML

i wanna gatekeep so bad but for the love of LITC, read this manhwa. go yohan, you will always be loved (had to say this sorry). i rarely get deep into a manhwa but trust me when i say you won't be disappointed with the story. i have finished the novel and while there are some small topics it doesnt address, its very realistic compared to other manhwas. it depicts the teen social hierarchy so well and the idea around homosexuality mirror the real world. BEST OF ALL, the mc is not a frail little thing, he actually has a sense of survival and is incredibly insightful when it comes to social interaction.