Maria's Things

Ever since I read the word "punish " in r18 comics, it became a kinly word to me. 'Cause whenever I read that in any manga/hwa/ua, the first thing that comes to my mind is the kinky things that they'll do. Like, I take the word as a joke now or in a kinky way (˙ᵕ˙ ) Lmaooo even if it's a serious scene, I can't take it seriously. Sorry, my bad.

There's definitely a stronger word than "punish," right?

And does anyone also think like me xD

Okay so, you know the scene in Horimiya where they had sex, right? The time when I was reading it, I was happy for them, blushing and such. But now? When I saw the pictures from that scene in anime, I don't know what I really felt. Was I feeling shy by seeing it? was it disgust? Or am I just jealous? I was so confused because I felt so uncomfortable and I don't get it why. Maybe I mistook my jealousy as disgust but why do I feel so conflicted like I hope they didn't include that in anime.

Please don't get mad at me. It's not like I'm really against it. Just confused why am I so bothered by it when I used to loved them and cheer for them. In fact, I'm still reading the manga.

I know that some or maybe most of you might be mad at me. I don't know if this is hipocrisy, I just want to state my thoughts regarding on this issue.

I just want some of you guys who keep forgetting that you need to remember we are reading on an illegal site. We have no rights or anything to talk back to the authors. We don't own any rights to claim a comics like it is ours. It is their comics, and we aren't paying anything so we don't have any rights to make excuses. I'm saying this because I found a lot of comments or even in twitter people acting like that.

I really sounds like acting the good guy here lol. I'm not saying we should stop reading here, and I can't say we should respect the authors since we aren't respecting them already by reading illegaly hahaha we should just not act like we own the comics

>I'm a girl and a straight
>I mostly read yaoi
>Can't read/watch straight hentai with plot coz I imagine myself as the girl

So, the problem is I'm totally fine reading yuri. How do I explain this. I got, let's just say, turned on by that sometimes(?). My first ever porn that I watched is two girls doing it. When I was around 7 or 8 maybe? I saw a glimpse on an anime in the tv, the clothes that the girls are wearing is kind of revealing. And guess what, I got intrigued. Now, I'm watching porn just for the girls. I'm also reading hentai just for the girls. I also like the tag "solo action." I won't say anything more than that but I think you can tell my problem. I'm starting to doubt if that's normal when you're a straight but I only had crushes on guys. My current emotions are in a mess rn. I sometimes imagine having a partner either a man or woman just to confirm which gender I really am attracted to? Sometimes I'm feeling happy and inlove but sometimes it's disgusting for me. It just confuses me because since I was a kid, I really like seeing a woman's body BUT seeing a dick irl, disgusts me. I'm thinking this for years now if I'm really straight?
Maybe, I'm forgetting some details here, but ask me to be clear on something! Please don't say any hateful comments, I'm easily hurt :'( If I said anything wrong here, you can correct me without being mean :'(

Ps. If my grammar is kind of confusing, you can also ask me what I meant by it.

How can you message a person here if they're aren't even that active? I think a bot or idk sent me a message to a pornsite idk. I only commented once last month and I got shocked that I received a message like that. Someone I knew is active on commenting and such here but she never did receive anything like that lol.