Momomocha's Manga

Made a whole dang album just to worship this story ㅠㅠ I think i just fell in love with the jester, like seriously HOW CAN HE BE SO ROMANTIC. Mans ENAMORED, COMPLETELY SMITTENED. LOOK AT HIS GAZEEE. HE SO SWEETT N HES SO POETIC TOO ITS LIKE IM READING A LOVE LETTER EVERYTIME HE TALKS AB HIS FORBIDDEN LOVE FOR THE PRINCESS. AUGHH MY HEARTT AND MY BRAIN TOO LMAO WHAT ARE THESE WORDS??

I absolutely adore how this story is spoken from a jesters pov. It makes it all the more interesting to me bc hes like a fly on the wall, just like us. His powerlessness in the grand scheme of things makes the angst all the more tragic. Id like to see more of these jester pls, i could swallow them right up scrum dilly yum yum.

But in all honesty, this was such a heavy read. I literally had a semi permanent scowl (except for the sweet moments) throughout my reading. I dont see how there can be a happy ending. Everyone has hurt and been hurt too much to heal completely. Everyone is so broken by loss, suffering, and trauma that i left feeling so empty inside. I have mixed feelings. VERY mixed. All sorts of colors jumbled up and turned into this big mush of black. Cuz this shts dark af. Everyone is a victim, whether they be a victim as a result of other people's doings or their own. What i think this story does an amazing job at is creating depth with words. I sometimes find myself rendered speechless because the way its written at times just hits deep yo. A tragedy through and through. I just, auughhhHhhhhHHHHhHHHHHH. JESTER I LOVEE YOUUU SWEETTYYY YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MOREE AND EVERYONE TOOO FK YOUR CIRCUMSTANCESS NONE OF YOU DESERVE THIS MISFORTUNEE. I feel like everyones just grasping at straws here because theyre so pained by their loss and fear of losing what they cherish that they resort to such cruelty. Plss huhu why must we blame the hurt we experienced on those who did not cause it? All this misplaced resentment and disdain will only serve to hurt more, because once theyre gone, what then? Are you going to direct your anger and misery to someone else then? Why must we make someone else be just as miserable as us in the cruel hands of fate that has abandoned us? Why even to those that have done literally nothing, or have done nothing but to love and devote themselves to us? The story hasnt ended, yet its telling how futile everything was because there are people who will remain selfish in the end or turn selfish because their selflessness was taken for granted so they give themselves to those they know wont take advantage of them, which is their own selves. They think its a choice they have to make in order to not be hurt again by closing themselves off to others and giving back the same hurt they received but its self-destructive because theres no real winners in this entire facade, of false hopes for salvation. I could go onn and onnn but i think you get my point on this end. Its time to explore the characters.
To start off, the jester. I have a soft spot for jesters so this one comes with a massive scoop of salt and a heaping mountain of sugar. He makes me sob. My poor baby. It hurts seeing him hurt and my heart swells whenever i see him so irrevocably in love with the princess even if it isnt healthy for him to do so. His devotion and loyalty is unlike any other, kindly, where THE FUCK can i find my own jester like him? Cuz how is it possibly to swoon someone this much? I just wish he had a better master :(( bc I felt such a deep pit in my stomach everytime he tries to battle with his morality over his love for princess verona. Like, imagine how it feels to be so in love with someone only for them to betray who you thought they were? But then youd rather continue loving this person who you dont even recognize bc its the only thing you know, and this attachment you have for them is less scary than being alone? He loves princess verona for who he believed she was, but he was met by the cold harsh truth that she didnt want to seek redemption, or rather, she was beelining her way straight towards her ruin bc shes so incredibly desperate and filled with so much hate in her. Yet he continues loving her even despite this twisted turn of events bc hes clinging on to their memories together and these little showers of affection she gave him. Talk about trauma bonding, like yeeeesh. When i tell you, i audibly gasped at the scene where he got hit by verona multiple times. EXCUSE ME?? That moment shocked me to the core cuz it was the very first indication that she was capable of being so violent. It was so harsh cuz the jester was just being completely reasonable! Its a goddamn child hes worried about, who did nothing wrong. But noo lets fck her over like a small pebble on the road getting kicked around, run over, until it shatters and becomes completely unrecognizable bc apparently thats the best course of action. I DONT GET WHYYY, okay i mean i kindaa sorta know its bc shes gone through so many struggles, and her will to give kindness has been reduced to nothing, and she didnt know how to handle the storm of rage brewing inside of her in a healthy way, but come on! Why resort to such extremities first and foremost? Idek why im asking these questions. She just is who she is. But tbh ig doing this was pretty effective at letting us go through the inner turmoil the jester went through seeing the person he loves become...not so lovable, like a flip of a switch. It was jarring isnt it? It felt so unnatural and made you go "no way.." or "hit her new low" for the 5th time. I was just waiting with bated breath just expecting things to go down really horribly and damn she just manages to surprise me everytime. I am absolutely floored! Cuz man, i feel so grounded and pretty sane compared to her! Cuz what i wouldve done is yknow..build a good relationship with princess lux since ur still family and shes a young, impressionable, and lonely child. I believe she wouldve had ample amount of time to kindly convince her to renounce her claim to the throne bc i dont believe their deadbeat dad would immediately find the balls to act right for once. if it concerns her safety, why not offer her a place where she can be securely guarded? Or if you still want to go the bad route, why not build you rapport with your little sister and gain everyones trust that you would do no harm to her? I mean, i believe poisoning her wouldve sufficed, gets the job done cleaner than hiring an assassin to maime her. You could just blame it on some other folks wanting to get rid of the daughter of the witch bc she if she were to reign, who knows what will happen to the rest of the kingdom who wished for her mothers death? Tell em her reign would bring doom and curse everyone under the sun and moon. oh, the blasphemy! Or do smth else, i dunno man, just smth that is not so..cruel? A plan where you can have some hope of being redeemable? Im going off the rails here.

The princess. I find her so hard to understand, like i try to but i just dont think my brain can work at full capacity at 4 am. There were times where i was so co fused by her actions. Shes hot one second then cold the next. Shes unpredictable, yet shes also predictable when you look at the bigger picture. Shes doing whatever she can to claim her position on the throne, with any means necessary, that much is certain. I want to feel for her, i really do, but youve got a small child trying to find her place in somewhere that has constantly made her feel like she didnt belong and outright chased her out from and then theres a grown adult trying to murder her and coax her into killing herself so is there really a competition on whose side i should choose? Sorry jester, i dont got the delusions like you do. Something about her irks me. But i cant look away from her. And i am so confused! I dont want to cheer her on, but shes done so much for what she thought was her sole purpose in life, which is to become a monarch who is worthy of ruling over the people, something she thought her father wasnt, that i cant help but also not want her to get the short end of the stick. What shes gone through mustve felt so dehumanizing to her, bc her father treats her like she didnt even matter, like shes next to nothing to him, like a thing not even worth sparing a glance for. Or maybe thats just me giving her the benefit of the doubt. I dont really know how the king treated her personally outside of their duties. But still, shes been stuck between a rock and a hard place, constanly being suffocated with her efforts unrecognized, unrewarded. She is a princess who holds so much power over her subjects yet shes made to feel powerless time and time again. And then comes a little girl whos very existence threatens to take your place and crumble all the years youve spent working your way up to where you currently are. She couldve lost the only thing she thought she had after the loss of her mother and subsequently her father. The recent chs. 78-79 tells us she grew up with a twisted mind, which, yeah, i see that. But i wonder if theres some underlying compassion beneath this hard and ruthless exterior of hers cuz she was just a child. A lonely one. Something tells me that even though she has matured, shes still a child inside who hasnt grown out of her stubborness and the security of her little castle, which is her ego. Its sad really, bc i want to believe shes the kind and warmhearted person that annette and the jester see her as who has been jaded by her life circumstances and is just laying dormant somewhere in there. She just needs to learn how to contextualize her resentment better and where she should place these overwhelming feelings. I believe she hasnt healed fully from her grief and is still going through stages of it. But i digress on that part bc im basing these off of assumptions. Anways shes a dck. Like wtf. Youre messed up booboo! Do better. Be better. For your sake and everone else's. You already have blood in your hands so why not punch your dad in the face, throw him in the grave with his numerous wives and lovers instead. Man, everybody needs therapy here istg. Not excusing veronas actions btw. Shes done some batshit crazy stuff. Just tryna see from her pov cuz she broke my heart bruv i rlly thought she was so captivating and charming but she was just a lone rose in a bush made of thorns that hurts anything that comes close to it. And I dont like how she reminds me of her father and their unhealthy ways of handling their suppressed emotions.

Princess lux. Can you believe that were nearing 2024 and this doesnt have a tragedy tag? She is by far the most tragic character here bc she lost everything due to reasons that werent even in her control. Her whole family only cared enough about feeding their selfishness. She saw things a child shouldnt have experienced. She grew up surrounded by death that something in her died alongside those she couldnt protect. She was supposed to be a child. But she became the very same things that tormented her. A husk of her former self fuelled by loathing and desire to seek retribution, without regards to those that care for her or others outside her act of vengeance. What the fk bro. Lennox!! So many people he couldve saved! And you ended up not needed a cure for princess verona cuz she stayed awake throughout her sickness. You killed one of the people on your side that you vowed to protect...you killed someone innocent...Youve become just like verona and its not a pretty sight to see. I think this is what the prologue meant when the warmth of good people is lost, only to be replace by a biting cold that cuts deeply because you see just how warm they could be. Its heartbreaking watching this innocent, kind, warmhearted girl lose what made her so bright in a world so dark and cruel to her. The jester mustve felt like he was losing verona all over again and there was nothing he could do but to weep. Princess lux only wanted to be accepted and protected. She didnt even involve herself in the politics by her own choice she was dragged into it and inadvertently dragged through the mud. Im disappointed verona. Ok Sleep is catching up so ill end it there. My brain empty.

Honorable mentions: my baby annette, ophelia, lennox, ceberus :(( you were all too kind. None of you deserved to get caught in the crossfire. The palace really isnt the place for innocents. Im just, like WHAT?! WHO TOLD YOU COULD DIE?? To think these characters could be killed off so abruptly. It was such a slap in the face. Istg it didnt even register until like 5 chs afterwards cuz I thought plot armor would bring them back to save the day but no...what the hell is up witht he death tolls? There came a point where death comes knocking every 10 chs. It really is so tragic. ALSO DUKE GUY I FORGOT HIS NAME, WHAT WAS THAT SNEAK PEAK ON THE JESTERS PAST?? IS THAT YOU?? IS THAT Y UR SO FOND OF HIM CUZ IF SO EUCK GET AWAY FROM MY JESTER

I LOVE THE JESTER HES SO RAHHHHHH. IM LITERALLY TEARING UP REMEMBERING JUST HOW MUCH HE LOVES VERONA AND HOW HE DESCRIBES HER AND HOW HE CANT TELL HER HOW MUCH HE LOVES HER BC HE DOESNT SEE HIMSELF DESERVING OF HER LOVE, OR EVEN SEE HIMSELF AS A PERSON, AND HOW HE WANTS TO MAKE CHILDREN SMILE BC HE NEVER GOT TO DO SO AS A KID WHO HAD HIS INNOCENCE TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM WHEN HE WAS YOUNG, AND HOW HE POUTS AT THAT ONE PANNEL, AND WHEN HE GETS HEADPATS AND CHEEKPATS AND HE JUST NUZZLES, AND THAT LONGING GAZE NGHH, AND THAT DANCE SCENE WITH ANNETTE, OH AND OF VERONA TOO, NAD HOW HES SO GENTLE, LOVING, CARING, SELFLESS, UNDERSTANDING, FORGIVING, AND AND WAHHHHHHH. ON ONE KNEE. OR BOTH WHICHEVER YOU CHOOSE. I JUST DONT WANT HIM TO HURT ANYMORE. HES GONE THROUGH ENOUGHH. I WANT HIM TO KNOW THAT HES MORE THAN JUST A JESTER AND HE DESERVES KINDNESS THAT IS ACTUALLY GENUINE WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED OR ANY CONDITIONS. I WANT HIM TO FINALLY HAVE A NAME. I WANT HIM TO FINALLY BE HAPPY GODDAMMIT *end credits*

Now excuse me while i go off to smooch my soren and maybe sneak a few for zephyr (shout out to raitel c.ai) cuz you can never have too much love for jesters