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Hi people! Info time! welcome to the wild and wonderful world of Risk Aware Consensual Kink.
When two people agree(consent) to do something that they both know is dangerous and they are both adults and they both are getting something out of it, and they are all informed of the risks they are taking? That my friends, is when you move out of Safe, Sane and Consensual Kink(SSC) and into Risk Aware Consensual Kink(RACK). If you get hurt when you engage in RACK? WELP! That's unfortunate! You knew what you were doing when you got involved! But that isn't abuse! Abuse is when one person in a position of power harms someone in a position of less power without their consent! The CONSENT aspect of RACK is what prevents this from being abusive so long as all the parties involve keep agreeing to the play. Is it safe? Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't, but everyone knows what they're getting into! Is it sane? Ehhhh, depends. Is it consensual? YES! Does that mean that everyone is making good choices? LOL NO! People are out there making stupid sex decisions all the time! Welcome to adulthood get a helmet.
But the fact that everyone has INFORMED CONSENT keeps it from falling into the cycle of abuse. If you are CONFUSED about what makes a relationship abusive? I encourage you to check out the Power and Control Wheel of Abusive Relationships.
https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/
Stay safe out there!