omg guys I just re-read the whole thing including chapter 17 in the raws and I realised the first few pages of chapter 1 took place at the mum's funeral which is in chapter 17.
So, remember in chapter 1 at the starting, both of them are wearing funeral clothes and there is the caption "I, the one, who got hurt, fell in love with you. You smile ambiguously as you avert your gaze. Ignoring me. Terrified of me. You are the only one, who has hurt me." On first glance, this of course seems to be Hikaru thoughts of Haruki hating him. But it could also be Haruki inner feelings. Since Haruki also "hurt" Hikaru by indirectly causing his mother's death (chapter 17 explains it) and also throughout the whole manga for giving him false hope (probably according to Hikaru)
And, honestly after reading chapter 17, I feel like Haruki has some feelings for Hikaru, or else why would he reject senpai and why would he go out of the way to meet Hikaru again.. So chapter 1 could actually be Haruki confession that he fell in love with Hikaru even though he got hurt. Well, I think its both Hikaru and Haruki inner thoughts actually. Both of them lamenting how they fell in love with each other even though they got hurt in the process.
I don't think that's the case you misconstrued guilt for love and thats the issue with most interpretations... That quote from the beginning clearly came from HiKaru and Haruki is not only facing guilt about the mother, but also that he couldn't do anything to help Hikaru eventually... There was no scenario in which he could have any sort of healthy feelings towards Hikaru, but he knows that he's alone and he feels responsible for that... He also turn down senpai confusion for now, but the fact that its due to insecurity and they have mutual feelings for eachother, that's the mostly end game... I think this was a realistic depiction of rape and dealing with the aftermath, so it makes no local sense that after seeking help, and being separated for three years that he would hold romantic feelings for his abuser, or threaten suicide in the first place...
While everyone is here getting pissed about Nanase or trying to defend him, I am here feeling disappointed that Eno did not like Nanase. (〜￣△￣)〜
Wow how come it's so easy to install a surveillance camera in someone house? And Simon is so cute I really want him to end up happily with Connor but I feel that there won't be a good end TT Are there really such homophobic people out there? Are there still a lot of hate crimes in Western countries? It's so sad how society has progressed but people are still unable to move away from traditional norms
don't get this fictional story confused with reality
True, It is extremely emphasized in this story, but some people in the world, at least in my country, still act like this toward homosexuals today.
While this is fiction, reality can be pretty harsh too. I think a lot of us are lucky in Western countries, because I think a group like the WAF would get a lot more resistance and a lot more police officers going against them. But despite this bright side, a lot of Homophobic and racist people are still alive and well.
Might I remind you of what happened in Charlottesville?
That's why I said those kinds of people are alive and well :).
But even in that case, the amount of people who fought, stood up and criticized those nazi bastards were overwhelming. Even on political level (ignoring Trump, since Trump's all kinds of crazy). It's yet another prove that in Western countries people are very vocal against racism and homophobia. Opposed to other sides of the world, where speaking up against this kind of hatred would get you scorned and even thrown in a jail cell.
Spoiler alert summary for chapter 13
Basically, Souma pushes Hayato down and Hayato was like wait a minute but Souma continues and tells Hayato that he can escape if he want he would not blame him. Of course, Hayato doesn't and after that he hugs him and tells Souma that he likes him. In that process, Souma is thinking how easily Hayato is led on. (The black panels translate to "The "like" that Hayato feels for me is only because of the scar left behind by his past with noboru. If he had not met noboru or me, all these would not have happen".) After that, Souma tries to induce Hayato to escape by telling him to let him put it in. Much to Souma surprise, Hayato consented. Souma then says he is not going to do it and he just said it out of anger. Hayato says he does not mind if he really does it and that this type of stuff won't make him give up. Hayato asks Souma if he likes that guy (the Uni guy whose house he was going to go to) and Souma thinks to himself that he is only having sex with that guy in order to give up on Hayato. Souma then asks Hayato to leave first because he is not feeling well. Hayato obliged, albeit worriedly and reminds him to go to the Christmas Party
And so Hayato sends a bunch of messages asking Hayato if he is okay and telling him to go to the Christmas Party. And when they are at the party, Souma remembers that last year he spend Christmas alone because of the incident. And even his parents rejected him - his mom originally wanted to give him a cake but was stopped by his dad saying that they should ignore his presence. Souma recalls that when he first came to this school, he did not think/expect/hope he would make any friends since even his parents had kicked him out as if he was a virus. Only Hayato was willing to talk to him even though he was quite cold to him at first and even after what he did to Hayato (pushing him down). "If Hayato had not accepted me, I would not have been able to laugh carefreely now like this and I would not imagine having friends to laugh with".
At the end, Souma thinks to himself despite this, he can't help feeling insecure about their relationship so he is going to leave him. Last few pages (quoting Souma) --> "I know that this is the best choice, but I can't help it ---back hugs Hayato--- because I don't want anyone else but Hayato"
aww the ending is so cute --> Anyway, this chapter better explains Souma's insecurities. I kind of thought that Souma didn't want to be with Hayato partially because of what he did to Noboru. But no he is just feeling insecure as he does not think that Hayato feelings to him are real. In this chapter, it was mentioned that Souma feels that Hayato happens to like him because Hayato meets him right after the incident with Noboru and thus his guilt and friendship to Noboru is transferred to Souma and he misunderstand that his feelings for Souma is love.
Well actually this was mentioned in the previous chapters too, but Idk this chapter made it more explicit? Well, I hope Souma gets over it and stop being so cold to my poor Hayato. Hayato deserves some kudos for his perseverance. XD
thanks for the brief summarry mygod been waiting for this. (=・ω・=)
Thank you for this! But the last part, is souma gonna leave hayato?? What? Why?
thanks very much.ヾ(☆▽☆)
which college dude w h a t? I thought he was inexperienced mind translating 12?
I did a summary for chapter 11 and 12 too they are somewhere below in the comments. The college dude is some random guy that appear in chapter 12. Actually I am not sure if they had sex yet/before. If I remembered correctly, the line actually translate to "I (Souma) did it in order to forget you" --> not specified what the 'it' is, I guess the 'it' could be him going out with the college guy but I highly suspect it is referring to sex since he doesn't seem to be going out with the college friend and it seems like they are having a physical relationship from the pics in the previous chapter
Well, he back-hugged Hayato, so I hope not >.<
what???!! the fuck? omggg why
I was just wondering, Souma seems to be the top in their relationship but I highly doubt he would top the big ass uni guy and he looked quiet submissive around him lolol so it felt weird if he bottoms for the uni guy but changes into a full top towards Hayato
Anyways, I really hopd they didn't have sex like it wasn't specifically stated (I'm not good at reading traditional chinese but as far as I've seen there's not much mentioning/indication that he had sex with the other guy) I hope he just meant by meeting up with him or something ahhh （/TДT)/
Thank you for your summaries, could 6ou please do ch 14. I want to know what they're saying
Summaries for chapter 11 and 12 (spoilers)
In chapter 11, Hayato finally properly apologises to Noboru and I think Noboru kinda forgive him although he didn't explicitly say it and instead says he wants him to remember him for life (in the panel with their face close together I thought they were going to kiss). Hayato also admits to Noboru that he likes Souma and Noboru kind of gave him a push in confessing to Souma. After that Hayato went to find Souma but couldn't find him; Souma is spotted by Hayato friends with an older university student. Chapter 12: Hayato confesses to Souma but Souma rejects him. Hayato asks if it is because of the university student. Souma says it is because he wants someone who can wholly accept him and he can't accept him after hearing Noboru story. And Hayato smiles and says that he won't give up since he is not taken yet. At the end of the chapter, Souma flashes back to Uni student who is gay also and he got a call from the uni student to go to his house prob to have sex. And Hayato happen to overhear the conversation (outside Souma house). He hugs Souma and ask him not to go. They kissed.
O originally support hayato and souma but sorry after reading these two chapters, I m more for Noboru and Hayato. I get that Souma feels insecure and all but what I can't believe he went and meet a sex friend or a friend that obv wants to have sex with him. And I feel like Noboru still likes Hayato even though he didn't say it. I mean he told him to remember him for life and the way he patted him aft that just seems so sorrowful to me like he is letting go of him TT
Noboru deserves a happy ending.
Im lowkey shipping Hayato and Noboru too TT I'm not that fond of Souma tbh
Oh! Thank you for the brief summary! I really want to know what exactly is goin' on.
Yeah I agree with you. At first, I want Souma X Hayato but as the story goes by, kinda symphatize Noboru. So I also want Noboru X Hayato. LOL! (￣∇￣") Anyway, not sure how the story turns out especially the tag is tragedy. I googled what is behind the title 'BLUE' and it means depressed or sad. So yeah kinda worried how will the story turns out.
As long as nobody dies I will be pleased....
dammit, it's obvious that this is all about Souma and Hayato, but my heart iz telling me to go to Noboru and Hayato it hurts :')
Pls explain what happened ch. 13 rwa http://www.manhuaren.com/m499231/. T.y.
Spoiler alert summary for chapter 13
Basically, Souma pushes Hayato down and Hayato was like wait a minute but Souma continues and tells Hayato that he can escape if he want he would not blame him. Of course, Hayato doesn't and after that he hugs him and tells Souma that he likes him. In that process, Souma is thinking how easily Hayato is led on. (The black panels translate to "The "like" that Hayato feels for me is only because of the scar left behind by his past with noboru. If he had not met noboru or me, all these would not have happen".) After that, Souma tries to induce Hayato to escape by telling him to let him put it in. Much to Souma surprise, Hayato consented. Souma then says he is not going to do it and he just said it out of anger. Hayato says he does not mind if he really does it and that this type of stuff won't make him give up. Hayato asks Souma if he likes that guy (the Uni guy whose house he was going to go to) and Souma thinks to himself that he is only having sex with that guy in order to give up on Hayato.
And so Hayato sends a bunch of messages asking Hayato if he is okay and telling him to go to the Christmas Party. And when they are at the party, Souma remembers that last year he spend Christmas alone because of the incident. And even his parents rejected him - his mom originally wanted to give him a cake but was stopped by his dad saying that they should ignore his presence. Souma recalls that when he first came to this school, he did not think/expect/hope he would make any friends since even his parents had kicked him out as if he was a virus. Only Hayato was willing to talk to him even though he was quite cold to him at first and even after what he did to Hayato (pushing him down). "If Hayato had not accepted me, I would not have been able to laugh carefreely now like this and I would not imagine having friends to laugh with".
At the end, Hayato thinks to himself despite this, he can't help feeling insecure about their relationship so he is going to leave him. He knows that this is the best choice, but he can't help it ---thinking that he back hug Hayato. And the last line --"but if it is not Hayato, I don't want it"
I missed out after the first paragraph souma says he feels sick and asks hayato to leave first to which he oblige albeit worriedly
And sorry for the last paragraph there is a typo it should be Souma not Hayato who thinks to himself....
Oh no I hope its not going to have a tragic end ( T﹏T )
I don't care which ship happen now since I like both ships (I just like Noboru one a bit more XP) I just want Hayato to be happy he is so precious. Hope the mangaka doesn't give us a tragic end
Ikr the ship that will never happen. I wish that there was an alternate pathway where Hayato did not expose Noboru and they ended up together </3
but Hayato x Souma is pretty cute too I guess :>>
Hi so anyone who wants to be spoiled, here goes!!!
so umm the orange-hair guy (sunbae) and Hee Bum got back together and after some many chapters, Jumi kind of said something to Hee Bum (when she thought he was sleeping but he was not) that made it very obvious that she likes him. So, Hee Bum after realizing Jumi's feelings for her, I don't know why but he said some pretty mean things to her saying that she can back off now already since he and sunbae are already together and all that. And when she said she didn't like sunbae, he said he knows (implying that he knows that she likes him). HE WAS SO MEANNN. Anyway, after that Hee Bum continued treating Jumi normally. And yeah in the latest chapter, Jumi finally got sick of all this shit when Hee Bum waited for her outside their house to again complain about sunbae. Yeah she finaly told Hee Bum off and said its better if they don't talk anymore and not be friends since all he will ever care about is sunbae. And then Hee Bum suddenly hug her from the back (omg that was so cutee >////<) and ask her not to leave and said that if she were to leave him, he would continue pestering her (as she already know how persistent he can be). THAT WAS SO CUTEEE yeah I ship Jumi x Hee Bum so much even though Hee Bum is such an asshole. I think he's feeling confused about who he likes - he probably likes Jumi but is denying it internally? Although to be honest he is being really selfish since he is clearly aware of Jumi feelings but he ignores them because he wants to continue going out with sunbae but yet cannot stand Jumi not talking to him. Anyway I am really hoping that sunbae and Hee Bum will break up. And the latest latest chapter, apparently some bitch went to tell Hee Bum's father about him and sunbae relationship, so there will probably be more drama coming up....
Anyway the above that I mentioned is quite long later like its probably still around 15-20 chapters from here
oh ya for those wondering whether sunbae likes hee bum, it is pretty obvious he does though its not revealed why he acts so nonchalant and indifferent to Hee Bum's feelings.
I started reading it but then i stopped, I am sure things will be oh so interesting in the future *-*
damn!! Jumi should just punch him.
In case nobody likes to be spoiled and my answer is spoiling something, I'm going to space it.
(〜￣△￣)〜
(〜￣△￣)〜
(〜￣△￣)〜
(〜￣△￣)〜
(〜￣△￣)〜
(〜￣△￣)〜
Well, there is 2 possibilities about why Hee bum does that.
1. We all know that hee bum is the type to pulling the pigtails of someone he likes. So, no surprise there.
2. He didn't like Jumi that way, since he knows how it is to have an unrequited love, so he deals with it in the way he knows. Still though, Hee bum, I love you. But what you've done to Jumi is a big no-no. Repent, now!
You know, until I read your post, I thought that Yoo woon likes Jumi. I mean, the "just who exactly that being taken away by whom?" When the girl is telling him that Hee bum might be taken away by Jumi. So, doesn't that mean that it's the other way around? Or maybe I lost something there. Yoo woon also decide to be on a good terms with Hee bum so suddenly. That's suspicious, I mean it almost as if he doesn't want Jumi to get all cozy with Hee bum. Like he is jealous with Hee bum because he's the one that found Jumi, the one that get close with her at first. And the third, people smoke when they're stressed out, right? Yoo woon said that he stop smoking. And when he first met Jumi, he gave her his cigarette. So, he's still smoking that time. Then he says he stop smoking. But when he decide to get along better with Hee bum, he starts to smoke again. Then, does that mean that get along with Hee bum is stressing him out that he needs to smoke again? So yeah, somehow, I can't believe his feeling for Hee bum. Gaah, I really can't understand Yoo woon. ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ
Yesss, I agree Yoon Woon is so hard to understand!!(๑•ㅂ•)و✧ He is the type of character that always maintains a a cheerful/happy/carefree facade and you never know what he is thinking. >.> Idk but I still think he likes Hee Bum. The way he treats Jumi actually seems pretty fake like he is pretending to be nice to Jumi, at least thats what I get from their interaction. I mean it never occured to me that Yoo Woon likes Jumi I always assumed he is jealous of Jumi x Hee Bum relationship because he still likes Hee Bum. But who knows (づ￣ ³￣)づ
anyone has any chinese raws link?? I see many Korean raw links but I can't understand Korean and I just can't wait to read this cuteness-overflowing manga T^T
Summary for chapter 17: Spoiler Alert
At the hospital (continuing off from end of chapter 16), Haruki seemed to be about to confess to senpai but senpai cut him off saying its not like this; he wants to stay at Haruki's side but not in a romantic way. And he promised that this time he wouldn't give up on or doubt Haruki. Some time later, Haruki is now seeing a psychiatrist and he has gone back to work in his original company. Haruki is now living with his father and Senpai is also a good friend of the family (Haruki and his father), often visitng them. After a visit to their house for dinner, Senpai confesses that he still has feelings for Haruki and the reason he did not say so initially at the hospital was because he did not want Haruki to accept him when he was in such a fragile state of mind. He wanted to properly confess to Haruki after Haruki has recovered from the incident and his mind was in a stable state. (reason why I love senpai he is so sweet). Haruki replied that someone like him doesn't deserve Senpai. And Senpai said its okay, he will wait for him. In the taxi, senpai feels sad and regrets not confessing earlier.
The next day was the mom's third year death anniversary. Haruki suggested to his dad to tell hikaru to come this time. At the funeral, it seemed like Hikaru would not come, but as the cermony was ending Hikaru entered. After the ceremony, Hikaru was going to leave but Haruki pulled his hand telling him he have something he wants to tell him. Haruki then confesses that it was actually his fault that the mom died because after feeding Hikaru the sleeping pill, he remembered what the mom say about truly wanting to help him so he called the mom and confessed everything about their relationship and the mum told them to stay there and she will come and save them. (so the mum is actually a nice person). This explains why the mum was out in the snow she was actually going to their place. Haruki then says after that he kind of regret calling her and felt that if he disappears everything will be solved and thats why he overdosed on the sleeping pills. And so after he woke up, he realised what happened and so he pushed the blame of the mom death to Hikaru, even though it was supposed to be borne by him. Hikaru cries and Haruki reaches out to wipe Hikaru tears. Then it is all flashback - Hikaru recalls for the past three years how he have been walking through the forest towards the light (hikari). And then flashback to the wedding between the mom and dad - how Hikaru felt lonely that his mum was getting married and how Haruki reached out to him at that time and how they met at the wedding. So it just ended like that - the last page with Hikaru and Haruki shaking hand at their first meeting with the corny caption - Surely, you are the one that will show me the light (hikaru) - sorry my translation of this line sucks, but its something with a pun using his name lol
Honestly, I think the last chapter was the mangaka attempt to redeem Hikaru's character and yes it did work. Seeing the flashback and Hikaru's sorry state - how he lost both his mother and Haruki (probably the only 2 ppl he ever loved), I did feel pity for Hikaru. BUT hey remember all the shit thing that Hikaru did and it is pretty ironic that Hikaru is in such a sorry state after losing his mother when he was the one that threaten Haruki with exposing their relationship to their parents and breaking up the family. Anyway this ending is pretty open I guess, you could say Haruki just feels a brotherly concern for Hikaru and it is up to the reader to interpret who he ends up with or mayb he ends up with no one lol. Though, from my interpretation of the chapter, I feel that Haruki still has lingering feelings for Hikaru - he probably developed some sort of love to Hikaru when they were in that warped up relationship together.
Many thanks for the detailed summary!!!
Could you please make a summary of the extra chapter's spoilers as well? >> https://www.weibo.com/1733423382/FtdJc8PBk?filter=hot&root_comment_id=0&type=comment#_rnd1514238212496
It seems the extra chapter was launched some time ago (like 2-3 months ago), but the only place I was able to find it is weibo. And the full raw got lost somehow, it doesn't show up in my search results anymore :(
Prior to the incident at the family villa, hanabusa and hikaru actually met at a cafe before. Hikaru asks Hanabusa if he is Hanabusa and asks if he heard their conversation that night at Christmas . He asks hanabusa how much did he blamed Haruki such that Haruki is now in such a broken state. That was probably when hanabusa realised that it was Hikaru who had been coercing Haruki. Anyway this was Hamabusa flashback and now to the present. Hanabusa sees Hikaru and Haruki at a cafe. He is shocked and goes in and asks if his Father knows that he is still keeping in contact with Hikaru. Haruki replies that he meets up with Hikaru sometimes to discuss about his future and guide him and this does not concern his father. The last sentence from Hanabusa I am quite confused. Hanabusa asks Hikaru what's his name now. Haruki replies his name now is only Hikaru and thats as much as he can do to forgive him. The person that writes the post says there will still be some extras so maybe this will clarify some stuff.
Anyway most of the comments in the posts seems to be agreeing that Sendai has no hope anymore TT and Haruki probably still have some feelings for Hikaru but is unable to admit them because of what Hikaru did. I don't know what to think anymore lol
Wow, thank you so much for your super quick reply, you're a sweetheart!
Yeah, the question about the name is weird. Maybe Hanabusa wanted to know if Hikaru still uses the surname of Haruki's father?!? That's the only logical reason I can think of for that question. Haruki's answer is the one that confuses me the most, I don't understand what he means with "...that's as much as he can do to forgive him".
I also hope the new extra will be more clarifying... probably in the direction pointed out by you - Haruki ending up with Hikaru. If you look at Kashio's Twitter page, it's pretty obvious she made up her mind long time ago, her tweets are full of sketches of Haruki & Hikaru!
https://www.177mh.com/201801/377636.html extra 4
extra 4 https://www.177mh.com/201801/377636.html
Finally!! Many thanks for the link!!
tysm!!
Thank you sooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!! ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ
Guys, I think Kashio released a new extra chapter last month >> https://twitter.com/kthy_o/status/946729173250228224
Can anybody please tell what it's about?
oooh thanks for the link. This is the full version of the japanese one that was posted online that I kind of summarised above. This makes things much clearer. (also because my chinese is much better than my japanese) I will just post my previous summary with some edits: (most of the changes are in the last few lines)
Prior to the incident at the family villa, hanabusa and hikaru actually met at a cafe before. Hanabusa asks Hikaru where Haruki was and Hikaru replies that he does not know. It then occurred to Hanabusa that since Hikaru does not know, the person that Haruki was running away from might have been Hikaru. Hanabusa gives Hikaru his namecard and tells him to contact him if he know about Haruki's whereabouts. Hikaru looks at the namecard and asks how Hanabusa name is pronounced. After hearing Hanabusa name, Hikaru realises that Haruki's ex-lover was actually Hanabusa. Hikaru then asks Hanabusa if he heard their conversation that night at Christmas . He asks hanabusa how much did he blamed Haruki such that Haruki is now in such a broken state. That was probably when hanabusa realised that it was Hikaru who had been coercing Haruki. Anyway this was Hamabusa flashback and now to the present. Hanabusa sees Hikaru and Haruki at a cafe. He is shocked and goes in and asks if his Father knows that he is still keeping in contact with Hikaru. Haruki replies that he meets up with Hikaru sometimes to discuss about his future and guide him and this does not concern his father. Hanabusa asks what Hikaru current name is and Hikaru says he is now using his mother's surname. Hanabusa then says that now Hikaru has no relations whatsoever to Haruki (since his surname has also changed) and hence ask him to stop meddling with Haruki's affairs. Hikaru says (to Haruki) he is right and leaves. (he looks kind of lifeless). After Hikaru leaves, Haruki tells Hanabusa that he is the one who first contacted Hikaru because Hikaru has not changed (not sure what he means) and only Hikaru can forgive him. Hanabusa then thinks to himself: both Hikaru and Haruki are both somewhat like accomplices and there is something that unites them that is beyond a normal person's comprehension.
rip Hanabusa x Haruki ship
Its just a sample page/preview of the special. I can't really make out whats going on with the story from the few panels. (most of the dialogues are just some sex talk, etc) Probably need to wait until a full version is posted.