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Nips (2) 2022-08-03 0
Smut(5) 2023-02-06 0

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Salem Saberhagen December 8, 2024 6:58 pm

The concept was good
The execution however was lacking.

You have a buff smokeshow and a petite woman- that's the kind of pairing that could drive people mad, in a GOOD WAY

It would have been better if they could have more meaningful conversations. Maybe start off with him being hard on her in the gym, and pushing her to work out some body parts more. With him sounding stern, and her taking it to heart. Then with better communication get to know each other. Maybe also have him talk about some insecurities he might have with his own looks or otherwise.

The sex scene was also a missed opportunity. Have them both be eager but also shy and timid. Her being worried to undress in front of him, lest she turns him off. And him reassuring her that is not the case. That he is more than willing.
More attention to foreplay, especially with her breasts- longer and more detailed nipple play. Get her off with her nips only. This is important since the ex pointed out her flat chest was a turn off.
And THEN get to penetrative sex and her worrying about being so small and tight, and that being even more exhilarating because of the size difference.
Later chapters can have more dynamic sex scenes.

Anyway, a huge missed opportunity with this one-shot

Salem Saberhagen December 8, 2024 6:29 pm

WHY do they "love" each other?
They slept together a few times
And I guess the sex was top tier but what exactly do they know about each other?

I am confused

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Salem Saberhagen January 24, 2018 11:40 am

Hey, can some one please tell me, did mangago remove Make Me Bark from the site
And any alternate places i could read it

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Oop… Smutty levels up! 12-08 22:37
Cunnilingus 12-08 20:52
nsfw 11-27 04:54
🔞🔥 ~ Smut ~ hardcore~ 11-26 16:35
YAOI SMUT vol.5 11-26 14:41

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