Okay so how do I start? Well, I am 21 years old, bisexual, a woman, virgin and... insecure as fuck. 95% of my friends (or maybe 98 or 99%) already had sex. They are always talking about how being an adult means you always end up having sex with your crushes and it makes me feel even worse and more afraid. Most of them have no idea I'm still a virgin so sometimes I have to pretend I know exactly what they are talking about, which is kinda exhausting and makes me fear they will figure out eventually. To worsen things, right now I am developing feelings for a friend (we already kissed and sometimes it makes me feel like I have a chance) and I am hella worried about being a virgin. I mean, what if eventually he wants to have sex – he certainly will. I mean, he already had sex with one of our friends (lol this is becoming even more complicated, sorry) and he talks like he enjoys sex, so. Besides, what if he wants to have sex and I run away out of fear? I mean, it’s gonna hurt, right? What if I start bleeding on the sheets? Lmao. I am laughing like crazy because I am so nervous… I don’t know what to do T_T
Am I the only one who feels lonely 24/7 because of the failed love life? Everybody arounds me is dating or just enjoying being alone (sometimes because they can choose between being with someone or just by themselves) and I feel like I'll always be myself. As time passes by, it's becoming harder and harder to pretend I'm okay being the loner.
