Aleisse

I've been with mutiple guys for over a year alrdy (Started casual intimate relations since start of November last year since I don't really get attached all the way because of the clear boundary of just fwb. I just want to satisfy my high libido that I've been keeping onto myself for so long before.) but I didn't simultaneously have s*x with them like left and right. It's just if I'm totally over with a certain fwb of mine, I'll be with another new one after some weeks. Some of them were one night stands, some went only for about a week or so and some went on for months. At first 6 or 8 months I've been doing it 4 times a week at most, like every other day. But there's this one guy, named K, that I've been fwb with since April till this November, the longest fwb I've had so far (tho we stopped at mid of June till October ig because he and his ex went back together but then they broke up on first week of Oct again.) Note that guy is my classmate on the whole second semester on first few months this year and also on this current semester, 3rd year 1st sem. We've been seeing in private like I go every other day on their house when we were fwb back on 2nd year 2nd semester, but no one at school knows our connection as fwb. Even my friends or his. We don't even interact that much at school. Only minimal like what classmates or acquaintances would do. But here's the tea, like back on September, it was 4 or 5 am in the morning, this K person was asking me to come on their house to have a drink with him. Like he insisted and called me nonstop, begged me to go once. Btw, after we stopped few months back and around mid June. We became just friends/ acquintances. We do not often communicate with each other and nothing really malicious or something going on after we stopped cause ik my limits and tho I'm like this, I strongly don't want to be a third party. I honestly don't want to go but he said he already is waiting for me outside my house and I ran immediately outside to avoid the nosy neighbors nearby (btw he knows my address cause he used to drive me home, back and forth like literally in front our house. Anw, p.s. that's one of the reasons of why I stayed for a couple of months with him before cause he is really convinient. I don't have to pay for anything like condoms stuffs and he even bought me pills every month and gives me what I crave or want when I'm at theirs.) After coming out, I really thought it was him waiting outside but I was so shocked cause it was our classmate (one of his friends) instead, not him. I've never even talked with that person before and mind you K and I supposed to be not close in public or what other than being acquaintances or classmates only. I thought maybe it was a coincidence that his friend (S) cause there's no way that person was there for me cause wr haven't even talked and not that close to know each other's address but then he waved at me and even calls my name. Omg I am hiding my adventures of having fwb for so long to my nosy neighbors cause for them I'm a really thru-and-thru single person who haven't dated anyone since birth cause my mom is super strict istg. I immediately got on S's motorcycle and off we go to K's house. I did it out of panic just to get away from those nosy ones cause they'll thought that S's my bf or something for sure and they'll tell my mom. (mind you I am already 21 years old, 3rd year college student haha) Anyway, on the way to K's house, S filled me with details telling me that K cannot drive anymore cause he's drunk, they did drank some already beforehand with their other friends. He said that K asked S to come pick me up, after their other friends went back home. K gave S my address. And ugh S asked how did K and I become so close cause we both don't even talk at school and yet K knows my address and he is finding me nonstop before S leave K's house. We went back my home after we saw K be on their front door's floor knocked out because of alcohol. We immediately went back my home and never talked again afterwards. K
The next day, K messaged me to tell me that he thinks S is suspecting us being fwb. Cause back on last semester around may, they also did have alcohol drinks and K's mouth slipped telling his 2 friends (S wasn't our classmate on that semester, only his other friend, but he was with K when this happened ) that he 's on fwb with a girl on his class. He sobered up and panicked after telling that and lied that the girl he was talking about is in higher year. Also around those times, K is subtly acting close with me on classes. Even in one night class, on our break time cause it is 6 hours class, K walked up to me and talked with me. Out of habit I did reponse kinda comfortable with him. Tho it is really nothing much he just went on me to joke around, S who did sit in on that particular class, noticed our interaction and asked K if I am the one K is taking about being Fwb with. K shrugged it off insistently telling a lie that there's no way cause the one he is talking about is a 3rd year and we were still on our 2nd year at that time. Back to the September after a day S dropped me off, K told me that S messaged him, telling that he was so sure that K and I are fwb before. Mind you that I'm a good student at school like a model student who seems can't do things like fwb (based on what others said like just the complete opposite of what I'm soing for satisfaction. I'm also pretty popular at school but known as someone who coldly rejects anyone mostly and seen as unappoachble with things like romance. So K told me S was so shocked cause of how bizarre K and I's combination and connection. K told me he didn't verified S's assumption but he said S was so certain already. After that incident I noticed that S was often looking my way. We'll be locking eyes everytime. Idk if I just assumed it or what . Anyway after a week, S did sent a friend request on my account. I did accept it anyway. Fast forward to November. Btw, remind u again that K and I got back as fwb together at this month again cause we be both been single for almost month already. I hadn't had s*x since august cause I've been busy and the other guy I've been with after K back on July, wasn't compatible with me on bed so I stopped having intimate relations for a while and decided to seriously date someone but got hurt, used, gaslighted and been cheated on at the end. It lasted around first week of October also. I've been so frustrated thus I agreed to be back with fwb again with K. I won't be hurt cause I don't expect anything from him besides u know and since also our connection is nothing that deep emotionally and I got to satisfy my desires once again. We've been at it for that month and by the end of November, K asked me to have a drink with him along with S. I agreed cause why not, I've been feeing kinda depressed and stressed lately so I agreed to take off some steam. We played cards called uno while drinking, having the loser do truth or dare. I suck on this game so I end up having the consequences. There's this one dare from K, where in I should hug S for a minute. I did it anyway. The hug was actually comforting but I could feel him sniffing me cause his head was on my left shouder, and me being kinda drunk I sat on the top of him while he is sitting (cause it was my 2nd drinking session I went that day. Like I already have been drinking with friend that day before I went to K's to have a drink again) and we've been hugging tightly but comfy. After that hug, K went downstairs to pee. So S and I were alone at k's room, he then told me that he likes my scent and asked me what perfume do I use cause he's been aware and is smelling it on class whenever he walks past me or something. Told him my perfume name etc. After K went back to the room S is being touchy with me tho only caressing my hair and he just looks at me straight on the eyes. after sometime I got drunk so much that K and I did have s*x right after S went outside to go home. We didn't expect S would come back on the room cause he forgot his keys. So me being so drunk, my instincts kicks in and therefore we had threesome for a about an hour and only S and I been bangin for few more hours after. I anticipated this and went there knowing there's a chance of this happening but didn't highly expect it tbh. Tho Ik they were both single and also me being single so I works out. I did consent them both cause they asked a ton for my permission at that moment. Tho Ik I'm drunk, but I'm really fine with it even sober cause I'm curious with the threesome that I read here sometimes and I already told that to K before. S and I turned out to be compatible on bed also like really in a way he is rough and dominant and me being submissive as heck so it worked out. Tho for me it is really awkward on our classes togehter cause I remember what S said to me of him liking my scent so I've been more aware of him . Anyway after a week from that day, it seems K and his ex r getting back together again cause I saw his profie pic on ig with him and a girl on his back. I confronted him about it and he said that he's thinking of getting back again with her. So obviously we'd stop again. Therfore, I was thinking now if I should talk with S and be fwb with him cause I'm not really up for a serious relationship atm, kinda scared tbh, so yea. But once I jumped onto S, K and I would really be over and I suppose he won't get back with me in the future. Honestly, I just want the sure convinience and the after-care with him plus his big ding-dong cause his is really way bigger than the usual I've had, and it's kinda addicting and good for me idk. Tho he is not rough like S lol. Anyway idk now what to do or should I just do abstinence again? Idk. Tho I was thinking if I can really handle my high libido but on the second thought it's so hard as hell, even toys aren't enough. So, what do u think? Idk anymore

Anyway, that's my story hehe just wanna share out of whim.

Can someone recommend any manga/ manhwa where one is assuring the other (who has trust issues and is a too lover boy/girl but is used or betrayed before) and give them the love they deserve over the time?