chottomattey's Things

I want a boyfriend but I don't have a crush on anybody(I think). I want a boyfriend but I literally don't make any efforts (nor do I wanna) into finding one. I want a boyfriend but I'm too insecure and intimidated with boys thay the thought of me liking them would be hilarious and a disrespect for them. I want a boyfriend but my standards are close to impossible- I just want someone to love me unconditionally:(.

I want to stop wanting to have a boyfriend but I'm always daydreaming and imagining a relationship with someone I've made up. I have like four five idk boyfriends in my brain that I keep on daydreaming every night and day.

Mine:
I woke up in the middle of the night to pee then drink some water and I saw my dad watching some yk on our TV....we'll he was more like already asleep(thank goodness) but still quite traumatizing. I'm pretty sure he knew I saw him lol cause when I was going back to my room he was already gone. Damn this is gonna be awkward tomorrow, I'm just so going to ignore all of this and pretend nothing happened or I saw anything. Idk it was just so shocking cause like he's kinda religious. But who am I to judge I read and watch lots of bs too but still, very shocking and very traumatizing. It's like catching your parents doing the act which I thank goodness haven't experienced before

Just a little rant guys cause I gotta let this out somehow