Rest in Peace, sensei,you fought hard and proudly.
My father have been in the same condition as you, and he had to go intreatment in 2016-2017. He had colon cancer too, and he was in stage 3B coming stage 4. Thanks God, he survive that and go on strong since then. unlike you, my father didn't do the chermo, cause it hurt him a lot. He stopped using it after 2 times. And he only focus on living, eating healthy and exercise.
And now, it my turn, I have been suspected of the same possibilty. and still waitting for my result. Like you, I have terrible periode cramps. I fainted twice on the road while driving cause the pain came so sudden. and 1 times I fainted and hit my head on the wall and scratche out a 7 cm open wound on my face, i have to go on emergency and, here we are, still waitting for my result, the fact that we have to wait for 2 weeks seem like another pain. and in my chaos, I found this. I cry while reading your journey, but it does help me relieve a lot of my anxiety.
Thanks you from the bottom of my heart sensei, I hope i have the same mindset as you to go to the hosp next time. Rest in peace sensei, I wish you all the best in your next journey.
Emperor: So you want me to d1e
Reader: Yes, please, as quick as possible