not to be mean, but this isnt as good as i was expecting... the first few chapters feel so fake, it makes no sense. like 'fine ill sleep with u for no reason?', 'yes ill leave my contact info but we better not meet again?'. 'im leaving in 2 days but ill wait for u to wake up so i can clear up nothing?'. there too much that was added "for the plot" and its just not it. it had a lot of potential tho...
yeah no. now shes just playing hot and cold, get ur feelings under control before u try to sort out the 'situation'. also adding the kids was just no, u can't make me sit here, watch her son be deprived and her daughter, a spoiled brat, summing that up as showing love to one child cause u couldnt do that with the first. its not that u couldnt, u just chose not too. and if u can treat ur son like that then surely u can push away wilhem too, cause like what the fuck???
theres seriously only one mystery. when they do it, why dont they feel what the other person is feeling?? like u feel the punches but not something ramming into u??
Fr tho
That’s what breaks the immersion for me. You can’t write out this important part of the story just to select what goes and what doesn’t . They literally feel each other’s pain and or bruises, so they MUST be sharing the same sort of pleasure too??? It doesn’t make sense to not write that out; it’s a perfect added layer to their intercourse. It’s such a waste, honestly.