Is it wrong to want my personal space and wanting to do things I like rather than talking to my fiancé?
Does not like when I just even talk to some man or about any
I dod not wanted to reveal my past but he forced me to and now he overthinks and brings it up every now and then
I do communicate less as I feel it’s annoying to explain
But if I do I feel like he will overthink
He wants me to be honest but can’t stand it if I do
But he loves me so much always wanting me which kinda annoys me
He always keeps me the priority which becomes problem for both of us later on
But he doesn’t want me to go out and meet people even my female friends as he says that they might influence me wrong
Always acting like a strict father saying I should learn things that are important rather than watching movies or series
Made me quit my job saying that it is tiring for me that I just come home and sleep and not talk to him much
He seems rather strict and controlling. Because him not letting you meet your female friends and forcing you to quit your job against your will is a bit uhm??? Have you tried talking to him about how you feel? Because in the end in a marriage or relationship its always two people which means both thoughts and wishes should be considered.
Him just doing whatever he wants with you and restricting you is reallly alarming!!
(This is what I would do if I where in your shoes) If you love him and he’s the guy that you want to spend your life with, start by telling him straight up you need space, be very very blunt with it so he can understand and there will be no room for negotiation. Take some time away, as long or as short as you need and sort out your thoughts with him. You can take a vacation or even go to a hotel near by. Talk to your friends about this and ask for their opinion too if you’ve already haven’t, the more opinions the better. When you’ve sorted out your thought talk to him about how if you want to be with him, he’s gonna have to accommodate to what you want too, as a relationship needs two people to work, not one. Honesty is very important in all relationships and he’s just gonna be more anxious and controlling if you’re not willing to talk to him about how you feel. Make sure to be as clear as possible to make sure that he doesn’t overthink what you tell him. And if you do love him, make sure to tell him that. Also, only if you think you don’t wanna be with him anymore, I’d break up. A relationship is no good for both of you if you don’t love him and don’t wanna be in it anymore. I mean, do what you think is best. A person that controlling isn’t really fun to be with
He sounds super possessive maybe try talk to him about it since you guys are in a pretty committed relationship if your at the point of marriage if not maybe try go on a trip with your friends and try put some distance between you while you collect your thoughts and id recommend maybe talking to someone close to you about this and see if they’ve seen anything in his behaviour and seriously consider if you really want to marry this guy if he can’t respect your boundaries (obviously this is in the extreme case)
This is abuse.
Isolation from friends and family and ESPECIALLY FINANCE is a big red flag. This typical abuser behaviour. I’ve seen this first hand, multiple times. Once you’re completely in their grasp, they can do whatever they want, and if someone is putting in this effort to isolate you from your friends and financial freedom, high chances are they’re gonna do what they want, and what people like that want is never good. Start reaching out to IRL friends and family if you can, try to advocate for your financial freedom and get some time away if you can. I don’t know much about your situation specifically but you seem unhappy. It’s only going to get worse if you can’t find a way out. If you still want to go ahead with the marriage, do it on YOUR terms, get a prenup, separate finances, find a stream of income for yourself so you can always run if you need to, and NEVER give him your passport, if you have one.. Get out if you can. If you can’t, slowly carve a way out. Make friends who aren’t connected to him, reconnect with old friends. Tell them about your situation if you think you can trust them.
Here are different resources in case:
https://nnedv.org/content/about-financial-abuse/#:~:text=Financial%20abuse%20is%20a%20common,accessibility%20to%20the%20family%20finances.
https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse
I don’t know where you are from, so there are some international helplines for various countries:
https://safeandtogetherinstitute.com/international-domestic-violence-resources/
https://wave-network.org/list-of-helplines-in-46-countries/
Abuse isn’t neseccarily physical or verbal. It can be isolation. It can be financial.
I hope this isn’t overreaching but I just need to tell you that there are ways out, and there will always be people who want to help you.
But everytime I talk about things like this somehow he became right always like it seems my fault(not that I admit) plus it's arranged so I can't really do anything, he says he would do anything and everything to make me happy but at times his male ego gets ahold of himself and he denies that its not his male ego
When I say that I want to talk to them and all he says are they more important than us? I become speechless. Everytime he does something like this he says its for us and our future, want me to be polite and loving as a typical wife and sit home and wait for him but his parents are opposite they are strict about job and study I wanted to go to University for my master's but he made me get an online degree, when I said I wanted to attend physical class and enjoy a little then he again brought up the topic of who do you want to enjoy with and stuff
Thank you but as for finance he says that he doesn't want me to struggle, but I guess I just have too much pride in everything and I myself understand that I am immature and have anger issues I tried many time to break off but he just doesn't give up I struggle which at the end make me look guilty I just don't like to give in easily
Omg I really don’t want to be rude at all, but I personally think you need to break up with him right now. From what I see, he’s trying to completely control your life and everything you’re doing. He’s taking away your chances at being successful and living a fulfilling life to how you want. That man is not good for you, don’t listen to what he says and be stern about what you want. He seems like a guy who only thinks of women as something that stay home and wait for men to do everything for them. That guy is toxic and you need to get away or I’m sure you will regret it :(
But looking at my physical condition I do have hard time managing things many times he is right but his ways are wrong iykyk like it hurts my pride and I am always in anxiety and stress because of him I guess I put much less efforts that's why but he , like, emotionally forced me? To draw out affection rather than letting it out naturally which made me loose interest at first as I struggled showing affection if you get it I was in a situation that I can't back off. As the time passed by I eventually came too far to back off
I understand as I also have a hard time managing things, but if his way of fixing it is taking everything away from you so you have don’t have anything period, then yeah it’s wrong of him. Of course it’s gonna hurt your pride because his way of “helping” you is basically making you feel like you can’t do anything on your own, and if he’s causing you stress and anxiety you should just get away from for a while, stress and anxiety build up will cause depression and make you more emotional over time. Honestly I can’t really tell if he’s in love with you and cares about you or if it’s more of an obsession, like your a possession of his that he needs to take care of in a way only he thinks is good. It’s also never too late to back off, never think that way. Sometimes quitting is better than trying to fix a relationship, you don’t wanna try to go through years and years of struggle just for it to get you no where.
I thought first time or sex wasn’t much of a big deal until mine came, It hurts like hell bro I don’t even want to imagine, I bled so much when the hymn broke it hurt like omg, immediately stopped and for the second time as well I bled so much and it still hurt like hell how the hell people do this. I am too scared to do it now.
Omg that sound so scary where you and your partner or person you did it properly prepared. If you guys just went at it with out any preparation, and this sounds weird for me to say, but if you guys did it without stretching you out first(pls don’t take this in a weird way I just wanna help) then your gonna bleed and rip. Best way to go is to use lots of lube and start small with fingers if it’s your first time
Babe, that's most likely from lack of foreplay. First time shouldn't be excruciating and super bloody. Some pain that dissipates and a little blood is one thing but it shouldn't be so bad it makes you scared. Discomfort the first few times is normal but you gotta make sure your partner is getting up in there and prepping you beforehand. Lube is also your friend. If you and your partner are both inexperienced it might help if you watch some real couple amateur porn to get some ideas.
The hymen shouldn't be breaking like that as it typically is worn down from every day activities and if it was too tight there needs to be more engaging foreplay. You should be loose and relaxed contrary to popular belief ie. tighter the better. Along with lube a water based one preferably. If it's a prevailing issue it could be vaginismus. Make sure to speak to each other a lot and sometimes being on top can help you control the speed of entry if you've got strong legs.
Foreplay is the best. You both need to take your sweet ass time with it and make sure you're both communicating with eachother. Not only do you need to learn one another's bodies but you also need to become acquainted with your own in this situation. Never be afraid to voice how you're feeling and if your partner doesn't listen to you it's time to stop then and there. Good luck! Also, protection, protection protection!!! If they "can't feel it/doesn't feel as good" try a different condom.
But its not like I entirely hate the story I do hate triangles yes, the fact the story is supposed to be dark I don’t have any complaints! Also when author said it was mild so far is crazy af