Zee's Topics (310)

I can’t. I don’t anywhere else to go ,,, I don’t have money. He said he loves me, and I love him back ,, what do I do?

Do you have family members that would help or even the police? Even a domestic violence hotline you can call to get help?

my family has cut all ties with me since I’m gay, I’ve tried calling them, but I have very limited time to talk to them. I can only stay on my phone for about 1-2 hours and he’s always watching me while I’m on my phone, so I can’t.

so your boyfriend is forbidding you to use your phone? Well, If you are okay with that its fine but maybe you should try to get along with your family again.

so your boyfriend is forbidding you to use your phone? Well, If you are okay with that its fine but maybe you should try to get along with your family again. (￣∇￣")

If you can’t talk to them on the phone, there might be services like that where you can just text them so he can’t hear you. Also, doesn’t matter how much you love him, if he’s being abusive, you gotta find some way to escape or report him. It’s not good to be in a relationship like that and the only way these types of relationships work is in fictional stories like these. They never work in real life and you shouldn’t try to justify the actions of a person that is controlling and hurting you by saying you love him. It’s unhealthy and I hope you’re able to find a way for you to live your own life so you can be truly happy.

Thank you so much,,I’ll try to find a way out.

No problem, I wish the best for you!

I’m sorry,, I can’t do it. He says he’s only doing this because he loves me and that he’ll harm himself if I ever try to leave. I don’t think I can leave him, or if I want too. but thank you for your advice!

I know how you’ll feel but someone that truly loves you wouldn’t try to trap you. I don’t know if what I will say will change your mind, but that’s not true love. Even if it’s a cliche, the line, “if you love them, let them go” is really true in my opinion. It’s obviously not healthy for you, and if they truly loved you, they wouldn’t do something that would hurt you. The line, “I’m only doing this because I love you” is something most domestic abusers use on their lovers and such to try to justify their actions and make their victims think it’s okay or it’s their fault, when it isn’t. Sorry if I seem like I’m being too nosy, but I’m honestly just worried. Even if you truly want to make it work, the other party needs to work on themselves then. They need to go to therapy or something, they shouldn’t expect you to take their abuse just because love is involved. If they truly loved you, they would work hard to better themselves so that both of you can be happy. You have to put priorities on yourself and your wellbeing. If they’re saying that they’ll harm themselves if they leave you, you have to slap some sense into them(figuratively). That type of mindset isn’t healthy(it may be romanticized in anime and I might even like some characters like that, but they’re just characters and should not be accepted in real life). Even if it’s hard, I think you should really talk about how if he truly loved you, he should let you go as it’s truly not healthy for either you or him. Either that, or he will have to work harder for you. Just saying sorry won’t cut it, they have to make an effort to change. A relationship isn’t made up of just one person, both of you have to make an effort for the other person that is healthy. Love is supposed to make each other better, not hurt or stunt each other. If you truly want to stay with him, I can only hope you will try to get him to better himself as a person, as I don’t see the way he treats you as healthy at all. Don’t let love be an excuse or be twisted by their behaviors. It isn’t healthy to accept being controlled like that.


(Even when it comes to being hurt or the controlling type of relationship, there are relationships like that which are healthy. I heard some bdsm couples are like that, but they have consent and have boundaries. Both parties get something out of it and they both want that type of relationship. However, from what I’ve seen, I don’t think that’s what you have.)

I don’t know if this will help, but I can only try my best to help you and if you really want to stay with him, hopefully you’re able to help your relationship turn towards a better direction before things really become irreversible. Pay attention to what you want the most, and not what he feels. Even if what he says sways you’re decision, you have to look at this from a perspective of seeing which will make you truly happy.


(Also, threatening to harm themselves is very toxic and that’s why I really think you need to think this through. Sorry if it seems like I’m being nosy...)

Good luck and I wish you the best.