Ariashi

Oh god, are you OK? I mean we're in the same situation ryt now but if u were to ask me I always think that there are tons of things i still want to do and that I can no longer do those when o'm dead or I just think of my mother and how she will react if i leave her...I really can't say much but be strong and hope you'll be fine.

i let myself feel like that and focus on me. my wants, needs and sh at that moment. and then usually i come across something that gives me motivation to “do.” and i feel a lot better.

at my lowest, I'd just get panic attack after panic attack. I was close to ending it all but I just thought about how much of my parents' money I'd be wasting. I guilt tripped myself and finally decided to go to a professional. I really do suggest to seek professional help. I went to cognitive therapy and took 25mg of antidepressants twice a day. I've been on medication for 2 years now and I've gone through 3 types of antidepressants. I know recovery will take time but now I just live to see the good days. I believe you will get through this too.

I dunno who you are but i really hope you'll recover veryy soon cuz reading ur message just scared me and am glad i was able to find and give u a response.

I usually go outside, preferably in the morning, walk around, see that there are people in more unfortunate/less comfortable condition than me that is working hard... Realize the world is much bigger than my problem, that I'm just a small, puny existence in this world. Usually when I interact with people who just going on with their lives, that really puts me into perspective. Buy food from small sellers, say thanks to service workers, etc. And then I get back home and I'd start feeling a little bit better. You can try that too :) of course with proper safety precautions!

if those thoughts are frequent, please seek professional help if you can. mental health is no joke and constantly feeling down shouldn't be neglected as it can be the first red flag that our body might not work properly at the moment so checking in with a specialist is definitely something to consider. also try talking about it to your family and/or friends (i don't know your situation, but if you feel safe in your environment, definitely bring it up!). however, if you need something to ease your mind on your own, i highly recommend journaling and meditation. they might not tackle the problem at its root, but journaling helps you vent (just write down everything that bothers you and things you can't say out loud, this way you keep your thoughts calm and you don't have to bottle them up) and meditation clears your head.
i don't know if this question is only theoretical, but if it is not then i really hope you'll be able to overcome your thoughts and find yourself in a better state in no time. may you find strength and happiness in your life

Thank you