Well I can't relate, I don't really had sex before but I'm sure that their is somebody who can understand your pain
(=・ω・=)
Maybe they're are people who thinks of fictional characters while masturbating (not me either sorry) ?
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Ow gosh buddy, don't worry it's not disgusting at all !! It's a part of your identity and nobody have the right to tell anybody that. You can talk, reply if you want to know more. I kinda know this feeling... ;)
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