monozuki

So, what's up with this chapter?
First, we have Jian Yi, giving his all, jumping off the emotional cliff as it were, finally stating clearly what, who and why as he grabs Xi with his shaking hands. As he speaks, we can see Xi reacting - he narrows his eyes - which is subtly reminiscent of the under-the-bridge talk they had a while back, which as I recall, affected Xi very strongly. Here, he mostly maintains composure, probably due to the fact that what he asks for is more of a confirmation, rather than explanation. However, the slight expression shift as he listens clues us in as to the impact Jian Yi's words must have had on him - expected or not.
There's no question that Jian Yi is extremely dear to Xixi, expressions of this are plentiful throughout the whole series. Jian Yi is his most precious person, that's clear. The bitterness in this sweet sentence, though, lies with the fact that their love for each other doesn't quite align. Yet. Looking at Xi I see the devotion he has for a precious friend, on the level of his family even, but not quite physical. There hasn't been any physical initiative from him (not to confuse with sexual tension... there's plenty of that thankyouverymuch! *wipes nose* *cough*) and there's still some visible resistance when Jian Yi is the one to initiate such contact. But he's not uninterested; consciously or otherwise. He empathises with Jian Yi deeply, needs to know everything about him, to protect him, to literally be by his side. All the while being subject to Jian Yi's temperament, his prevy innuendos (sexual harassment, really, haha), his secrets, his issues... the lost goes on. And Xi sticks with it.
Well. Uninterested is not the best word... Xi is being influenced, his resistance being eroded each time he sees Hian Yi dropping his happy-go-lucky mask and reviling a piece of his hidden self. Xi is fascinated, perhaps even against his will. He can't help but follow Jian Yi, be pulled in by expressions he doesn't know, by this vast, unknown space within his seemingly just-best-friend. Xi tries to cope with this using the tools he has (i.e. his endearment towards him), tries frantically to to follow set boundaries that he thinks are unmovable, without realizing it's all just castles on sand. That this irresistible pull he feels is like a tide that slowly, but surely, washes away at the foundations, ever so slightly pushing them back each time. Xi thinks he is resisting, but in reality he only becomes more and more buried within the ever-moving sands (of loooooooove... *cough* sorry, couldn't resist).
The way I see it, Xi is not a very expressive or emotional person. He's not affectionate towards people and has no interest in girls even though he is not gay. His attention is always focused on one person only. Were Jian Yi not in love with him, this would probably never be more than the most epic bromance in history. As it is, however, the extremely close proximity to such intense feelings from the only person he dropped all his guard with changes Xi. Jian Yi often lays on him more than Xi can possibly take, but Xi never retreats for more than a second. He always, always instantly adjusts and is always there to catch what Jian Yi throws at him. The more Jian Yi reveals, the more Xi changes and adjusts.
And then - the kiss. It is a sign of endearment, of course. But, more importantly, this is the first time Xi actually initiates intimate, physical contact like that. The way he brushes off Jian Yi's hair, the way he touches him and lays the kiss on his forehead, only moments after Jian Yi revealed just how deeply he feels for Xi. There's so much in this scene: the endless tenderness and attentiveness with which Xi tries to console scarred Jian Yi. Wanting to express how dear Jian Yi is to him, how much he wants to be strong and protect him. But also the sorrow at hurting Jian Yi, I think: "you like men?" he asked after all. Hi didn't understand then, but now he does. Perhaps that's why it was so hard to ask this question now. He knew how he hurt Jian Yi before and he wouldn't do it again, even if it was hard, he would show he understands. He saw Jian Yi run out of the room, he felt how his hands were shaking, he saw through the composed mask Jian Yi put on and he saw the bent back as Jian Yi left the room, scarred, alone. And so, once again, he was pulled in - or perhaps this time he didn't even need the waves, he moved alone - and came to Jian Yi. He called his name, caressed Jian Yi's soft hair and kissed the forehead of his most precious person.

Anywho. That's what I think!
The end m(_ _)m

With some snooping around, it seems that the mangaka placed info at the end of volume one stating there WILL be volume 2. Here's the source of the info (from 3 years ago):
http://fencer-x.tumblr.com/post/61814844517/manga-koi-nante-shinai-06-065
If anyone knows more about this, please do post it as well. (〜￣△￣)〜